[PetitMortVampyre]

So, long story as short as *I* can ever make any post....

An ex BF from 11 years ago, finds my MySpace page, after having been told over 4 years ago, by a crowd I used to hang out with when I still lived in LA/OC (Southern Cali) that the cancer I have killed me. He suddenly had this feeling.. I am not dead after all, starts searching...

We have been communicating for a couple of months now, and last night, the man tells me, that he knows he (*&^%ed up (well younger members don't need to see me cussing!) all those years ago, and that he had turned his life around because the loss of me in his life, taught him to stop being a dumbtushie (edited) but by the time he coudl show me, he had been told I was dead. SO the man grieved, and was just.... unhappy that he had never gotten a chance to show me he had learned, changed, and grown up! And that while I have been in 3 serious relationships since we had broken up (oh and had died it seems) he had not really worked out his feelings over me...

Without saying it as I am well known to Rabbit (run away) he told me last night, his feelings for me, now, are the same as they were 11 years ago.. translation, he still loves me...

He changed his MySpace, told me to go look at it, that all the songs were for me... Richard Marx (a fav of mine back in the day, hell I still love the songs) Right Here Waiting is the song that plays when you load his page.... And the two Videos are Take This Heart (Richard as a Reds Player, against my A's oh no-no never had seen the vid) and Now and Forever...

Anyone think he's trying to tell me something else or am I just over reacting as females can be known to do? (Gets ready to run as fast as I can.. I am so not relationship material anymore....)

For those that do not know the songs... and are curious, or know the songs but cant recall the lyrics off hand, uh, you can try YouTube or just look up the lyrics, but this sap started crying.... Can I walk (ok hobble) into a relationship after all I have lost? Nevermind that he hurt me years before.

Sorry, just rambling, and sadly my best friend is on my MySpace and HE (the best friend) thinks he is in love with me, so I don't dare post this there, cause he will say *I TOLD YOU SO* and I hate that. Not every damn man in my life is after me, it just appears to be the ones that aren't married, gay or thankfully I am not their type... So thats about 80%... *Sighs* Misty Take me Away (play on Calgon take me away)

Sincerely
a very lost soul, bruised, and broken hearted and distrustful of every creature, most of all men (no offence to those men here on this forum)
Corvette aka RABBIT

[hockeydahc]

uh... wish I had someone after me. you seem to have 2. whats the problem?

[PetitMortVampyre]

hockeydahc, on Oct 2 2007, 12:55 PM, said:

uh... wish I had someone after me. you seem to have 2. whats the problem?

1. He hurt me, 2 the best friend is just, to me, my best friend, no interest for me there.... Um, Did you miss the broken hearted part?

And fine, I will chase after you, just roll slow, cause I can't hobble that fast!!!! But be warned, I do bite!!!!!! (What kind of vampyre would I be if I did not? ... a lousy one, heheheh)

[hockeydahc]

you could be the kind that uses a straw. a pointy one from a Capri Sun drink maybe.

theres that "friend" label. i understand it i guess, but biased against it.

if you're interested, go for it, if not, tell him it's not going to work out. both guys. why does it have to be complicated?

[Tim13]

So you had to have your friends tell him you were dead to get rid of him once and just because he figures out years later that you are alive, says he's "changed", posts a few old memories, you're thinking of taking him back?

Better either break it off fast or take things verrry slow-you realize he is not likely to buy another "she died" story, right?

good luck.

This post has been edited by Tim13: 02 October 2007 - 09:53 PM

[PetitMortVampyre]

Tim13, on Oct 2 2007, 02:53 PM, said:

So you had to have your friends tell him you were dead to get rid of him once and just because he figures out years later that you are alive, says he's "changed", posts a few old memories, you're thinking of taking him back?

Better either break it off fast or take things verrry slow-you realize he is not likely to buy another "she died" story, right?

good luck.

I DID NOT HAVE HIM TOLD I WAS DEAD, the &^%holes in southern cali thought I was dead, I have a brain tumor... have had it for a damn fricking long time... so they took it upon themselves, with NO INFO to tell him I was dead, just cause I was NO LONGER on the internet, and had dumped my AOHELL ACOUNT!

I would never f*&^ing have someone say I was dead...

Dammit.

Sorry I said a GDM******* thing. Sorry Simon (sighs)

[Tim13]

An ex BF from 11 years ago, finds my MySpace page, after having been told over 4 years ago, by a crowd I used to hang out with when I still lived in LA/OC (Southern Cali) that the cancer I have killed me. He suddenly had this feeling.. I am not dead after all, starts searching...

Ok, Ok, that wasn't clear from your original post. (i'm just as distrustful of the opposite sex as you are btw)

Is this better?

So an ex from over ten years ago shows up, says he's "changed", posts a few old memories, you're thinking of taking him back?

My advice would be to take things verry carefully.


good luck.

[juls]

I think I would give it a go...but slowly and on your terms.
If you're the one who has the upper hand then you will be less likely to be the one who ends up hurt..

With everything that's happened it might be nice to have someone in your life that loves you and thinks your a goddess
Keep us posted!!

[Texaswheelz]

I would think long and hard about why it didn't work in the first place. Sure, he said he has changed, but a lot of people say that but don't really change. Then it again both of you have changed a lot since then. It isn't going to be any where near the same, you've both grown as people and might now have any of the same interest now. The songs, while a nice touch don't really mean much imho. I could thing of the songs I listened to with just about every one of my gf's from 7th grade on up to my wife. Maybe he thinks things are going to be the same as when you were young and not as smart.

Rarely have I heard of these type of things actually work out, however my brother just passed his 2nd year of marriage and is 3 months away from his first child with his junior high gf. They went out in 7th and 8th(like 1995 I think) grade and then my parents moved away. Four years after he graduated high school(2000) they ran into one another again when he was back visiting family. They hit it off, stayed in touch and she eventually moved out to where he was living , that was 2004. So it does happen. But I also have a friend that tried to get back with a old high school and college flame after seeing her at our 10 year reunion a few years back. They were like teenagers again for a few months, and then the both realized that they had grown up and really didn't like each other then much, they have spoken to one another in 3 years. This coming Spring is going to be a fun 15th year reunion.

[nomis]

Great fun to meet with an old flame in these circumstances. Good drama and new understandings. Knowing you to be a lively person, I’m sure whatever you decide to do will be right.

[Jsec64]

My suggestion is that I think you have answered this scenario yourself.

Your Best Friend is just your best friend - So tell him that before he gets the wrong idea and you loose your best friend. The guy you have been speaking with online should understand that you need to feel secure and that time is needed. Trust has to be earnt ! Its only you who can decide when its been earnt.

God I should have my own column ( NOT )

Best of Luck

John

[rosebud]

Dear Petitmort,

OK.. men. Should you trust him? That seems to be your question more than if you love him? What is your gut feeling? I know you want to... As women we really crave the feeling of being loved and valued. And we deserve it, absolutely and unconditionally. Do we always get it? And why do we sometimes choose those who seem so unable to do so? Is it a desire to be the "one" to make it happen? Would that increase the worth of ourselves? (Way too philosophical!!)

He already hurt you once... maybe he will again. Maybe this time you will be the one to hurt him. The future is unknown. What is the risk of trying. (I know the heart can seem to take only so many bruisings, but we are more resiliant than we think!!) And finding real love to give and receive heals a lot. (I am an incurable romantic)

So step back from the incredible confusion of mixed emotions, decide what you want from this and what you are willing to risk.

If you do trust him, why not give it a go... But I agree, take your time if you do and give him a chance to show you what he is made of now. It's a tough call, on the one hand if you go into it halfheartedly and with too many doubts you set yourself and him up for failure. We are all too human, and it is really hard to change our ways, despite best intentions.

On the other hand, we only live once and the only time I have had regrets is from letting fear stop me from doing what I think is the right thing for me. So your call...what is the right thing for you? What do you want? And who do you really want it with?

Sorry there is no clear cut answer laid out. If only life were easier... and men more like us! They rarely seem to overthink relationships do they? (Sorry guys if that is too much of a generalization! No insult intended!!)

Good luck-keep us posted!

[HiltonP]

as a mere male, maybe . . .

a little less MySpace, video, song lyrics, YouTube, and
a little more face-to-face, real person, interaction

. . . might yield better long term results.

[dave420atya]

I agree with HiltonP.Just remember a dick is a dumb f***ing thing. It's got a head with no brians ,an eye that can't see, hangs around with 2 huts , lives around the corrner from an asshole, and it's bestfriend is a ,Well lets just say you got one vampyress. So, don't be fooled or tricked be the little head, cuz they don't change even if the big one claims to .
Trust your heart and your owne feelings.Some men will say any thing to get you to let your guard down. You have been there before with him so you know what he is all about already. Be careful , you'll never figure us out . Don't worry though we (men) are just as lost ,when it womes to the ladies. What do we need to do to get it "together"?

[PetitMortVampyre]

Thank you all for replying with your opinions, tho Hilton, I appreciate what you said, I have to say the MySpace was/is the most reliable (outside of here) way to ever find me, along with my cell phone. The myspace is how he found me, and how he has been attempting to tell me, most of the time, without telling me, because on the phone, I may respond wrong, he's hesitant to cause me to rabbit.

Rosebud, thank you so much, and welcome to the board.. I DO have a lot to think about.. I told him I have to take it one day at a time. I've been alive the whole time he thought I was dead.. so he didn't get *closure* but really I probably died inside after the last relationship went to hell without even the proverbial handbasket present. So while he is more in the past than I am... he's dragging me with! He wanted, to show me he had grown up, because of me, only to learn what he had. So he was devestated and I think he's running on *OMG she's alive, I can fix what I *&^%ed up...

Besides, he does not have long hair anymore *giggles insanely* so he may not stand a snowballs chance in hell... anyone that knows me, knows I love long haired men, its my, uh, hmmm, weekness/perversion? Just kidding I have dated a few (very few) short haired/bald headed men. I just love to hide behind the Long Hair requirement cause I am a brat. and if men can have whatever type of woman, as in large breasts (don't say it) long legs, blonde, redhead whatever, why can't women be particular too?

I only learned recently (last few years) I am worthy enough for that which I desire and I damn well get it, less he turns out to be married, then he's damn lucky I don't make sure he becomes buried!

I will watch him, he's going on 11 years ago, never having resolved his feelings, I had moved on, and am only on the sidelines. Its only been a little over 2 months since he found me, started calling and talking about seeing me, I mean hello, we may no longer have any *sparks* just because they were there 11 years ago.

Jsec, the best friend KNOWS he is only my best friend.. that I have no interest, but he still thinks he's my protector, and I just do not wanna hear I told you so, IF it goes, and then goes awry. I hate when he does that. Then again, who doesn't hate someone saying I told you so? And I have trust issues, story for another day (but we'll just cut it short and say my own parents cheated on eachother) Ty.

Texas, I can only recall certain songs, and really one serious relationships, so I am at a loss there, trust me, he remembers more than I do, it was 11 years ago, and 3 very serious relationships and a few, um, Corvette being naughty with the cute fellows, lol. Don't forget to take pics of the reunion! And I understand what you are telling me. Ty.

Nomis, hugs to you, heaven help us all, drama, I am lousy at that, but it follows me heh*winks*

Juls, I love you, thank you very much, for being my friend, and you are right, Goddess= him on his knees *evil laugh*

Tim, I will go slow, trust me there, just cause I am named after a fast car, doesn't mean I will be in a hurry, life being short or not!


And Dave? did you mean huts=nuts? Brian = brain? heheheheh Just teasing oh long haired yummy one (hmmm anyone have chocolate?) I know, behave Corvette, keep the fangs in, no biting the Newbies.

On one side note.... that I had not thought of, but about 3 or 4 years ago, some asshole called my father, and told him I had been in a car accident in Santa Clara County, with my oldest, and that I had died. The man on the phone (the one I am sure started the rumour I was dead) described my car down to the make/model/color/plate (Vanity plates) and just the fact I would have been at some point in santa clara, and I AM a lead foot... My dad had seen my car, when I drove to Texas... so he believed the man.. and the 1st, and only time I heard my father cry, when I finally answered my cell phone, tho I was at work and not allowed to cause he just kept calling.... he had confirmed I was not dead.

I know who did it, well, damn near 99.9% sure, now if I can just find out, without too much trouble, how the hell to get to him, for causing such pain. It had never occured to me, that the person would go out of their way to tell my dad... then I find out Bill heard from the southern cali group.... did not put 2 and 2 together til last night. Math is not my specialty, which makes figured out the daily dosage or estimated supply (1 week or 30 day supply) on some meds when the damn doctor didn't write it out for me.... or if he did, we cant READ IT!

This post has been edited by PetitMortVampyre: 03 October 2007 - 11:55 PM

[darrel]

hey, I'm sorry I haven't got on this thread, I figured you had enough dealing with men so, I was a typical male and stayed away till you calmed down or figured it out. Idid not want to put my 2 cents in for I know how emotions are and I didn't want to hyrt your fealings... there is a reason why we call them an "EX" and no matter what they did it is human nature to follow your foot steps, what I mean is that if a man cheats on his wife and leaves her for the one, he will eventually do it again. I grew up in an abusive house my mother was beat by her husband this went on till I was about 9yr she kept alowing him back till he almost killed her that is when she finally had enough. after that she married one other time he turned out to be a hussler.(my hatered for liers,cheaters). alway remember there are more fish in the ocean,just watch out for the sharks.... by the way thanks for your reply..
darrel

[megatrig]

hmmmmmmmmmm........... In brief .. well sometimes you just can't win .. men and women!!

You only get one shot in this life so either go for it or write him off as a xxxxxxxx

and find ... ok I can't believe I am going to use this phrase!!...........

The hero and drop the zero!!

pleassssssssssse forgive me for using it!!

Seriously though .. sorry you got so hurt! I think we have all been there at some point!!

and hope it all works out

big hugs

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[PetitMortVampyre]

megatrig, on Oct 4 2007, 03:45 AM, said:

hmmmmmmmmmm........... In brief .. well sometimes you just can't win .. men and women!!

You only get one shot in this life so either go for it or write him off as a xxxxxxxx

and find ... ok I can't believe I am going to use this phrase!!...........

The hero and drop the zero!!

pleassssssssssse forgive me for using it!!

Seriously though .. sorry you got so hurt! I think we have all been there at some point!!

and hope it all works out

big hugs

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LOL omg have not heard that one in a while.. ty 'trig, and darrel

Much love to you all... I think my mind may have wandered elsewhere, anyway lol.

[john S.]

When I read these stories I think how lucky I am. I was so injured I didn't know my girlfriend from my great aunt. All erased. What little I did remember still doesn't make sense. A look in the mirror a few months after my accident and, well, lets say I understand why my gf never made a big fuss and didn't want to stick around.
I'm so amazed at you folks that have people that love you and your afraid!?
I'd be stunned if anyone even mildly acted like they'd want to talk. If my aides weren't paid to come here they'd avoid me like the plague.
I've had 32 years of solid lonely. I've discovered that I'm the only person that isn't disgusted by the sight of me and no, I don't own a mirror.
I had the same aide for 8 years. I helped her kids with homework. I loaned her money. I knew she didn't love me but I let myself think I had a friend. I helped her get through college and get a good job. She left swearing to come back and talk. She left and stepped off the earth.
And before you think that youd never do a thing like that, in 32 years no aide has ever stopped back to see me ever.
I haven't even got a reference point on your problem.
Jehovah's wittnesses won't come in and talk.

I sure wish you luck with your problem cause I really can't imagine what I'd do if someone wanted to be around me.
john