[fandistrong]

My family is really freaking out! We aren't sure if he's ready to come home yet since he still has a lot of things he needs to learn. The doctors said that they think by sending him home it's going to light a fire under his butt and make him learn to do things that he's been slacking on. I'm still so scared that when he gets home he's just going to do nothing but sit and watch tv and get angry at us. He's been in the hospital for so long that when they told us he was being sent home next week we were all just so worried.

I'm really scared this is not going to be a smooth transition....any thoughts? Advice? Anything that can help me cope a little.

*Y*

This post has been edited by fandistrong: 14 June 2007 - 04:05 PM

[Joed]

I was hoping to hear that your Dad's spirits had raised since your other post.

It's normal to go in and out of a kind of panic mode when someone with a life-changing injury is coming home. It's like eating an elephant...you can only take one bite at a time. ;)

If his environment is prepared at home and he's surrounded by those who love him, then the rest will be up to him. But he's eating an elephant too...so it just takes time.

Expect increased situational depression at times...something about returning to familiar surroundings in an unfamiliar body is particularly overwhelming...and I think a lot of us who are sci'd are a little sucker-punched by that at first. Just be there, remind him how far he's come, trouble-shoot with him in ways to make his life more manageable and independent.

But you're right...he will be pissed. On some days even the word "shower chair" will piss him off. Just don't allow him to take it out on you...it's not okay. Sometimes you're going to have to put your "hard arse" hat on.

Will he receive in-home therapy? I'm hoping so...I apologize if you've already mentioned this before.

[ParaforGod]

When it came time for me to come home my 18 yr. old daughter was the one who was going to take care of me. We both were afraid. Which I tried not to show it. We did fine and so will you. Be there for your dad but don't do every little thing for him. He will get mad at times and in the beginning alot. When he gets mad because you don't do something that he can do call him on it in a loving way and don't do it. If its something he can do and you don't do it if its important enough to him he will do it himself. Maybe getting home will make him feel better and try harder. Best of luck and know we are here for you.

[fandistrong]

Thank you so much for your responses!

I think I'm begining to realize it really is a day-to-day situation. Last week and this weekend was a little tough on us because we were so scared about my dad coming home but I think now my family and I are a little more comfortable with the thought. I mean I wish he would be able to stay at the hospital until he's completely independent, but I know that's not going to happen. The doctors and PT's said they will be getting him a home aid for the first month or so and arrange for in home PT and OT until he's more independent and can become outpatient.

We're getting the apt ready. Fortunatly our apt is quite large and our building is extremely accessible so I think he'll be ok. The only thing we're doing is throwing away things that will be in the way (i.e furniture), moving him and my mom into my room since it's bigger and closer to the large bathroom. We're also getting new closets organizing systems put in this week so that his clothes, the pantry and the dishes are easier to reach and he won't feel like he needs us to get anything for him.

He actually is saying that he's very excited to come home - I don't know how much of that is just because he's sick of working so hard or if he really wants to come home and start his life back again. I guess we'll know in due time.

Again, thanks for the responses ladies. This site has really been amazing!

Take care!