[EFSTA]

hi everyone,

g'day from the a$$ end of the world..yep melbourne australia!!!

thank goodness for these forums...nothing beats getting it from the horses mouth
and the people who live it day in day out.. dont get me wrong the doctors and nurses and carers etc all do a fantastic job and i bow to them all as i wouldnt be able to do it myself, but the best advice comes from the ones who have fully lived and live the life.

i am just trying to come to terms and start accepting the fact that my brother may never walk again.

how do i do that? i am so confused!

there are so many questions i have that need answers, but i dont want to burden my brother with it as i understand he is dealing with this too.

everyone keeps telling me to be strong, but how do i do that? where do i start?

my brother was in a motorbike accident last friday, he is still in ICU hopefully he recovers and gets off the ventilator and he will be moved into the spinal cord injury ward, where they will start physio and rehab for him.

i am still in shock, i just dont know how to deal with something like this.

thanks in advance
efsta

[nomis]

Hi efsta
Tough luck about your brother.
As you said, you're feeling confused. That's how it will be for you, your brother and the rest of the family for the next little while. You can only take in so much at one moment and this is a biggie. You're still in shock, it's too early be sure of the likely outcomes and whatever happens there is a lot of new learning coming up. Give it time, it'll happen.

You don't have to accept what you don't yet understand and you don't have to stay strong. Be yourself. Your brother will know if you're bullshitting about being strong and he'd rather have the real sister he knows. So, trust your own instincts and be with you brother when you can. He needs your love more than ever before. (NOTE: Love and tears often go together)

This post has been edited by nomis: 09 March 2008 - 09:11 AM

[kewlcatkez]

nomis, on Mar 9 2008, 09:09 AM, said:

(NOTE: Love and tears often go together)

I agree with Nomis,
also wanted to add that "Love and tears often go together" and also so does strength, love and tears. There is no weakness in shedding tears...

I say this as Stifling and choking back tears can weaken your relationship as you become distant, not wanting to trigger them..

Just my opinion

All the best for you and your bro

Take care,

K

[Andrew Meddings]

firstly melbourne isnt the bottom of the world (tassy is ) secondly you have come to the right place for info but it may be a little early to think about long term plans . you need to wait & see a little.
i take it he will be going to royal talbot for rehab. the peer support team there do a great job.
your bro being a bike rider will probably handle it well . as he goes through rehab he will need support of you & all his family & friends. dont be scared to offend or upset him. it will only make him feel isolated . i regularly drop in to the talbot & would be happy to stop by if at some stage .
he will need to learn to do lots of things differently but quality of life shouldnt de any better or worse than it was a few weeks ago
regards andrew

[YYZ]

The best way to be strong is just to be there for him. He may have angry periods, so expect that. The thing about family is that when everybody else runs away, family sticks together.

You are going to have to wait and see how much he recovers, but no matter what, keep him out in the world and active. Don't let him get sucked into the abyss of isolation and depression.

YYZ

[EFSTA]

thanks all for ur replies.

andrew my brother hasnt even got a motorbike licence, he had the bike for 2 days. we didnt even know!!

YYZ the sad thing is , he suffers from depression previous to his dumb bike accident.

i think i am feeling a bit of anger mixed in with sympathy at the moment.

im so confused at the moment, and highly emotional.

i will be back to read and post some more.

ps: andrew my brother is at the austin hospital in heidelberg, melbourne.