20 replies to this topic

[ParaforGod]

Many of us have talked about those that park in handicap parking that don't have cards but yesterday took the cake. I was at a convenient store pulled up next to the gas pump closest to the front door got out and pumped my gas then went into the store to pay. When I came back out to get in my van a red car was pulled in between my van and the front door which isn't even a parking space. There was just enough room for the car to pull in and the front doors to the store still open. The store was packed. I opened the door and ask did the car belong to any of the people in line to checkout. They all said no so I went back out to wait in the hot temperature outside. I waited about 10 minutes and this lady came out and opens the passenger side door of the car. This is what really got to me. I ask her was it her car and she said yes. I politely ask her to move her car because I couldn't get my ramp down to get in my van when she said wait one minute and before I could say anything she walked back into the store. She had been in line when I ask who the car belonged to. When she came out of the store she apologized and I told her I had ask who the car belonged to and that she didn't speak up and that by this time I had waited over ten minutes. She hurriedly got into the car pulled out. I just wondered if anyone has ever ask someone to move there vehicle and them refuse and do like this lady did.

[Kandice]

It's incredible how many inconsiderate people there are out there.

I would have been irate if that had happened to me.

[nomis]

Paraforgod wrote "...I just wondered if anyone has ever ask someone to move there vehicle and them refuse and do like this lady did."

That aint no lady

[graphic]

Yep, some people are rude. There was a discussion I joined on a motoring forum recently concerning disabled parking bays and the abuse of them. Most people understood how necessary they were to disabled people, but I could have thumped some. One 'lady' in particular was downright rude. This a snippet of our conversation:

Her:
I don't park near shops, I very, very rarely take my car shopping, prefer to walk to my local butcher and grocer and baker.
Me:
I'm very happy that you're able to make the choice to walk Stacey.
Her:
Yep it is a choice, but no different to a choice that anyone else, disabled or not can make.
Me:
Erm, let's see. I can't use my legs, you can. I can't walk, you can. Oh, I get it! I CAN walk too if I CHOOSE to!
Erm sorry, seem to have fallen over here.
Her:
Like my cousin says, use your wheels.
Me:
If you've read my previous posts Stacey you'll see that I do. However if you have read them then you obviously haven't noted the points about ramps, steps etc. At the end of the day Stacey you're obviously just a self-centred person and I sincerely hope you never have need to eat humble pie.
Her:
I have read your posts and read all your points, and it is obviuosly something you need to bring up with the shops as its their problem to sort out and if you don't ask you don't get.
And at the end of the day you don't know who I am or what I am like so until you do please refrian from using personal insults.
Me:
Well according to you I shoud just get on with things and not expect any special treatment but at the same time take the issues up with the shops. I don't expect more rights than you, but I expect equal rights. Your points make it clear that you don't know what you're talking about. Next time you go walkabout just take note of every kerb, every step and every hill. As for personal insults, read what you've said to becca-viola.
Sorry Stacey, but your replies in this post make it quite clear what sort of person you are.


Some more of her pearls of wisdom and consideration when I tried to explain that using a car wasn't actually a preference:

Her:
"I know its not about preference, but there is still a choice. You don't have to go to the shops, you don't have to use car, you don't have to a lot of things but you do exactly the same as people without wheelchairs. Because you choose to do these things do not expect people to bend over backwards to help you. It is your choice."

Her:
"You don't have to take the car, use the bus. Many many people are not fortunate enough to have a car, what do you suggest they do? I know this is a car site but not very many people actually need a car, however shitty public transport is its still there. And I've never saw a bus without disabled access in about 5 years. You want the same access as other people you already do but won't use it."

This made laugh though, another poster said:

Him:
Some people cannot ride on public transport for various issues, my son certainly couldn't as for one there will be no power outlet for his respirator when he needs one.
Her:
Then that is fair enough, not meaning to have this sound very harsh but do you have a power outlet in the car, I'm just interested.
Him:
No we just blow in his face if he turns blue

She's of the opinion that providing wider parking bays to enable someone to get a wheelchair out of their car is 'bending over backwards to help'. She REALLY made my blood boil

Edited by graphic, 09 June 2007 - 12:17 AM.

[wheeliebear75]

Unfortunately the answer is yes. We have had people come and park on the hash marks like it is a regular parking space. When we informed one owner (he was bent about not being able to just "go" because we had to back the car out and pull it behind him and transfer in the part of the lot that is driven on) that hash marks are NEVER a parking space not even for those with plaques. He then informed us that "you people think you own the world just because you can't walk.....get over it". Now that's pretty darn rude. I'm not bitter I just want to get into our car.....and like you NO that is NOT asking too much.

[wheeliebear75]

That lady should try doing her same routes in a wheelchair. Even the slope of the sidewalks to not flood effects how hard it may be to push yourself. Well by "motoring" would that by chance be about mini coopers or just driving in general? My chair is very small only 22" in @ widest point (bottoms of wheels they're slightly cambered), and since MINI Coopers are small I've gotten lucky here and there where I otherwise would have been blocked; so I figure if I can't transfer into the car (if I'm in a disabled space) there is something wrong with this picture. This has happened before spaces are designated but TOTALLY inadequate. American Indians used to say "walk a mile in my moccasins", well how about "roll a mile in my wheels"?

graphic, on Jun 8 2007, 10:56 PM, said:

Yep, some people are rude. There was a discussion I joined on a motoring forum recently concerning disabled parking bays and the abuse of them. Most people understood how necessary they were to disabled people, but I could have thumped some. One 'lady' in particular was downright rude. This a snippet of our conversation:

Her:
I don't park near shops, I very, very rarely take my car shopping, prefer to walk to my local butcher and grocer and baker.
Me:
I'm very happy that you're able to make the choice to walk Stacey.
Her:
Yep it is a choice, but no different to a choice that anyone else, disabled or not can make.
Me:
Erm, let's see. I can't use my legs, you can. I can't walk, you can. Oh, I get it! I CAN walk too if I CHOOSE to!
Erm sorry, seem to have fallen over here.
Her:
Like my cousin says, use your wheels.
Me:
If you've read my previous posts Stacey you'll see that I do. However if you have read them then you obviously haven't noted the points about ramps, steps etc. At the end of the day Stacey you're obviously just a self-centred person and I sincerely hope you never have need to eat humble pie.
Her:
I have read your posts and read all your points, and it is obviuosly something you need to bring up with the shops as its their problem to sort out and if you don't ask you don't get.
And at the end of the day you don't know who I am or what I am like so until you do please refrian from using personal insults.
Me:
Well according to you I shoud just get on with things and not expect any special treatment but at the same time take the issues up with the shops. I don't expect more rights than you, but I expect equal rights. Your points make it clear that you don't know what you're talking about. Next time you go walkabout just take note of every kerb, every step and every hill. As for personal insults, read what you've said to becca-viola.
Sorry Stacey, but your replies in this post make it quite clear what sort of person you are.


Some more of her pearls of wisdom and consideration when I tried to explain that using a car wasn't actually a preference:

Her:
"I know its not about preference, but there is still a choice. You don't have to go to the shops, you don't have to use car, you don't have to a lot of things but you do exactly the same as people without wheelchairs. Because you choose to do these things do not expect people to bend over backwards to help you. It is your choice."

Her:
"You don't have to take the car, use the bus. Many many people are not fortunate enough to have a car, what do you suggest they do? I know this is a car site but not very many people actually need a car, however shitty public transport is its still there. And I've never saw a bus without disabled access in about 5 years. You want the same access as other people you already do but won't use it."

This made laugh though, another poster said:

Him:
Some people cannot ride on public transport for various issues, my son certainly couldn't as for one there will be no power outlet for his respirator when he needs one.
Her:
Then that is fair enough, not meaning to have this sound very harsh but do you have a power outlet in the car, I'm just interested.
Him:
No we just blow in his face if he turns blue

She's of the opinion that providing wider parking bays to enable someone to get a wheelchair out of their car is 'bending over backwards to help'. She REALLY made my blood boil

[MDK]

Here in Chiang Mai Thailand,not only the parking lots for w/c are far & few in between but are also smaller than average.
To explain to a thai person that you need them to move their car off the w/c parking slot is paramount to asking them to move a mountain in 99% cases.

[edlee]

I should probably keep my mouth shut here, but that has never been my nature .

I can completely understand the annoyance with someone who is illegally parked. That they should know better, goes without saying.

But, being upset at someone for expressing their opinion strikes me as being unfair. To call them names or belittle them for it seems, quite simply, rude.

I don't know who " her " is in graphics post, but even from graphic's own rendition of the exchange, it seems that " her " was very polite throughout even after being called " A self centered person".

I read what graphics says "her" wrote and can find nothing wrong with it. Her entire argument was based on the premise, that everything we do, each action we take is by choice. She didn't say that our inability to walk was a choice, it is simply a fact. Like height, gender, color,etc..

The truth is, If we want to be treated equally, looked upon like everyone else, then we have to accept the same servings of rudeness and impoliteness as they do.

It was true before I got hurt and it's true now. " Life's a bitch then you die."

So suck it up, cupcake!! ( something my drill sgt. used to say when someone moaned about anything)
ed

[crash.ca]

Hi everyone,
I drive a van with a wheel-chair lift and am always thrilled when I find that handicap stall that is of a suitable size so that I can exit my van. But more often than not, even though it is 'one' stall, someone tries to sqeeze their car right next to the van. The last time that occurred, I happened to be in the van and just for laughs (lol), started to put my ramp down! Ah...the look of fear...didn't take long for them to move their vehicle. But I've learned to park on an angle so I can be reasonably sure I can access my vehicle when ready to leave. I have a sign right on the side of my vehicle informing people of the lift etc., and it frightens me that so many people drive that can't read...lol...

[bdmpastx]

You should have dropped the ramp down the side of the car and said oops sorry. Lol. Some Lotus parked in the striped area next to my truck blocking me and I just pushed my wheelchair down the side of it and then proceeded to load my chair up with my lift. The chair banged up the side as it went up and over to the bed of the truck. If someone has no consideration of me, I am not going to extend consideration onto them.

[crash.ca]

Action 'always' speaks louder than words!!! lol

[graphic]

To try and clarify a little abot my post edlee, 'Her" was a person in another discussion. She was very rude to another disabled person, insisting that if she wanted her to believe that the other person couldn't use public transport then she should post her medical details on a public forum to prove it. My comments to her about being rude and self centred arose from the abuse she gave the other person. She said she couldn't accept the other persons word and wanted medical evidence. She actually called the other person a liar.
However, although she didn't say disability was a choice, in effect she said that going out was, refusing to believe that not everyone could use public transport (one has to be able to get to a bus stop in the first place). I might be wrong, but I also found the bit about 'expecting people to bend over backwards to help' quite insulting and condescending. Remember, all we were talking about was the provision of wider parking bays, which is hardly asking anyone to bend over backwards. She said we have the same choices as everyone else, but the fact is we don't. A simple measure like parking bays goes a long way to giving us those choices. This is not about 'positive' discrimination. As another person in the discussion said, it's about equality, giving a wheelchair user the ability to get out a car the same as everyone else. No more, no less. There's a difference between not choosing to do something because you don't want to and not doing something because you can't....that's not choice. On another post she said she couldn't attend a job interview because she just couldn't face it and asked the members for help. Rather a case of double standards I think.
The discussion ran to seventeen pages with contributions from other people, so I'm afraid you don't get the full picture from the little I've posted here. I stand by what I said...one of the most self centred people I've spoken to.

Edited by graphic, 11 June 2007 - 12:48 PM.

[edlee]

I will apologize here and now to anyone I may have insulted with my earlier post. It is all too true that I did not have the advantage of reading the discussion in it's original. I certainly didn't mean to indicate in any way that I agreed with what "her" said.

My only reason to post at all was to express my sorrow at having to read here, as we all do at other forums, an example of name calling. I have come to expect a higher quality of posts. It has been said, and I must agree, that name calling is the refuge of small minds. I have come to believe that the vast majority of the members here are above that and should hope that it remains so.

If , by chance, I am mistaken, feel free to message me personally rather than muddy the waters, here, further.

ed

[graphic]

edlee, on Jun 13 2007, 01:03 AM, said:

I will apologize here and now to anyone I may have insulted with my earlier post. It is all too true that I did not have the advantage of reading the discussion in it's original. I certainly didn't mean to indicate in any way that I agreed with what "her" said.

My only reason to post at all was to express my sorrow at having to read here, as we all do at other forums, an example of name calling. I have come to expect a higher quality of posts. It has been said, and I must agree, that name calling is the refuge of small minds. I have come to believe that the vast majority of the members here are above that and should hope that it remains so.

If , by chance, I am mistaken, feel free to message me personally rather than muddy the waters, here, further.

ed

No need for me to message you privately edlee. You seem to be just as happy to post your opinion of me in a public forum as I was of "her". You have your opinion...I have mine. No problem

Edited by graphic, 13 June 2007 - 01:32 PM.

[John Anderson]

Oh trust me...I've had a lot of that like jerks at school that just wants to piss me off. I don't have a ramp on my truck but I do like it better when I get space to pull myself out. Some times people are just jerks and wouldn't move out of the way for ya. It's just rude and well trust me when I get pissed, I just run them over like there's no tomorrow.

Something happened to me today too. After getting done at the clinic, I decided to go to the store and by some food for dinner. I saw this guy pulled up into my (or I mean the blue spot lol ) and walked out right in front of me. Now I didn't see no tag on his car so I roll down my window and asked him to move (since that was closest to the store and well I got lazy so...) he looked at me and said, "Whatever..." and walked in the store. Damn I got so pissed off I parked my truck near his (where I'm not suppose to...oops lol) and got off and went in and chased him down.

I looked up at him and gave him a glare and then said, "Move your car or I'll move it for you." with my evil voice lol and he looked at me, paused and just started to apologize for what he did and rushed out to move the car.

Why do people apologize later rather then think first? It pissed me off but next time that happens, I'm taking out my army knife and popping their tires...

[xeena]

Hmmm,
How lucky you all are that your Government and people that own establishments are even interested enough to have parking spaces for people with disabilities,how much more bigger ones.I think there's an old story that bes illustrates this.
One morning a man went on his knees in prayer and began to pray and all he kept asking For was for a new pair of shoes,one day God took him on a trip,there he met a man who was very happy and didnt seem to have any care in this world,and God said "Look at His feet' He didint have any,yet he was grateful for life just grateful to be alive.
I have a car Yet half of the time,even in church i have no where to park.Why? In my country there's absolutely NOTHING provided,built or planned with the physically challenged in mind.We are begining to try to create an awareness,but its gonna take a long long long time.So if you are at least sure of a parking space where your going..."Be Happy"

[edlee]

Thank you Xeena for a voice of reason.

It seems sometimes that there is a sense of entitlement in my country that borders on the absurd.

It's not just the disabled I'm speaking of , but the entire population ( myself included at times).

I wish you luck and hope that your government soon comes to realize what a great value you and those like you are to your country. When they do they will be more likely to do what is neccesary to allow you to fulfill your unlimited potenial.
ed

[Nichole]

I've got to say i've seen a lot of people use the parking spaces when they are not supposed to. I hate when i park in a spot and then someone pulls next to me in hatched out blue area! Why don't people understand that we need those for a reason!! I don't even have a ramp, I drive a pretty small car and i just pick my chair up and put it in the seat next to me, but i need to be able to open my car door all the way just to get the chair in! I can't even imagine what it's like trying to get a ramp down if someone pulls next to you! I really wouldn't mind parking in the back of a parking lot even! I don't mind if i have to push myself far, but when people pull next to you like that it's just about physically impossible to get in the damn car!

[hateit]

this "lady" as you call her is just selfish and doesn't think about others.

[gsp23]

Last weekend I went to a local bar/grill. There are two handicap spots next to the door and almost every time I see people parked in them without tags. Well last time we were there I watched a group of people on motorcycles come in and they parked across both the spots and the dashed area between them. We pulled in right behind them and I knew who they were becuase I SAW them walk in. Well my boyfriend not wanting to make a big deal out of it stops the truck by the door and gets my chair out (it was in the bed of his truck) and brings it around for me to go park. This local place has most of the spots in the dirt and down a hill and its tough to get up. The regular parking spots are so close together that ABs have a hard time getting in and out of their vehicles so I really needed that parking spot... well anyways these people on the motorcycles were watching my boyfriend get out of the truck in front of them and looking at him trying to figure out what he was doing. Whe he took the chair out of the back they all hurried in the restaurant. I got in there before him and I usually dont say anything to anybody cause I dont want them to think I am an angry cripple but this time got to me... I was looking for a table to sit at and on my way back to the table I pass one of the guys that had parked in that area. I looked right at him and said "hmmm, you dont look very cripple to me." and he said "excuse me" I said well you guys all just parked in the handicap spots out front so there wasnt anywhere for me to park, I was just saying that for someone who parked in a handicap spot you sure dont look very crippled." The guy looks at me and said "Oh I'm so sorry about that I didnt realize it, I will go move it right away." I just kept going back to the table. Well a few minutes later he comes back in and walks back to our table and said with a really nasty attitude 180 degree different attitude than when I told him originally, he says "Since you were so rude about it I thought I would let you know that I checked and I wasnt in one of those spots." I told him that I watched him park and come in and the dashed lines not valid parking spots either." and he mumbled and stomped away. Probably telling all his friends about the angry cripple in the back. They all did hurry up and were gone quite a while before we were and of course there was an SUV without tags parked in one of the spots when I left...

sometimes its just not worth it, sometimes it is, and sometimes you just cant help but to say something rude or not!

[gsp23]

Nichole, on Jun 25 2007, 07:23 PM, said:

I really wouldn't mind parking in the back of a parking lot even! I don't mind if i have to push myself far, but when people pull next to you like that it's just about physically impossible to get in the damn car!

Agreed... I will park in the back of a parking lot too if I can just have enough room to get my door open and my chair in there turned around so I can get the wheels off and it folded up.

I have seen at some places what they are starting to do more and more is that the handicap parking places closest to the door, like in the main isles in front of the door, dont have hash marks next to them so they are more ment for the disabled walkers. Then there are ones off to the side a few isles that do have the hash marks by them. I like that setup cause then I have a figting chance of getting on with enough room. I hate going to stores and the only handicap spots open dont have any hash marks so it defeats the purpose of what I need the space for... I can only image how much worse that would be for those with ramps.