44 replies to this topic

[McRobb]

It will be 4 years in May since our accident and I can't say that I have been devestated by things.

I admire all the posts on this question from people who are "can do" people and guess that most of you have lived your entire life before your SCI with that same attitude. People like that just want to know the situation and then figure out how to best deal with it and get on with what needs to be done - that is the kind of person that I have always been. If I fall apart, it is short lived and after the crisis has passed and then I put that away and go on with life. I must say that I admire people who live their lives that way and have always tried to do that with my life.

Once in a while, the frustration and the realization of what I will never be able to do will sink in and I have a good cry and then move on. It took me two years for the first time to hit me - I was in my yard and rolled under my weeping willow tree and let the branches flow over my face like they used to do when I mowed my yard. I always loved doing that when I mowed and it suddenly hit me that I would never be able to mow my yard again. So, I sat there and cried while the breeze caressed my face with the willow branches. Was miserable by when I write it, it sounds rather poetic, I must say.

Well, "Momma said there'd be days like this..." right? Hang tough everyone and Merry Christmas.

[Abdifatah28]

I remember having a big cry and thinking this can't be happening to me that was six years and I still have periods where I hate my chair more than anything in my life. The thing is though the majority of time I'm fine I get on with my life.

[wheeliebear75]

I went through a roller coaster of emotions there for a while....but I'm good now.

[A trophy guy]

Full and complete acceptance of this body, for me, is a life-long lesson.

[pistol_pete]

I love it when a thread can suddenly be ressurected after four years in deep space hibernation.
It must be a very happy thread now that people are reading it again.

I like its upbeat tone. I can relate to a lot of this.
I didn't lose it in the hospital ward when they told me about the not walking thingy.
(I had a bad day when they told me about the orgasm thingy, or lack there of)
It was by no means easy and there were moments,

Just got on with it. Bit of mild depression when I got home, but sorted that out.

Life can suck in a chair but in many ways my life is better now.

This is a good thread for struggling people to read.

[isobar]

We're all different as you know and cope with life situations differently maybe in some way you're protecting yourself .......... stand ashored you'll freak out if and when it comes. Whatever the case hopefully you wont be alone as you go throough your ordeal.

[Nicus]

I lost it when they told me in rehab to shave my groin and arm area and get 'cut' for health reasons. It was like they wanted to take away my manly hood. But got over it because 'n found out they were just lazy.

The physical aspect is just to never get too comfortable in your comfort zone as when that changes your mind starts to breed doubt and depression. My penny in the well of wisdom.

Edited by Nicus, 12 November 2011 - 03:59 PM.

[Ratticis]

Pretty sure if it was gunna happen to the OP, it happened by now

[qbounce]

Ratticis, on 12 November 2011 - 07:21 PM, said:

Pretty sure if it was gunna happen to the OP, it happened by now

Well, he didn't post anything, so . . . . who knows?

Totally agree, Pete, regarding resurrecting old threads like this one!

[Raspberry]

pistol_pete, on 12 November 2011 - 12:11 PM, said:

I love it when a thread can suddenly be ressurected after four years in deep space hibernation.
It must be a very happy thread now that people are reading it again.

I like its upbeat tone. I can relate to a lot of this.
This is a good thread for struggling people to read.

Agree with those sentiments, and to that end, here's my input!

I didn't even know I was paralysed when I came round from my induced coma, but the oddest thing is - during my coma dreams, or morphine induced hallucinations, whatever - I always had the greatest difficulty getting around and about, which I couldn't understand, obviously! In most of my dreams/hallucinations, I spent almost all of my time stationary, with people treating me oddly & giving me funny looks! So, my brain obviously 'knew'...

Once I did know I was paralysed from the chest down, it was just "Oh, OK...", followed by trying to work out what it actually meant. I've always been a 'Play the cards you're dealt' kinda guy, so this 'situation' was just a 'bad hand' alright, but still one that had to be played.

I didn't find out I'd never walk again till I'd been back in the UK a month or so - the medical staff out in Luxembourg hadn't mentioned it (maybe as a mental kindness?), but the Consultant at Odstock just looked at me aghast when I asked him "How long before I walk again?" When he said "You won't", all kinda blunt like, I vowed to go back and kick him up the backside when I recovered, cos I confidently expected to defy medical science! (I eventually gave up on that notion after 5 years)

I did have the odd bad time as it sank in, and occasionally since, of course, but I used a technique that I'd been recommended to try when I went through my unhappiest marriage breakdown (There's only been 2, before you think I'm a serial masochist ) - I allowed myself half-an-hour 'Crying time' every day, during which I'd concentrate on getting out all the grief & misery & loss I was feeling, before carrying on the other 23 1/2 hours a day in my usual happy-go-lucky, positive way.

As it turned out, I didn't use much of it at all - I'm lucky to have always had a "positive mental attitude", so that I just didn't think/feel there was much point wasting time over 'what was', when I could be getting on with 'what is', and working out solutions to the new 'challenges' I was facing up to. As we all know, it's crap, obviously, of course, but - whaddyagonnado? Sit and mope? Or get on with it?

I chose life.

[Priority Seatin]

I've had a few "waves" of being okay with being paralyzed and not.

The first wave I got was the moment I finally felt comfortable using a wheelchair. Maybe "comfortable" isn't the right word, but basically it was the moment when I no longer felt weird about using my arms for wheeling.

The second wave was when my network of friends settled down. Some long-time friends left because they couldn't handle having a friend in a wheelchair (or got tired of the hassle involved, ie. making sure we hang out at accessible places or helping me into their inaccessible homes). After the dust settled and I got a good look at who soldiered through and stayed behind, it was good to know that for some, they don't care if you're paralyzed or not.

The third wave, which is certainly going to come, will probably be the moment I find a job with an employer that doesn't look at my disability and assume weird things or be discriminatory. I know another wheelchair user (who has SMA) whose employer's offices aren't even accessible but they interviewed him at a coffee shop and hired him for a work-from-home position (with the occasional business meeting, again at accessible coffee shops). Stories like those give me hope.

Of course, not everyone will have "waves" like these.

[happywheels 88]

Good on you funklab! I'm wondering too, it's coming up 8 months since my accident and I'm happy as larry, just cracking on with things. In fact, it's so funny, after my crash in hospital, I knew I was now a paraplegic even before they told me (duh) and there is a old joke that came into my head about a guy who got wounded in war, waking up in hospital screaming histerically doctor i can't feel my legs! And the doctor replied, that's because we've cut off your arms! I looked at my hands and just started giggling loudly, the nurse that was in the room at the time thought i was stark raving mad when she asked me whats so funny and i told her the joke, well i probably am. Keep up the positive attitude!

[Cathelena]

Have never really had a freak out. But the closest i came was when i came home from rehab which also coincided with me coming out of denial that i would make a miraculous recovery and walk again, but this just consistedof days of crying and feeling extremely sorry for myself.

[Inkd760]

Closing in on 9 months here since my motorcycle accident and no freak out yet. The hardest part for me was coming home from rehab, and like it was already said home was so unfamiliar and I didnt fit in places or reach things. Being home was all I looked forward to in rehab but at the same time the reality of everything hit when I got home, rehab was safe and comforting because I was surrounded by nurses and doctors It was scary being home. I got depressed and cried alot for like a month then I snapped out of it and realized that I couldnt change my situation but I could make the best of it. I powered through my outpatient rehab and hit the gym and got stronger and have recently started driving again. Keep on fighting and look at the good left in life because things could still be worse than they are now. Ill never like being a chair or not walking, but I still love life.