[silone74]

Hi, feeling abit down at the moment i was wondering who if any 1 you talk to to try and help you through the down times that sometimes affect us? I find that people closest to me are not the right people to talk to not that they dont care just some times they are too close does that make sense? I seem to be worse when i am feeling ill I have a cold at the moment nothing really but it changes the way I think for some reason I tend to get into a more deeper mood and stuff goes round in my head more than normal does any 1 else get like this when they are not feeling 100%? It has taken me ages to get the will to get up today but have to to look after my dog she helps actually more than i realise, living alone like i do has many benifits for me to be able to live as normal as posible just not the way i used to live which i miss.

I dont want to seem a misserable git it seems only when i am ill i get like this.
Hope it is ok to post this I dont want to seem like i am moaning over nothing?


Silone74

[Elzeen]

Silone -

I think society makes us afraid of that perception - "moaning over nothing." We are supposed to buck up and make the best out of our lives after they have been changed by SCI.

But there are times when disability can be overwhelmingly sad or frightening or frustrating. Although I am fortunate to have a husband who understands a lot about my internal struggle with disabilty, I mostly get through those dark times alone.

I think the good folks on this forum can help during those difficult times.

[Somebody]

I'm sorry you're down. {hugs}

Life isn't easy. Period for anyone.

I couldn't make it without God.
Give it all to God, and let him carry your burden.

If you have cable.
Check out TBN.
There's alot of help there.

I have a several christian web sites that can help you.

Here's a great one.

http://www.crosswalk...ement/11558210/

[nomis]

Hi silone74
When I’m feeling miserable with the flu or something that’s not really a big deal I let myself feel miserable and grumpy for a day or maybe two days. I’m not good company at those times for anyone (I’m a classic sooky) and it’s fortunate that nowadays I live on my own.

But whenever I’m feeling down, I want to know what the reason behind it is? I’ll let my miserable mood swirl around while I try to understand what is going on. Sometimes I might use a friend as a sounding board but usually not till I’ve got a grip on what is happening. I find other people don’t help me learning about the problem – they are too busy trying to make me happy.

So, maybe you’re miserable because that’s how you feel when you’re ill. And/or there’s something your mind is trying to reveal to you. It mightn’t be something you want to know about (like the pain for some past loss or a need for more social contact) but it’s something important to you.

[juls]

Hi Silone
I get down every now and then..I think I go through little patches where I'm not quite sure why i'm down but can't seem to shake the feeling. When i'm like this I talk to other friends that I have that are in chairs..they get how i'm feeling and we use each other to vent when we need to..it really helps having someone that understands...
I don't talk to close family/friends or my partner..they all expect me to be happy and bubbly all the time..
So, you can always talk to us on here..we'll always be here for you

[Ches]

Time alone is always useful when y ou feel like shit. If you just wanna lay there and dwell in your misery, f*@k it. Do it. Just dont let it get the best of you. Everyone has bad days, not just SCI's. You gotta remember that. You're entitled to your right to feel like shit.

I wouldnt give up on the ones surrounding you so fast, although their peppy attitudes can get annoying. Those people know you best, they know your worth and value. They know YOU. Not your chair. No one wants to see someone they love upset. Thats a struggle for everyone, they aren't babying you because you're in a chair. They just care!

When I feel like shit I usually just take sometime to myself. Cry, if I need to. Break something if that helps. Then about half an hour later Im ready to go smoke a cig and chat with my pals about whats bothering me. Kinda like Nomis said. Once I can express those feelings I have no problem sharing them.

SCI's are what they are. Things get shitty, things can get gross, and things can definitly be 'embarassing'. But it's just what it is. Its not your fault.

Hope you get to feeling better!

[silone74]

Thank you for your comments I realise that every day people feel down over 1 thing or another and alot of the time I deal with it on my own it is only the times I take my frustrations out on the people closest to me that i really hate and I know they all meen well and care about me and want the best for me but some times trying to tell some 1 to back off and leave me 2 it makes things worse i think it is the way i tell them to leave me be but when i feel this way out not thinking before opening my mouth first is a big problem,and at this moment i could happily dissapear for abit and not tell any 1 where i am i know this sounds selfish and the people that have been there and are still here for me would be devastated, this stops me from doing this i know that the feeling will pass and since finding this forum and looking through older posts has help, the forum is full of great people, genuine people, and i can honestly say some of the posts have made me laugh and some cry, some hit home more than any person i have talked to i have not had alot of advice since leaving hospital but i find on here most if not all questions can be answered, i am looking at why i am down and maybe there are underlying issues that i can try and sort out, i would like to say that the short time i have been on this forum and not knowing any1 i still think of here as being a friend to me.

Thank you for the replies again.


Silone74

[cate]

silone74, on Nov 11 2007, 09:55 PM, said:

Thank you for your comments I realise that every day people feel down over 1 thing or another and alot of the time I deal with it on my own it is only the times I take my frustrations out on the people closest to me that i really hate and I know they all meen well and care about me and want the best for me but some times trying to tell some 1 to back off and leave me 2 it makes things worse i think it is the way i tell them to leave me be but when i feel this way out not thinking before opening my mouth first is a big problem,and at this moment i could happily dissapear for abit and not tell any 1 where i am i know this sounds selfish and the people that have been there and are still here for me would be devastated, this stops me from doing this i know that the feeling will pass and since finding this forum and looking through older posts has help, the forum is full of great people, genuine people, and i can honestly say some of the posts have made me laugh and some cry, some hit home more than any person i have talked to i have not had alot of advice since leaving hospital but i find on here most if not all questions can be answered, i am looking at why i am down and maybe there are underlying issues that i can try and sort out, i would like to say that the short time i have been on this forum and not knowing any1 i still think of here as being a friend to me.

Thank you for the replies again.


Silone74

Hi Silone
We all go throught the feelings, even us that are ab's. it is not just for sci or other problems, so many of us have things we have to work around. always remember the one's that are closest to us, are the people that can be used as a kicking board. we do try to understand and take it. There are times, when we need to be alone with our thoughts and work throught the darkness on our own,
Darkness and depression will lift so do not give yourself a hard time on top of things
Cate

[kewlcatkez]

Silone74,

The others have given you sterling advice. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, that we all go through periods of feeling down, some of us more than others. Sometimes I feel worse in the winter, darker days months. Perhaps its the lack of sunshine. I'm not sure I have SAD, but I do know that I look forwards to the sunshine and brighter ( even in the UK!) days.

Other than that I have periods where I have low mood and cannot put my finger on why. Other times it is because of an anniversary (disability, someone's death). Sometimes the state the world seems to be in is enough to be the icing on the cake.

Many times my low mood may be related yo something I can no longer do.

The thing is that mostly these times are transient and relatively short lived in the scheme of things. I truly believe that each of us has coping mechanisms and ways of approaching our own funk. So I don't want to preach to the converted so to speak. Just want to say that yes, there is always someone here to vent to, talk with and empathise.

I hope that you figure out what is causing this low time in particular, and that will help to get you on an even keel so to speak,

Take care,

K