13 replies to this topic

[microfurby]

My fiance (c-6 incomplete) and I are going to be moving in with each other soon. One of the things that worries me is how we are going to work out our sleeping arrangements. He has nurses that come in every night. They are in and out of the bedroom all night doing stretches, cathing, etc. I am a little worried as to how I am going to sleep with all that disturbance. It is also a little wierd to me that I will never be able to sleep naked with my future husband. I will always have to worry about being clothed properly at night. He is adament about sharing a bed, and I fully agree with him. I have stayed the night during visits (I live 779 miles away), and I am always woken up by the nurse. Does anyone have any advice that may help us? Thank You!!!!!!!!

[kdenon01]

Hello! My fiance is also a C6 incomplete. I now take care of him 24/7...But in the beginning we had aides throughout the nights. We have continued to share a bed. In the beginning it was weird to have people coming into my room at night...But after a while I wouldn't even wake up when they would come in. They were quiet, and didn't need too much light. Sometimes I would wake up, see what was going on and then just fall right back to sleep. I suppose that my body and mind kinda got used to it.

[kewlcatkez]

Hello,

I and another answered, here: http://www.apparelyz...amp;#entry53007 about the sex position thing,


With regards to your questions, there are a number of threads which have asked similar ones. Perhaps try entering a search. Here is a topic which is fairly new and discusses sleeping arrangements: http://www.apparelyz...=sleep together
There are other threads which look at specifics like interruption from carers etc,

In terms of the disturbances in the night, is there any way that his catheter can be left for longer periods or a new regiemen instigated? I ask as very few people who ISC do so throughout the night. If he has shrinkage of the bladder issues nmaking it necessary, then it is possible to retrain the bladder a little to hold more. The Urologist can work through this with him perhaps by using a valve.

If the interruptions are for less time and less reasons, then perhaps you will cope better with them.

Will twin beds help? I know many people who have twin beds together so they are able to cuddle, yet they are not disturbed so much and the beds can be moved, up and down and placed in semi recumberant etc positions- independently of each other..


I hope this helps,

Take care,



K


edited to add that I am unsure how long your Fiance has been injured, but a lot of C6 inc injured people eventually do not require the interventions you describe at night - at least not in as much frequency..So perhaps things will change over time and working together to implement changes which benefit your fiance and not any carer's convenience for the ones he does need. If course everyone is different, and any contributory issues aside..

Perhaps a few C6 inc's can chime in with their experiences..

Edited by kewlcatkez, 25 February 2008 - 06:12 AM.

[qbounce]

It wasn't mentioned, but is this a new injury? If so, you may expect him to eventually be able to do some, if not all of these functions on his own. just takes time and patience.

[Julian]

My suggestion? Get rid of the nurses lol! My fiancee is a C6 complete and she doesnt have any help at all and really doesnt need it. Oh and the love life is great thanks! Good luck!

[jon&kate]

Hi micro-
Kate here: just thought I'd share on this topic. My partner is a C5-6 quad. I am a MAJOR insomniac and am awakened by the slightest thing. When we first moved in together, the "bed/sleeping" issue was huge. We got a fabulous queensize tempurpedic adjustable...we arranged it so the aids wouldn't come in till around 8 AM... we tried many things to be able to sleep 2gether, but I just could not sleep. We chose to sleep in sep. beds ultimately. It was sad for us and hard at first, but we really did figure out our little "routines" for spending plenty of quality time in the bed together (not sleeping - especially as it really is our very favorite place to be what with no wheelchair in between us & so forth. Among other things, we lie together in the bed and talk, laugh, watch TV, etc. for at least an hour & a half before we sep. & go to sleep. So, this situation now works for us pretty well. What can I say? I guess I am a diva & need my sleep. But it makes me a whole lot nicer to live with when I get it and this makes Jon happy!
Good luck. Just be creative & you two will figure out what works for you in no time. Congrats on moving in!

[KarenFerguson]

My hubby is a C5 quad and stopped having aids at night (or in the morning) after I moved in with him Now, he just has an aid come three times a week for his bowel program. He also wears a condom cath at night, so he doesn't have to worry about cathing. About the stretching ... I really don't know.

Perhaps your fiance might look into wearing a condom cath, or you could help him out with his cathing and stretching? Just a thought. I know what it's like to have aides around. Even just for two hours it can seem like an invasion of your privacy!

[monikamadrid75]

My man and I sleep together just fine. We keep his hoist over his one leg that goes jumping and he has an IDC so we just put a bag on for the nights. It's great to get that time together that the chair stops us from having. He has a carer come 3 times a week for his bowel routine and a shower - the rest of the days he washes his hair by himself. I put him to bed, as I actually find it to be quite a calm restful time to be together and get him up on the other 4 days of the week. It gives us sleep-in-cuddly-relaxing time together. Love it!



Monika

[Mike (c4-5) & Lorena]

microfurby, on Feb 24 2008, 10:19 PM, said:

My fiance (c-6 incomplete) and I are going to be moving in with each other soon. One of the things that worries me is how we are going to work out our sleeping arrangements. He has nurses that come in every night. They are in and out of the bedroom all night doing stretches, cathing, etc. I am a little worried as to how I am going to sleep with all that disturbance. It is also a little wierd to me that I will never be able to sleep naked with my future husband. I will always have to worry about being clothed properly at night. He is adament about sharing a bed, and I fully agree with him. I have stayed the night during visits (I live 779 miles away), and I am always woken up by the nurse. Does anyone have any advice that may help us? Thank You!!!!!!!!

Giving up sleeping naked, no way. Ok in the winter. But in the spring, summer and fall. Oh no...

A few thoughts:

Stint - My husband had a stint placed at his sphincter muscle so he does not need cathing. After a year his bladder shrunk enough to where very little urine remains. In the mornings, I can just push on his belly/bladder area and he pretty much drains. Then, sitting up the rest just flows on out.

Air Mattress - To avoid pressure sores, my hubby sleeps on an alternating air mattress. Every other air column inflates and then the opposites deflate. Thus changing pressure spots every few minutes. Mike is 20 years plus post injury and he never has had a pressure sore. I think the brand is AquaTherm. Most medical supplies have a similar product. The air mattress can handle both of you when required.

Beds, we have two twin automatic craftomatic type beds. It allows Mike to sit up and lay flat or whatever. Mine too. It nice to sit up together at night watching TV or to do other couple's activities. It makes it nice for both of us as a vibrator is built into the beds. The beds do cost but the extras care well worth it.

Be happy, sleep naked.

[Eva Marie]

Wow am I relieved to hear that I am not the only one that has issues when it comes to getting the sleep I need. I have been living with my C5-6 Quad fiance for almost 2 years now and we have struggled the entire time with our sleep patterns. I need a good solid 8 hours of sleep a night while he seems to get by on 6 hours a night. I help him to get into bed and out of bed .. the problem has been that his district nurses insist that I not be in the bed next to him sleeping when they arrive to do his bowels. So... I need to be up to help him into bed at night but then also up several hours earlier then him each morning when the nurses come to leave the room. We have both found it odd that the nurses would have an issue with me being in bed sleeping or in the room when he is having his care done but were unsure about if this was normal procedure or not ... it sounds like it is not. I do sleep in PJs on the days the nurses come and we have separate twin beds on the same bed frame ..so i am not being intrusive to the space they need to do their procedure. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else has had this kind of a reaction from the District nurses and if so .. how you went about handling it. It would sure bring the quality of both our lives up tremendously if I were able to sleep that extra 3 or 4 hours in the morning

[KarenFerguson]

Eva Marie, on Apr 26 2008, 08:24 AM, said:

Wow am I relieved to hear that I am not the only one that has issues when it comes to getting the sleep I need. I have been living with my C5-6 Quad fiance for almost 2 years now and we have struggled the entire time with our sleep patterns. I need a good solid 8 hours of sleep a night while he seems to get by on 6 hours a night. I help him to get into bed and out of bed .. the problem has been that his district nurses insist that I not be in the bed next to him sleeping when they arrive to do his bowels. So... I need to be up to help him into bed at night but then also up several hours earlier then him each morning when the nurses come to leave the room. We have both found it odd that the nurses would have an issue with me being in bed sleeping or in the room when he is having his care done but were unsure about if this was normal procedure or not ... it sounds like it is not. I do sleep in PJs on the days the nurses come and we have separate twin beds on the same bed frame ..so i am not being intrusive to the space they need to do their procedure. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else has had this kind of a reaction from the District nurses and if so .. how you went about handling it. It would sure bring the quality of both our lives up tremendously if I were able to sleep that extra 3 or 4 hours in the morning

What time is your aid coming in the morning? My hubby's aid comes at 8:00am or 8:30am and that's fine by me. I usually greet her in the morning in my PJ's with a bowl of cereal - she never minds, hee hee. It's funny because sometimes I have to get dressed for whatever reason before she arrives, and if I'm all dressed with makeup on ...etc. she's always is sooo enthusiastic about my "neat" appearance. I hope she doesn't think I look like a slob all day.

Anyway, perhaps you could push back the time the aid comes. This could give you some extra sleep. My hubby also isn't the best sleeper - usually waking up periodically at night. Me on the other hand, I sleep like a log - nothing disturbs me. Hubby realizes that I like to sleep in later - sometimes till 9:00am and lets me do so - even if he has to lay there for a bit (I get him up and get him into bed as well). So, talk to your fiance perhaps you could work something out.

[milosh]

i have a nurse, but only twice a week for no more than 2h.

except for something major like bowels & major hygiene tasks, i don't think you need a nurse. for those, definitely you gotta have one. also having part time assistant [if he needs one], helps a lot.

[stecurtis331]

hi they how about get something that u can put in your ears so that u cant hear any noises when u are going to sleep and also what about the sleep masks u can get my wife was have trouble getting to sleep with me and she got something i think it was morrisons called the travel kit if u are in the uk how about giving that a go and see if that helps


stephen L4-L5 incomplete

[dolly]

Im c6 quad and I get myself into bed, undressed and wake up once to cath and roll on my other side till 7am wen i get up, im only 18months post injury but with determination i can now do it all alone. maybe in time aids/carers wont need to come in at night