im wondering if anyone can give me some support or advice to me on what to do. my friend has just had an accident less than two weeks ago and has broken his neck. at present no one seems to know what he is and is not gonna be able to do. i want to be able to support him although at present only contact we have is on the phone. im just wondering what helped all you positive guys get through the difficult times and how long it took for your swelling to go down as his swelling has not really gone down as of yet all though hopefully it is early days being 11 days. all that has happened is the food tube from his mouth to his stomach has been removed. also how long were you all tied down to the bed as he is still tied down to the bed.so many thoughts are going through me at present like hes to young, he doesnt deserve this, will he ever walk etc
Friend To Someone Who Has Got A Spinal Injury
#1 *Julie*
Posted 08 August 2005 - 11:09 PM
im wondering if anyone can give me some support or advice to me on what to do. my friend has just had an accident less than two weeks ago and has broken his neck. at present no one seems to know what he is and is not gonna be able to do. i want to be able to support him although at present only contact we have is on the phone. im just wondering what helped all you positive guys get through the difficult times and how long it took for your swelling to go down as his swelling has not really gone down as of yet all though hopefully it is early days being 11 days. all that has happened is the food tube from his mouth to his stomach has been removed. also how long were you all tied down to the bed as he is still tied down to the bed.so many thoughts are going through me at present like hes to young, he doesnt deserve this, will he ever walk etc
#2
Posted 09 August 2005 - 09:27 AM
Sorry to hear about your friend. Do you know which bone he broke in his neck? My son is C3/C4 and cannot move any of his limbs due to car accident, 17 years old. Has he any movement at all in his limbs? At this stage there should be some news for you even though it is very early. Can he breathe on his own or is he on a ventilator? Can you speak to any of his family as they will know what is happening. The swelling on his spine can takes weeks, if not months to go down but everyone needs to think positive at this stage. Even though it is early he will need to see his friends and speak with them or just to know that they are there for him. It really is a very slow process and can be very very hard to take it all in. 8 months on and my son is in Rehab but I still have very bad days. I try not to let him see me like that as he is nearly always in good form. I do not know how he does it. You can e-mail me at any time if you wish to discuss anything else, I may not know it all yet but I will try to answer your questions. Sorry for going on a bit!
Lynne
#3 *Julie*
Posted 09 August 2005 - 10:04 AM
Apparently in the first couple of days he could move one arm slightly but had no control and could move some toes but did not know which ones he was moving. he is breathing on his own fine and has had the tube from his nose to stomach removed which enables someone to feed him now which is one stage further. apart from that im unsure which actual bones he has broken but will have to find out. like your son he is also really positive aswell as telling everyone else to be positive. thanks Lynne for your kind advice and support.
#4
Posted 10 August 2005 - 08:27 PM
It really depends on where the break is, how severe the break is and any additional trauma at that site.
As a general rule, as you step down the vertabrae each level down roughly corresponds to a new set of nerves. Breaks high up in a neck usually result in a much greater loss of mobility, muscle or other motor controls. As breaks occur lower and lower down, the patient may have better control of their bodies. However, the severety of the break is equally important. A person that has a completely severed spine is much worse off than a person that has a pinched, or partially severed spine. In a partial case, the patient may have some feeling in some areas, but not in others. As swelling goes down, some pressure may be taken off some points and feeling may start to return. Lynne was asking the area of the break because that largely tells us what nerve paths could be affected by the accident.
I would caution reading too much into the situation before the full extent of the injury is understood as you may have better or worse recovery than what would be explained in these forums. Recovery may take weeks, or a number of years. Initial recovery in the first few weeks is often a good indicator of longer term recovery though. You may find the nurses checking nerve feelings for the first 2-4 weeks, and then less regularly after that.
I would hazard a guess that if your friend has some feeling at different parts of their body that the break is not a completely severed spine though. They may still have permanent damage to a number of nerve pathways though.
Common results of these types of severe injury are: Loss of control of muscle groups: stomach, legs. arms etc. Loss of control of bladder or bowels: Some body training may help regulate things like the bowels to a livable status.
If I could put in a word, just be their friend. The thoughts that run through the patients heads are often depression, panic, shame, etc. What they really need is just to have a friend around. Someone they can talk to about usual daily matters: sports/news/friends/work. What they probably don't need is someone commenting on how horrible they look, or all the bad things that could come out of the situation. I know that I hated to run through the accident I had, day after day, after day to multiple people. I wanted to hear about something, anything..other than my accident.
#5 *Guest*
Posted 10 August 2005 - 08:48 PM
#6
Posted 11 August 2005 - 09:45 AM
The break/s would have shown up on any x-rays/MRI scan that would have been done once your friend arrived in the hospital. I was told within 2 hours of my son getting into hospital. Has he had surgery to repair the neck yet? Your friend may not know everything just yet what is happening but his relatives will. Don't be afraid to ask questions here on this site somebody will know - it's amazing what I have found out by just reading the different forums.
#7 *Guest*
Posted 11 August 2005 - 09:26 PM
#8 *Guest_Anna*
Posted 20 September 2005 - 02:06 PM
My fiance had an accident in June 2004. His injuries have resulted in him being paralised from T6 down so he has no feeling from just above his belly button. The thing is, I only met him 6 days before his accident. Friends and family asked me if I knew what I was getting in to? I knew what I wanted and so I stood by him. I visited him as often as I could and believe me it wasn't easy as I used to live in the Isle Of Man so travelling was hard and money was tight. We spoke every day on the phone and text all the time.
The doctors didn't want to operate on him so they left his bones to fuse naturally, this meant he was lay in a bed on his back for 6 months, not able to move. I just acted normally around him as I understood he needed a friend more than anything. I saw the way his old mates reacted around him, they didn't know what to say, they just stood around the bed and stared around the room. For a long time I was the positive one and didn't let it get to me, of course in time I broke down and cried but, I felt better. It's hard when this happens to a bloke coz they have their male pride also and so think they are no longer a proper man. Thats not true!!!
In October last year Dale (my fiance) and I got engaged, we've never been happier. I just don't let things get to me. Dale has really down days where he just stays in bed or sits and wont talk but he comes round and it's early days yet. I just support him and stay positive. My advice is, it's going to be a long road for your friend and if you don't think you can cope with it tell him now. I've seen too many people walk out on others who have had accidents. Girls ditching their boyfriends, friends fading into the background and the upset it causes. Your friend really needs you as Dale needed me and we chose to work through it.
#9
Posted 19 November 2005 - 07:00 PM
So Sorry to hear about your friend...it takes time...being a good listener...patience...and being there for him. It`s only a very short time and it wil go on for quite a while yet...as other people have told you, once the doctors have given him another MRI and done their other various tests (and believe me they find them from everywhere!) then you will kind of know. I say "kind of" because NO ONE CAN TELL WHAT WILL HAPPEN and no doubt they have said much of the same thing. I can go on now and tell you of the wonderfull things that have happened, but, as you were told before every one is different. Just don`t let him give up...that is o so easy to do...just keep on in there and you will see the difference, it is not easy for you have your cry, but not in front of him, just don`t let him give in.
Good luck
Insaneirene13
#10 *Guest*
Posted 13 February 2006 - 09:52 PM
#11
Posted 01 November 2006 - 06:27 PM
#12
Posted 20 February 2007 - 12:12 AM
I have slowed down a lot now and mostly use a chair (not that I was ever fast) but at the age of 47 I feel burnt out. I manage to run two full time businesses, one as a DDA access auditor traveling all over the UK and another as a web directory designer and owner. I have found that two things get you through life with a serious sci.
1) Always keep your sence of humour.
2) Take that little bit of streangth you have a work like hell on it. Even the smallest reward is one massive plus in your life.
Robin
#13
Posted 01 August 2008 - 01:45 PM
The only advice I can give to you and your friend is just set yourselfs small achievable goals at first. Its something to aim for and when he's achieved it you'll both feel great; then set yourselves the next challenge.
Its not going to be easy, but life never is so good luck for the future.
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