Quadriplegic & Paraplegic Spinal Cord Injuries: Never Having Kids - Quadriplegic & Paraplegic Spinal Cord Injuries

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Never Having Kids How do you feel? Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   aaaa 

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 05:14 AM

How do you feel about never having kids, because I'm hurt.
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#2 User is offline   Illinois Boy 

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Post icon  Posted 12 December 2007 - 05:21 AM

You can have mine................










Just kidding.

Sorry to here that..

Jim

For Those About To Rock, I Salute To You......
My Store Click on ads at bottom of my site please....
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#3 User is offline   nomis 

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 09:25 AM

View Postaaaa, on Dec 12 2007, 06:14 PM, said:

how do u feel about never havein kids cause im hurt


Yeah, that's a hurtful thought.

I gave up on having kids of my own and took up an interest in the kids and new babies of friends. Fortunately, I had friends going through that stage of life (which both hurt and rewarded me). One couple I got particularly close to and i was very involved as chief baby sitter for their new daughter.

But my world changed. I got into a relationship, discovered there was a chance of fatherhood with a bit of medical intervention (massager > centrifuge sperm > artificial insem.) and hey presto I ended up having a son.

What I'm saying is that you don't know your future. You may or may not become a father. Keep your options open.
Stephen Hawking, physicist, cosmologist and something of a dreamer:
Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer, in my mind I am free.
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#4 User is offline   Joed 

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Post icon  Posted 12 December 2007 - 02:42 PM

I prayed for a child for 20 years, went through several infertility surgeries and treatments with no results. As I became older, the adoption agencies began to focus more on my disability and age than my ability to be a good parent. I felt I had missed that elusive 'window' and time had run out for me. The thought of never being able to experience being a mother was so saddening, I couldn't even bear to watch diaper commercials anymore.

Then, one night it all changed. I won't go into all the details here, but two months later we were bringing home our new son. The events that brought us to that point were nothing short of miraculous. I had given up, resolved to the fact that I'd never be a mother, yet when I wasn't looking....it happened, in spite of myself!

Yeah, they tell me that it was the nurse who handed my son to me, but I know it was God Himself.

Be encouraged and explore all your options. I wish you well. :cheers:
* * * * * * * * *

Female. Incomplete para following a cord stroke in '03. Spina-bifida, severe scoliosis. 18 surgeries total...five spine-related: Three fusions w/hardware, two tethered cord releases.
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#5 User is offline   HiltonP 

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 03:07 PM

There are 6-billion people on this planet.

I don't see the need to increase that figure!
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#6 User is offline   cdngrl 

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 04:21 PM

OUCH that's harsh
with today's technology why wouldn't you be able to have kids?
why do you feel that you can't achieve great things?
not to sound like an arse but maybe, you should get yourself together before taking responsibility of those who you are to be a mentor/teacher to.
Life is one long insane trip. Some people just have better directions.
Keepin' it wheel
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#7 User is offline   alyssa 

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 05:27 PM

View Postcdngrl, on Dec 12 2007, 11:21 AM, said:

OUCH that's harsh
with today's technology why wouldn't you be able to have kids?
why do you feel that you can't achieve great things?
not to sound like an arse but maybe, you should get yourself together before taking responsibility of those who you are to be a mentor/teacher to.


:cheers: couldnt agree more.
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#8 User is offline   Elzeen 

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Posted 13 December 2007 - 03:55 AM

There are many ways to have children. Don't shut that door yet.
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#9 User is offline   Cheshire 

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Posted 20 December 2007 - 03:58 AM

I had actually been toying with the idea of getting myself "fixed" pre-injury. I'm kinda annoyed at the decision being made FOR me...at least as far as I know. I've no idea if I'm capable of getting someone pregnant or not at this point. It would actually be something of a relief if I couldn't. Like I said, the only annoying bit is that I feel like I kinda got pushed on the decision. :help:
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#10 User is offline   Illinois Boy 

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Post icon  Posted 20 December 2007 - 04:31 AM

I have some Grandkids I'll loan you.....

3 hours with them, and you might change your mind....

Still kidding,

Those other suggestions by others (But One) are good advice.........

Jim

For Those About To Rock, I Salute To You......
My Store Click on ads at bottom of my site please....
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#11 User is offline   xeena 

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Posted 25 December 2007 - 03:38 PM

Kids are a blessingand you can have them. Have faith and look at your options,never give up.
Merry Christmas.
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#12 User is offline   linda 

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Posted 26 December 2007 - 02:43 PM

My daughter is only 22 years old she said she never wants to have a biological child of her own, she feels there are already to many people in the world. My daughter is going to have her tubes tied soon, when she is ready for a child she plans to adopt one.
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#13 User is offline   KimAndSophie 

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Posted 26 December 2007 - 08:50 PM

View Postlinda, on Dec 26 2007, 09:43 AM, said:

My daughter is only 22 years old she said she never wants to have a biological child of her own, she feels there are already to many people in the world. My daughter is going to have her tubes tied soon, when she is ready for a child she plans to adopt one.


Wow, that's pretty young to make that kind of decision! This is just my opinion, but I think she should consider something less "invasive" and something "reversable" just in case she has a change of heart. After adopting a child she might want to have a biological one after taking care of a baby etc. She could take the Depo shot. It's a form of birth control shot that is given in the arm or hip area every 3 months. It has a higher success rate than other birth control and if she ever decides on having a child on her own she can just stop the shot. But, like I said that's just what I think.

Having said that, I really want to have kids of my own, but if that don't happen for some reason I would definetly adopt.
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#14 User is offline   kashley 

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Posted 26 December 2007 - 09:35 PM

View Postlinda, on Dec 26 2007, 08:43 AM, said:

My daughter is only 22 years old she said she never wants to have a biological child of her own, she feels there are already to many people in the world. My daughter is going to have her tubes tied soon, when she is ready for a child she plans to adopt one.


Just my opinion also, but I had my tubes tied after my daughter was born and hurts like a booger plus leave a nasty scar. My bellbutton will never look same. After I had it done, I was in a up to date doctors office and there are much less invasive options with the same results.
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#15 User is offline   nomis 

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Posted 26 December 2007 - 11:33 PM

My friend Andy is a keen greenie. He, with the blessing of his new wife, had a vasectomy before any kids at 22. Years went by, they split, Andy remarried, had the vasectomy reversed and now has three kids. He's still green.
Stephen Hawking, physicist, cosmologist and something of a dreamer:
Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer, in my mind I am free.
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#16 User is offline   wheels1974 

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Posted 03 January 2008 - 06:03 AM

20 years ago I was told I could NEVER biologically have children. After being in a few relationships I actually went with a girlfriend at the time to a specialist that works on IVF for the disabled, he told me that I have a 33% chance of success although it could take a few years of IVF treatment before it actually happens. Statistically speaking the percentage of having children will defiantly go higher with today's technology. I'm single now anyway so that doesn't enter my mind, I'd have to be in a serious relationship for at least 2 to 3 years before even considering that in this day and age. Oh and there are millions of Able bodied out there who cant have kids either.

P.s. Try not being so negative, bloody hell.

Regards
Dean.
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#17 User is offline   kiwiquad 

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Post icon  Posted 03 January 2008 - 09:20 AM

You havn't actually said that there is a medical reason that you can't have children. :cheers:
So I'm presuming that you are assuming that you can't?? ...or is that, assuming that you are presuming this??


Ugh...hold the door dave?...it's gotta be 4.20!!
"Feel the fear, & do it anyway"
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#18 User is offline   dave420atya 

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Posted 03 January 2008 - 01:48 PM

I was truly blessed with twin girls . They were 2 at the time of my sci. They are now 4 . At the time of my wreck I was in the middle of a divorce , but I already had fulcustody of them . They have no contact with their mother . (couurt orderded) I couldn't have retained custody without the help of my friends and family and it is still hard but so worth it! Do the reasearch and good luck.
Miss Kiwi , It is always 4:20 somewhere! hehe!
got a light?
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#19 User is offline   jenann 

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 09:14 AM

View Postxeena, on Dec 25 2007, 03:38 PM, said:

Kids are a blessingand you can have them. Have faith and look at your options,never give up.
Merry Christmas.


Hi linda
I have two children already with an ex partner and decided at 21 to have my tubes tied i am now 28 and my partner is t3/t4 complete and would dearly like to have children but my operation is a massive fctor and god i regret it now. Tell her to think about it very carefully because it is not undone easily or cheaply
jenny
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#20 User is offline   Mike (c4-5) & Lorena 

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Posted 22 April 2008 - 03:22 PM

View Postaaaa, on Dec 12 2007, 12:14 AM, said:

How do you feel about never having kids, because I'm hurt.


There are all types of procedures if your male or female in helping couples have kids. Talk to a fertility specialist in your area.

Otherwise there are so many kids looking for adoption. Being a parent can be very rewarding for a child who just wants a mom/dad.
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#21 User is offline   dom 

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Posted 23 April 2008 - 10:03 AM

hi, i have two kids from my previous marriage whom i both love, the only thing is that i see them every two weeks which is very nice but painful all the time due to not knowing them as i would like,i think maybe its a bit like the marriage thing-there is an old saying 'marriage is like a prison,the married ones trying to get out and the single ones trying to scale the wall and trying to get in! in other words the ones who have children with the responsibility financial/physical, sleepless nights, worry as a teenager etc etc etc who want free time to travel the world etc and the childless ones romancing about looking after their own offspring, sometimes when you Can't have something the urge to have it is all the stronger,good lu :mfrlol: ck with whatever you decide [i think if i had my time over i would decide not to have children but that is just personal and probably to do with how my life has panned out]
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#22 User is offline   milosh 

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:54 AM

adoption is an option too!
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#23 User is offline   Kev-O 

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 07:13 PM

I worked at Chuck E Cheese for a little over a year about 2 and a half years ago........... there is no way in hell im ever having kids.
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