A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to say how much better they could of done it!
Come on, let 'em flow!
Simon
0
Light Bulb Joke Thread
Started by
Apparelyzed
, Sep 16 2007 06:22 PM
4 replies to this topic
#1
Apparelyzed
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Posted 16 September 2007 - 06:22 PM
Q.How many Wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to say how much better they could of done it!
Come on, let 'em flow!
Simon
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to say how much better they could of done it!
Come on, let 'em flow!
Simon
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#3
Apparelyzed
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Posted 17 September 2007 - 08:15 AM
How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
Three — one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
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How many contract lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
WHEREAS, the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer”, and the party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb”, do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (North) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:
Section 1. The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.
Section 2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (”Receptacle”), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable federal, state and local statutes.
Section 3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part (”New Light Bulb”). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step Section 1 of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as the “Partnership.”
Three — one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.
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How many contract lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
WHEREAS, the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer”, and the party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb”, do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (North) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:
Section 1. The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.
Section 2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (”Receptacle”), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable federal, state and local statutes.
Section 3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part (”New Light Bulb”). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step Section 1 of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as the “Partnership.”
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#4
hockeydahc
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Posted 18 September 2007 - 03:04 AM
that personal injury one was too dang funny.
How many paras does it take to change a light bulb in the ceiling?
Just one, but needs a rocket, an evel knevil ramp, and quick reflexes
How many paras does it take to change a light bulb in the ceiling?
Just one, but needs a rocket, an evel knevil ramp, and quick reflexes
#5
wheeliebear75
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Posted 18 September 2007 - 03:17 AM
Hmmmm a ramp? Why did Evil Canevil finally injure his spinal cord with his umpteenth broken back? LOL
*Enjoy every sunset, but be grateful for every dawn.*
*Wheelchairs are made of a special ocular magnetic alloy......they're "eyeball magnets".*
*I USE a wheelchair, that does NOT make ME a wheelchair!*
*Wheelchairs are made of a special ocular magnetic alloy......they're "eyeball magnets".*
*I USE a wheelchair, that does NOT make ME a wheelchair!*
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