[kalyn]

Helloy my name is Kalyn
! I don't know where to turn sometimes and I found this message board to maybe get a better understanding of a neck injury and meet some others that are going through one, or better yet, meet people that have family members with neck injuries. My dad has been paralyzed since March 3rd, 2007. He came home on Decemeber 15, 2007 or so. He is having a very slow recovery. He has little use of his arms, and suffers a C4,5, 6 injury...I think.
I'm just looking for some people to talk to in this healing process because it's been hard and I know it's not going to get any easier.

This post has been edited by kalyn: 19 February 2008 - 12:11 AM

[Kev-O]

kalyn, on Feb 19 2008, 12:10 AM, said:

Helloy my name is Kalyn
! I don't know where to turn sometimes and I found this message board to maybe get a better understanding of a neck injury and meet some others that are going through one, or better yet, meet people that have family members with neck injuries. My dad has been paralyzed since March 3rd, 2007. He came home on Decemeber 15, 2007 or so. He is having a very slow recovery. He has little use of his arms, and suffers a C4,5, 6 injury...I think.
I'm just looking for some people to talk to in this healing process because it's been hard and I know it's not going to get any easier.

Hey, i dont have a neck injury but i did brake my back. Not everyone recovers fully form an injury like that in fact a lot of people will never get any improvements, thats just how SCI works. Im not saying your dad will not get up an walk again, but any improvements is a good thing you should be thankful for. With SCI only time will tell. Good luck to you an your dad.

[longhaul]

Hi kalyn welcome. Hey it's ruff but not the end of the world. Don't pity or smother him it won't help keep it positive make sure he gets the nutrition and vitamins he needs to heal and stay healthy and try to keep him active. This is his life now what he used to be is over and it's up to him how it goes. It makes a big difference that he has people that love him. Take care..........

[DLV]

Hi Kalyn -
My son was injured March 11, 2006 and came home from the hospital Dec 15, 2006. So almost exactly a year after my son was hurt your Dad was hurt, they spent the same amount of time in the hospital and had the same injury. Wow - kinda strange, huh? Nine months is a long time to spend in the hospital. I am guessing that your Dad, like my son, had complications that kept him hospitalized so long. There are a lot of things to learn and deal with when they first come home but it does get easier for them and for us. My son has made a lot of progress in the past year and is doing things that I thought he may never do again. In a year from now I am sure you will look back and be surprised at how far your Dad has come too! I have a daugher your age. Well, she'll be 23 in a couple of weeks and another son who is 24. The son that was injured is 19 now. He was 17 when he was injured. The kind of injury your Dad has affects everyone in the family and changes so many things. Some times I feel like I missed out on a year of the other kids lives because I had to focus so much their brother. I know they understand why I wasn't there but that still does not make it fair. Now, almost 2 years from when he was first injured, a lot of things have gone back to the way they were. Even though my son is in a wheelchair he is like most 19 yr olds except instead of going to school or work he does to therapy. I am sure your Dad is very proud of you. You took the time to find this site and that shows you care. It is hard to see someone you love struggling to do the simpliest things. When your Dad's not in the best mood, remember it is his situation he is frustrated with, not you. Things will be better, for your Dad and for you, than they are today!

[kewlcatkez]

kalyn, on Feb 19 2008, 12:10 AM, said:

Helloy my name is Kalyn
! I don't know where to turn sometimes and I found this message board to maybe get a better understanding of a neck injury and meet some others that are going through one, or better yet, meet people that have family members with neck injuries. My dad has been paralyzed since March 3rd, 2007. He came home on Decemeber 15, 2007 or so. He is having a very slow recovery. He has little use of his arms, and suffers a C4,5, 6 injury...I think.
I'm just looking for some people to talk to in this healing process because it's been hard and I know it's not going to get any easier.

Hello Kalyn,

Good top meet you, sorry that it had to be due to these circumstances. My paralysis is at a much lower level than your dad's, but the reason I replied to your post is that I wanted to share my experiences, from what I have gleaned, and from my background as an RN ( although my forte is actually Cardiology, you would be surprised how many paralysed people I have nursed).

Firstly, as the others have said, every situation, even with the same 'particulars' is very different. It is because the human body responds so uniquely and the point which one person's body is able to get to, differs from what the person right next to them can/does. It is very soon still in his recovery ( even 10 months along) and so there is still hope that things will get better. This is especially true for emotional and non-physical healing, as well as for the return of function. Function and physically - please do be aware that although acute spinal shock covers the first few months, it can figure into the equation for many months to a year, or two. Hopefully, your dad will get some further return. Does he have physiotherapy? It also depends upon how complete his injury is, etc. There are again a wealth of posts re this, but do ask for further info if required..

Anyway, please do use the search facility here and look in at the carer's forum at the past posts. There is a wealth of knowledge and support here. I have been thinking a little about this and with regards to support:

I would urge that you speak with someone in your local area. Does his rehab facility have any groups ( support)? It may be that there is a group which you will be able to talk to someone in a similar situation to you in your vacinity. This helps some people, but isn't of use to others. Some groups will offer support via telephone, and of course posting here is also a good way to get peer support and people in a similar situation.

Depending upon where you live, ie which country, there are 'associations' -you probably heard of them! but here goes anyway

UK www.spinalcord.org
USA http://www.unitedspinal.org/ and http://www.asia-spinalinjury.org/
NZ http://www.icdri.org...uries/scinz.htm
Australian http://www.scia.org.au/
CANADA http://www.bcpara.org/bcpa.aspx?id=169 ( i think)

There are of course many more, in other countries..I thought that you are in an English speaking country so that is why I have added the above only...and to save time, I will bob back later..

I hope this helps,

Take care,

K

[ParaforGod]

Hi Kalyn Im so sorry about your dad and what your going through. I was 39yrs. old when my accident happened and had just remarried when my husband was killed in the accident. In fact we had been married only 6wks. My daughter was 18yrs. old at the time and my only child. When your a parent you exspect to be taking care of your child for many years to come and not your child taking care of you. First I just want to commend you for what you are doing because I know how hard it is and how afraid you must be. My daughter was in her Senior year of highscool when my accident happened and the place I went for rehab was 2hrs away from home. While at Shephard my case worker took care of getting me set up on SS and other things I needed to come home. Shephard Center owns some apartments and about one month before my coming home they put me in one to get me use to being on my own but yet the hospital is still there if needed. The thing was I wasn't allowed to stay in the apartment by myself and the only person I had to stay with me was my daughter. We would be there seven days a week for one month. My counselor contacted my daughters school to get her on homebound but the school wouldn't do this since my daughter wasn't the one hurt. No exceptions. The only way my daughter would be able to stay was to quit school. I told her no way! I told her I would just come home. It didn't work out that way so my daughter quit school to take care of me. I felt so guilty but the thing was her love for me was so great that she wouldn't have it any other way. So what you are doing only shows how much you love your dad. What Im trying to say is the two of you will work it out and its ok to be afraid of whats going to happen but don't start doing everything for him and don't stop having a life of your own. My daughter has been through so much with me. I stay in the hospital alot and most young people her age and your age wouldn't have the maturity to do what your doing. My daughter got married in Oct. and is now 11weeks pregnant. She is so happy and going on with her life. I live by myself now. She has to come and help me some in the mornings and evenings but as far as not moving forward well she has and you will get to that point also. I see how hard it has been for her and I know you have a long rode ahead of you but you wont regret it. My daughter says she has been so blessed to be able to do what she has yet there has been times when she was angry, afraid, felt like she would never get to go forward with her life. These feelings are normal. Once again I commend you and let your father do all he can for himself. It will get better and easier. When we first came home my daughter was afraid to touch me for fear that she would hurt me. Now she throws me around like a ragdoll. It has become second nature for her. I wish you well and if you have any questions just ask. Its going to be alright. You and your father are in my prayers.

[Tired of hurting]

Dear Daughter, You are an Angel to stay by your Dads side. Get yourself into a caregivers support group. A group for your Dad would help. He could vent with others that have the same problems. That helped me a lot. Also they can help him figure out whats next. Do you get In House Support Services for caring for your Dad. Call the county you live in and find out. You are a young girl,and you need to have a life too. Do you have someone to relieve you? You have to get out and enjoy life too Bless your heart for caring for him! And get someone to give you a break...I'll be praying for you both..

[kalyn]

thanks for all your kind replys. :o) I am at school, going to Fresno State, my dad is an hour away. So I go home all that I can. It's my mom that is his main care giver . Bless her heart.

This post has been edited by kalyn: 20 February 2008 - 09:19 PM

[farther is in hospital]

hi my name is carole 10 days ago my dad had surgery to remove a blood clot from his spine hes 78 years old he is now paralyzed frim the waist down the frst 2 days after surgery he was talking as normal but now he sleeps andhardley ever talks doctors have taken blood tests today to see if there is omthin else wrong hes alwys been a outgoing gent i dont know where to turn if someone could give me some answears id be gratefull thanks carole

[Tired of hurting]

Welcome Carole, So sorry to hear about your Dad. What a shock. All you can do is pray for him. Have they checked for Strokes yet? I'm sure they are looking for other clots as well. Hold his hand and talk to him. Tell him everything you ever wanted him to know. Thank him for being your Dad. Even though they can't speak they can still hear and understand. He will probably sqeeze your hand. I'll be praying for you both...

[adultchildofdisabledparent]

I was 21 years old (female) when my dad got a T7 injury (waist down). I know everyone concentrates on the person who is injured and their spouse, but being an adult child, out of the house, a lot of people don't think it affects you as much as it does.

I am now 29 and married with a child. I am still very close to both of my parents. I think the best thing is to "deal" with the situation now, and not later. For the first year or two after my dad's injury, I had dreams that he was walking. Then, I'd have dreams he was in a wheelchair and all of the sudden started walking and I was so excited. For the past few years, he's always in a wheelchair in my dreams. It upsets me that my daughter will never know my father how he was when I grew up-running around and playing with her-but I am more happy that he will be there to watch her grow up than not at all. You really have to focus on the positive. And there's always something positive to be found. Maybe it takes a while to find it, but it's there.

I haven't met any other "kids" of parents that were paralyzed, but would love to talk to any that are out there. Or if anyone knows of any forums for adult children of paralyzed parents, Please let me know!!!