7 replies to this topic

[Elzeen]

I'm a newbie to this forum but not to SCI - T12 complete for 31 years.

This is a wonderful forum - kudos to the originators and the participants! I have read some posts here that educated, touched, and inspired me. I hope to get to know you and contribute to the community here.

My husband (AB) and I have been having some serious discussions about aging with SCI and what that will mean for me and us. Questions about caregiving, quality of life, and just how to manage as we both get older. I will be 60 years old next month. That and the recent fall that resulted in a broken leg have got us thinking about what things will be like as we get older.

Any advice or sharing of experience would be very welcome. Thank you!

[LadyPilot]

Elzeen, on Oct 13 2007, 07:48 AM, said:

I'm a newbie to this forum but not to SCI - T12 complete for 31 years.

This is a wonderful forum - kudos to the originators and the participants! I have read some posts here that educated, touched, and inspired me. I hope to get to know you and contribute to the community here.

My husband (AB) and I have been having some serious discussions about aging with SCI and what that will mean for me and us. Questions about caregiving, quality of life, and just how to manage as we both get older. I will be 60 years old next month. That and the recent fall that resulted in a broken leg have got us thinking about what things will be like as we get older.

A warm welcome to you Elzeen!
You are correct about Simons superb site and the wealth of information available.

You should find someone here who can answer any questions you may have.

I'm approaching 26 years post injury but am still in my 40's. My husband refuses to discuss what will happen when I get to the point of needing to be cared for!!!

[nomis]

I'm coming up to 60 soon too, Elzeen.
Nothing like a broken leg to remind oneself of vulnerabilities.

Like you, I think it's sensible to begin planning for our ultimately mature years. I'm aware that a lot of ageing people pretend it's not happening, as though they are too afraid to discuss it. Pity.

I'm getting around to simplifying my life - getting rid of what I don't need, updating home equipment so that everything that is supposed to work does work and going ahead with pursuing interests - building up my music collection, etc.

I know I haven't a hope of controlling the future so I'm not going to think too much about it. Whatever happens will happen and I'll deal with it at the time. Otherwise I'd be trying to cover the impossible with lots of needless worry.

My next move (it's spring here in New Zealand) is to build (with family help) a new raised vegetable garden. It's going on the front lawn. That'll cut down on mowing worries plus give me fresh veggies without having to go out for them. Just trying to do whatever makes life simpler.

Edited by nomis, 13 October 2007 - 07:29 AM.

[McRobb]

Welcome to the forum! I found this site several months ago and think it is the best one on the web - or at least the ones that I have looked at.

I was 53 when I became a para from an auto accident. That was 3 1/2 years ago and my has my life changed! We had to make lots of decisions after my rehab on what we were going to do with our home and about everything else.

After 3 years of remodeling and working on things, we have most of our house situated so that I can get along fairly independently. But, like you, I wonder what happens as we age and need more and more assistance. And, like you, we have not really discussed what would happen "if" ... and the if's are numerous.

I guess that we have decided without voting to maintain as best we can and when the "if's" happen, we will figure out a way to deal with them. Better that than worrying ourselves over things that we cannot change. We are working hard to enjoy our grandchildren while they are little and do what we can to make our life productive and worth living. I trust God to take care of the unknown and the future.

I admire you being proactive and thinking ahead and feel that we have done as much of that as we can but now it is time to smell the roses and that is what I am trying to do.

Best wishes to you.

[Elzeen]

Thanks, all, for the welcome! It's great to hear the thoughts on this from you all.

My tendency is to let things take their course and deal with changes as they happen. At the same time, and without laying specific plans, I am trying to think out all the what-ifs and options.

It is encouraging to have found a place where I can get some support while doing that!

Nomis - I like your strategy of simplification! That has been occurring naturally as our last of 4 children left the nest last fall.

[darrel]

I know I have not been with this injury that long, but I am 44yrs and I do have to admit that I am terified of the future. my plans were of being AB and retiring at 60, not now. so I can understand were you might be coming from

[milosh]

i'm still in my 20's, but a quad the most of my life.

aging is an issue for SCI and AB alike.

what we all must do in our young years is to secure a safe 3rd age. being broke & sick old fart is not so cool for neither an AB nor a SCI.

my paternal grandma lived till 78 and had brain attack for 14 years. she was a half-paralysed.

what we must secure is to rely as less as possible on our loved ones. a carer/domestic helper is even what ABs at their late age tend to have.

the most important is taking care of our health at younger age.

[nomis]

milosh, on Oct 18 2007, 09:45 AM, said:

i'm still in my 20's, but a quad the most of my life.
...the most important is taking care of our health at younger age.

Quite right, milosh. Interesting to hear that from someone in their 20s. At 59 now I'm appreciating how important that is. Unfortunately, you can't expect to cover all bases so I think it wise to be prepared for the unexpected as we age.

The older we get it seems the less easily we accept change. But it is change that keeps us interested in life.

Not all 'bad things' that happen are all bad. Lose your sight or your hearing and it is very scary. But it also takes you into a new way of experiencing life. We don't know till we get there what it is like and whether it has an upside.

If we fear growing older we are already doomed. Fear is the enemy, not age.

Edited by nomis, 17 October 2007 - 11:34 PM.