19 replies to this topic

[CherokeeGem]

[font=Verdana][size=7]Please help me.... I am looking for some type of support for my 19 yr nephew. His injury was almost 3 yrs ago and he is now in hospital for trying to take his life. He is a great person just has had no support since this happened to him. I am not sure what his injuries are called I just know he has no feeling from his armpits down and can not even sit straight up on his own. I need people in the area or perhaps some support groups that I may get him too and even help with wheelchair info that is mobilized. Anything that I can do to help him see he is not alone and still can have a life. If anyone could help me please email me at missindiangem@msn.com.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. This attachment is a pic of him.

Attached Thumbnails

• 

[Kevin]

My heart goes out to you and your nephew. Depression is life stopping (no pun intended... It really does stop you from living life) even when you don't try to take your own life. It's devastating. Has he seen any counselors? Started taking any medication?

I hope you find someone in your area who can show him life is worth living!

Kevin

*edited because my message appeared 3 times for some reason*

Edited by Kevin, 24 April 2007 - 01:56 PM.

[brackman22]

It's a great thing he is in the hospital right now. Not that his suicide attempt was a good thing. Your family needs to to get together with the hospital social worker. You need to tell him/her everything you know about your nephew and his state of mind. Tell of his demeaner, attitudes, behaviors and/or changes in them. It sounds like he needs in house therapy but there are not too many clinics really set up to care for your cousin completely. The only thing we can tell you is to make sure he knows how important it is to you that he sticks around and that you love him. Keep on that social worker. It is ther job to get your cousin the services he needs.

I wish you good luck.

BRETT

[Lucydog]

Well I thought Id reply publicly here. A close member of my family had a breakdown about 4 years ago. At the time we were completly without any support at all. The person in question ws very very ill but basically we hd to beg for any help as it wsnt seen s beeing necessary. It was desparate times for us and it sems mental illness is never taken that seriosuly. At the moment it really doesnt matter what you say to your nephew, nothing is going to help him right now as he cannot cannot cannot see any reason for living. All you can do is be there.

However there are things you can do. Firstly you have to be reall nagging, moaning, whiging, complaining relatives. Help not available? rubbish! Doing all they can? Rubbish! Remember you want the best and you need to become hard headed and focused on getting him the best. Is he on any meds at the moment, getting psychiatric care etc? Right now is not the best time to seek out support groups and stuff. He needs to start picking himsefl up a little bit and that may take months, so dont rush it.

Also whats going on with the physical aspects of his life? You said he was about T4? If so after 3 years he should be able to do most things in his life. Either he hasnt had the rehab he needs or the family hsnt been tough enough in getting him to be his own man. Either way you need to toughen up and be harder on everyone. And I really mean that in a nice way. His life isnt over, its just begun, and it can be a wonderful life, its just not the life any of us thought we would have.

take care and pm me if you want.

cheers
Lucydog

[CherokeeGem]

I want to thank you all... I just don't know where to begin to look for help? I have spoken to the Social Workers here and they are clueless. I can't seem to get him to do anything for him self it's like he has given up. He has no control over bowels and bladder or any back and stomache control. He can move his arms and head. He has no type of physical Thereapy. His Mother my sister just waited on him hand and foot and kinda kept him in a room like outta sight outta mind. I will not do that!!! I am now stepping in and will not Baby him but I want him to get off his ass and live again cause I believe there is still a way to do the things he use to enjoy we will just have to learn together. I want to take him camping but I am ignorant as well...would not know what he would need? Is there any companies that has the mobile wheelchairs that his medicaid insurance would cover? I appreciate any and all advice so I can help him feel independent again and to do things again. I cannot seem to find any resources around here or I am not looking in the right places.
Once again THANK YOU ALL !!!!!!!

[itsjustme]

Hi CherokeeGem,

Did you get the email that I sent to your email address with phone numbers in your area for Social Services and Info Links? I can't imagine what the social workers at the hospital are doing. They were invaluable to me and my family.

Did Medicaid purchase a wheelchair for him when he came out of the hospital after his accident? If not, all you need to do is get in touch with any one of the big wheelchair suppliers and they will go to work on the paperwork getting him fitted with what he needs and working on getting him approved for a chair. They are more than willing. They'll come to the hospital before he leaves if you get in touch with one of them. They are anxious to sell those chairs. That's why you see all of those commercials on T.V.

No wonder he is depressed if they've just been keeping him in his room basically. There is help out there for him. Just because one person doesn't have a clue don't give up. Call the phone numbers. I don't know how big Wooster is but if you can't find anything in your city then call the next biggest city for Social Services. Don't give up. There are so many agencies who offer support and services. You just have to find them. The American Legion here loans wheelchairs for instance. Now that's obviously not what your nephew needs but I'm just saying that there are organizations out there who want to help people and someone can hook you up.

Good luck!

[CherokeeGem]

Yes I got the numbers and have been working on it with no answers yet. I will NOT give up though it seems as if I am the only one willing to stand up to his Mother, my sister to show him there is life. He has a chair but not sure where it came from. It looks just like a regular hospital wheelchair and is very large and does not support him well cuz he cannot sit up himself without strapping him in. I have another question to anyone that can help....where can he get the pressure sores out and how often do I check him or make sure to shift him? I want to learn it all before he gets out of the Coma so I can make things better for him. He will come out of it because he is a survivor. He broke his neck, back and several surgeries and still here for me to enjoy and love and I will not waste another moment of saying I should have done this and that. I will show him he still has life!!!

[xeena]

Hi,
Sorry about your nephew...what i\m sure you can di best is to let him know ANd makke him feel that he is not alone in this..in otherwords try to be there for him if you really really wanna help.Also find a way to make him talk,once he starts he'll find it refreshing he wont stop and that will really help him.Also you can read the bible to Him...God's word is really soothing.
hope things work out...cos despite all the odds ,there is a lot to live for.

Attached Thumbnails

• 

[gsp23]

I had a serious bout with depression as well years ago and I used to cut on myself. At the time if I died, I died no big deal. If I didnt then whatever, what would be the difference anyways. Anyways, what he needs is both a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist. The Psychologist is great and is basically there to talk to and they have a tendancy of getting you to talk about and actually work through your problems, but the key is they MUST be a good fit. If he is not comfortable with the first psychologist then look for another. The Psychiatrist is good because they basically hear an overview of your problems and get you on the meds that a person needs to be on. It takes a while to get on the correct ones sometimes, but ones the correct dosage and mixture of meds are found it can make all the difference in the world, so its important to stick with it and take them as instructed till the correct thing is found.

The combination of Psychologist and Psychiatrist is important and was key for me. After years of depression and lots of scars on my arms and wrists, I finally started feeling better at a point. I am glad I did because now even with everything that has happened since, I am glad to still be here.

[CherokeeGem]

I am on the way.... I spoke to a ladt today from Patient Advocacy and she is getting me the contacts I need for my Nephew. I did like you all said I did not take no for an answer and I threatened and bitched and ranted as well but hey it worked!!! I will keep you all posted. Thanks again. Still looking for camping suggestions the more the better...Have a great week.
Melissa

[CherokeeGem]

[b] TO ALL MY NEPHEW WOKE YESTERDAY!!!!!! I AM SOOOOOO HAPPY AND HEAR IS THE BEST NEWS HE DID NOT I REPEAT DID NOT TRY TO TAKE HIS LIFE THIS TIME. THEY STILL ARE NOT SURE BUT THEY THINK IT WAS A BAD REACTION WITH NEW MEDS AND OLD ONES MIXED. BUT HE WANTS TO LIVE AND NOW WE HAVE HIM BACK!!!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT. I AM GONNA HAVE HIM JOIN SO HE CAN SEE HE CAN STILL DO ALMOST ALL HE DID BEFORE AND STILL HAVE FUN. SO PLEASE WELCOME HIM WITH OPEN ARMS. I WILL STILL BE HERE AS WELL BOTHERING YOU ALL FOR ADVICE AND EDUCATION ON ALL OF THIS.
ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU Sooooooo MUCH!!!!
MELISSA

Attached Thumbnails

• 

[Survivor35]

So so so glad to hear that!!!! Please direct him here, everyone on here is sooo wonderful, and he will no doubt get lots of encouragment and advice from all of us. Again, relieved to hear the new developments!!

[Izziwhizzi]

Survivor35, on Apr 27 2007, 04:32 PM, said:

So so so glad to hear that!!!! Please direct him here, everyone on here is sooo wonderful, and he will no doubt get lots of encouragment and advice from all of us. Again, relieved to hear the new developments!!

And please stay here and keep up the encouragement with him too! He can be totally independant, live, work, socialise & make a family - he can have a great life - just not quite the one he thought he was going to have!

Good luck

L xx

[gsp23]

Great to hear that! Yes, please have him join here so he can see what all is out there and share experiences with others that can understand. Please stick around here yourself as there is always room for friends/family as well.

[itsjustme]

That's such wonderful news! We're all looking forward to getting to know him when he's able to join us. Give him all our best 'til then!

[Avocado Baby]

Hi there.

Sorry I've only just been able to read this thread. I'm sooo happy to hear your news. I have tears in my eyes!

You sound like an awesome Aunt and with your support, I'm sure he can lead a great life.

Edited by Pink Ali, 29 April 2007 - 02:07 PM.

[ParaforGod]

I just read whats been going on with your newphew and Im so glad he is o.k. When I was in the plane crash and loss my husband I had a double dose so I went thru a time of depression. I never tried to kill myself but I did have times when I thought it would have been better to died. I felt like a burden. I agree with gsp23 make sure he talks to a professional and gets on the right medication. Even though he feels better encourage him to talk to someone. There is a webpage www.joniandfriends.org. Joni has a fund that is given if you qualfiy. You could use this fund for a chair if needed. Joni is in a chair herself and she also has a place that is wheelchir accessable where people in wheelchairs and their family can go on vacation. Joni has written several books and growing up she went camping alot while in her chair. Im sure she could tell you all you need to know about camping on how to do it and where to go. I also am a high T4 and when I lift my arms I fall over but I've learned to compensate my balance. I drive and pretty much do for myself. I have to have help with a few things. Tell your nephew to work hard and reach for the sky because life is worth living. God is still so very good. Best of luck to you both.

[wheeliebear75]

Wow it's wonderful to know that it was not a suicide attempt. When ur nephew is feeling up to it.....we'd love to send out the welcome wagon.

[xeena]

Hey,
awesome news about your nephew...he is blessed to have you step in.The Lord will strengthen and guive you wisdom on how best to relate and care for him.Thanks for being there..
xeena

[Quadvet]

That's really great Melissa, you're a godsend for sure. I hope he continues to get better and realizes his capabilities. Keep posting.