[Kimi]

Hey all,

I am actually a social work student studying to be a therapist (specializing in Marriage and Family therapy).

Please enlighten me on ways you feel you have been underserved emotionally or mental health wise and/or with resources post-injury. I really want to be able to help when I get out of school but am stuggling to find resources that serve SCIs.

While my best friend has really helped me understand what she has gone though after her injury, I would like to know how others have stuggled.

[Avocado Baby]

Hi there,

I really don't want to hijack this post but I also don't want to start another one the same as it's relevant

I have a congenital disability rather than an SCI so, my situation is different but in my experience, if you appear to be coping, you're pretty much left on your own. I had a spinal fusion to extend my fusion to T8, which has descreased my mobility quite alot. As I am now unable to twist, I have had to change the way I do alot of things like dress and do transfers. I've had about an hour with an OT while I was in hospital and no further advice since then. Another problem that I have (which I've posed on is the fact that I can no longer get from the floor to my chair when I fall out anymore. I have an alarm to press but this only calls my parents. Does anyone know of any independent people I could call to come and help me in this situation? I'm in the UK.

This brings me to my next point and what I was going to post about originally The emotional/mental health side of it. I actually took an overdose in July this year (mainly due to recurring pain, which surery didn't help) but it was also down to guilt about having to rely on other people all the time. This is something that I've fallen out with my parents over (mainly my mum) lots of times over the years.

The most recent was last Tuesday when I had to call her at 7.10 am because I'd fallen between my bed and my chair and couldn't get up. I'd had an accident over night, which really wasn't helping and also ruled out calling my neighbour, who is really helpful. Anyway, she came over and immediately started yelling at me about the state of my flat (she's stupidly tidy and houseproud...imagine Monica from Friends but worse) No question as to whether I'd hurt myself or if I was ok. All this while I'm sitting on the floor. Ok, I can deal with her moaning about untidiness etc, I'm used to it but the line that hurt me was 'Well, you expect me to do things for you, but you won't do things for me.' Ok...so, I expect her to do things for me i.e help me up off the floor when Ive accidentally fallen over and am unable to get up again, in return for me keeping my flat, which I pay for, immaculately clean and tidy.

I spoke to my dad about it and he said that that wasn't the real issue behind it but rather the fact that they feel they have to be on call for me all the time in case I need them so, they can't do anything.

This makes me feel unbelievably guilty and kicks my self-esteem even lower than it was. Not like I didn't know that that's how they feel. It just hurts everytime I hear it again!!

I've gone off on one...sorry. Just wondering if anyone else feels like this? What can I do?

Thanks

P.S I'm in an even worse mood as I'm waiting for an emergency plumber to come and fix my blocked toilet for the 3 rd time in 3 days and I'm really, really tired!!

[Avocado Baby]

I just wanted to add that I'm not proud of the fact that I overdosed and I wish I hadn't done it. I know it was selfish.

[Joed]

I feel that my physical needs were well addressed, although my insurance didn't cover the physical therapy for as long as I'd have liked.

I sure could've used some emotional support though. I agree with Pink Ali...if you seem to be coping well, then that's that. At rehab, the policy is that each SCI patient receives a visit from the resident psychologist. It was determined that I had no depression, etc. But that was while I was in a controlled and supportive environment. But when you finally get to go home, the stresses can be overwhelming...especially if you have young children and an unsupportive and immature spouse. It can really sap the spirit right out of you.

Pink Ali....I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. Those who give with strings attached can add a cruel burden to what is already a difficult challenge to overcome. I hope things are much better for you now in that respect.

[ryan08/06/88]

I've been pretty good emotionally and mentally really...

Obviously when I was first told I wouldn't walk again I was pretty distraught although to be honest I guess I maintained this hope that things would turn around...

On another occassion while on bedrest I coudl hear the guy next to me talking about function he had regained and this made me coem out with some stuff to my family...

I was actually jealous of him and questioning "why me." Then I also came out with a story abotu another boy at school who had crashed his moped drinking about a month before I crashed mine and he had been fine...had a little cry...told my parents how I felt and then felt a bit better again...

The toughest moment came the second time I got out of bed when I went to go outside and there was a slight lip...I couldn't get up it unaided at the time and I just felt useless and actually said to my auntie there and then I migth as well be dead...

That evening soem girls from school came up to visit and asked how I was and I put on a brave face, made out how great it was to be able to get out of bed etc. And this made me realise a few things...Mainly that there was no way I could live life feeling sorry for myself and that I should focus ont he positives...nad it worked really...

Coming out of hospital was tough...and frustrating...especially as they wouldn't adapt my house and still havent 2 years on...but I see the positive side of that which is I'm now used to a normal unadapted property so it's no shock to the system if I'm thrown into the situation at all...

For the first year I pretty much jsut got drunk with friends all the time...I was 17 at the time so I guess you coudl say that's normal, altjhough there wasd definitley a bit of a coping element there I think...

Nowadays I don't tend to get down abotu my "disability" at all but more over every day things like girls and family problems...

Every now and then for a split second I'll think for f*@ks sakes I wish I wasn't in a wheelchair...like I thought it earlier on...but it's mainly because of things that are going on right now...and if I hadn't had my acciddent a lto fo things would be different...Like today I drove through soemwhere where me and my mates used to go and mess around on our mopeds whihc made me think...

Partly because there's a girl I'm kinda close to who's having family problems and stuff and I've got attached to her emotionally...and I was thinking about her problems as I drove through this place so thought if I hadn't had my accident I woudl ahve no worries I guess...I know it doesn't make a greta deal fo sense but it does to me...

anyways sorry for waffling haha!