[Lucydog]

Is it me or does this happen to others as well?

These days I NEVER get invited to friends houses, the assumption seems to be I cant get into their house or something similar, not that anyone ever really suggests it in the first place you understand. So anyway I seem to spend my life meeting friends in various accessible cafes, restaurants and other hostelries!! I dont mind most of the time, but it does get boring to say the least, and of course you lose the intimacy of visitng someones house and having a home cooked meal. Finally I realised the cost implication is horrendous!! Over the last 6 weeks alone Ive spent a small fortune in going out and seeing people. I do invite friends over pretty regularly but I also get fed up being the host all the time.

Anyone experience anything similar?

[gsp23]

Yeah I understand what you are saying and recently have a sister that has even cut me off and decided she doesnt want to talk to me again. Always been a close family so its kinda hard but I'm dealing. I know what you mean though about not being invited to houses. Heck I had people over for the Indepenance day celebration this past weekend and when I tried to be the host and offer people something to drink they all told me no thanks. My boyfriend unknowingly comes by not 5 minutes later and asks people as well and half a dozen give their drink orders, so it kinda got to me that people thought I couldnt handle it. I had one person actually tell me what they wanted and when I started making my way to the house she told me "oh no thats ok I can get it" I mean what did she think that I was going to pull it out my arse! Just got frustrating, anyways so it seems that playing host doesnt even do the trick for me as of late.

[Alin Steglinski]

hey at least your seeing your friends. i am very very very limited in that because i still walk a little bit (10 ft unassisted mom helps me for under 30 ft and then its in the cheap-o airport style sling wheelchair, which sucks for my back) i cant wait to get a powerchair, doctor wont give me a prescription but SCREW the doctor, i know what i need in a powerchair. heres the one i quoted for me, dont know about the 4 way actuator control box i think the joystick controls the actuators so the total on there is high by 2,600 i already have 300 dollars in my fund for it so i need 22,700 more dollars and ill have my powerchair and independence! http://www.apparelyz...?showtopic=4370 there u can see the quote and stuff

This post has been edited by Alin Steglinski: 02 July 2007 - 11:44 PM

[Kit]

Lucydog, on Jul 3 2007, 12:11 AM, said:

Is it me or does this happen to others as well?

These days I NEVER get invited to friends houses, the assumption seems to be I cant get into their house or something similar, not that anyone ever really suggests it in the first place you understand. So anyway I seem to spend my life meeting friends in various accessible cafes, restaurants and other hostelries!! I dont mind most of the time, but it does get boring to say the least, and of course you lose the intimacy of visitng someones house and having a home cooked meal. Finally I realised the cost implication is horrendous!! Over the last 6 weeks alone Ive spent a small fortune in going out and seeing people. I do invite friends over pretty regularly but I also get fed up being the host all the time.

Anyone experience anything similar?

Lucy, your friends are probably trying to save you extra effort and embarrassment.
I'm terrible for panicing about whether doorways are wide enough, or there being steps etc as I know lack of accessibilty was one of the things my friend (she's a quad) never thought about when she was first injured but going some where only to find she couldn't go inside without help used to really upset and frustrate her.
I admit I'm more relaxed when she's the host or we go out to someplace that we know is fully wheelchair accessible and she says it makes her feel more normal to be able to do things under her own steam. She hates people staring and feeling sorry for her which certainly seems to happen if she has to be lifted up stairs etc when we are out.
I can see that going out or always being the host is both boring and costly and suggest you subtly mention to your friends that you wouldn't mind them being the host once in a while despite any accessibility problems as it's something you feel you are missing out on.

[Slowlegs]

Lucydog, on Jul 3 2007, 12:11 AM, said:

Is it me or does this happen to others as well?

These days I NEVER get invited to friends houses, the assumption seems to be I cant get into their house or something similar, not that anyone ever really suggests it in the first place you understand. So anyway I seem to spend my life meeting friends in various accessible cafes, restaurants and other hostelries!! I dont mind most of the time, but it does get boring to say the least, and of course you lose the intimacy of visitng someones house and having a home cooked meal. Finally I realised the cost implication is horrendous!! Over the last 6 weeks alone Ive spent a small fortune in going out and seeing people. I do invite friends over pretty regularly but I also get fed up being the host all the time.

Anyone experience anything similar?

Perhaps talk to your friends about it and any perceived access problems. Also, perhaps you could go for quality, not quantity. What I mean is that perhaps you could do dinner instead of a cafe and invite more friends. Dinners usually last longer and compared to cafes in my experience can be quite cheap. Not sure about your place but how about a barbecue or pot luck dinner? Everyone brings their own food and drink.

This post has been edited by Slowlegs: 27 August 2008 - 07:38 PM