2 replies to this topic

[linda]

I have a 22 year old daughter who was born with a C5 incomplete center core injury. Up until about a year ago I have been her sole care giver. During that time I found myself feeling burned out often times resenting her. I do love my daughter dearly, but I do have to say...it isn't easy caring for a disabled person. Now I have a wonderful women that comes to my home twice a day to provide the care that I once provided. Let me tell you... she has become a life saver I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Are there any other mums or dads out there that feel / felt the same way that I have felt ?

[Theresar360]

linda, on Mar 12 2008, 02:21 PM, said:

I have a 22 year old daughter who was born with a C5 incomplete center core injury. Up until about a year ago I have been her sole care giver. During that time I found myself feeling burned out often times resenting her. I do love my daughter dearly, but I do have to say...it isn't easy caring for a disabled person. Now I have a wonderful women that comes to my home twice a day to provide the care that I once provided. Let me tell you... she has become a life saver I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Are there any other mums or dads out there that feel / felt the same way that I have felt ?

We are heading for this situation very soon my 20 month old granddaughter will be coming home from the hospital March 26. She was injured in a car accident Dec. 5, 2007 and is now a quadrapelgic and ventilator dependent. My daughter will be caring for her at home as well as care for her 7 year old daughter. My daughter is 25 years old, a nurse and will be the baby's fulltime caregiver. I wonder and worry if she is going to be able to handle this. I asked her this and she said "mom she is my baby. I love her and will do anything for her." My daughter was driving the car that my granddaughter was injured in. It was a total accident and not my daughter's fault in anyway. This may sound bad but I hope that if at sometime my daughter can't handle this and needs help or just to get away from it that she feels this is what she has to do out of guilt. I know she loves her daughter more that life itself and would do anything for her but she is only human. She tells me all the time you have no idea how I feel Mom! I was driving the car and someday I am going to have to tell Victoria that I paralyzed her. I always tell her that she did not do this the accident did and that is just what it was an accident.Anyway I got off the subject her.
I would not feel guilty like I said we are all human and have our limits. You are entitled to get tired and want a break away from it all there is nothing wrong with that in my book. The hard part is to admit it and ask for help in getting a break.We are trying to talk my daughter into letting a nurse at least come it at night so she can sleep and keep up her strength after all she was also injured and barely gave herself time to heal physically and mentally. We will all help her to of course but we are not knowledgable right now on the vent care and I would be afraid to be left alone with just yet. That will come in time. I am worried about in the first few weeks of coming home. She will be exhausted just from trying to get things back to normal in their home after almost 4 months at the hospital and trying to create a routine for the family now that everything has changed. So like I said don't feel guilty take advantage of the much needed and deserved rest.....Theresa

[linda]

Theresa your daughter will be fine, she will adapt to all her babies needs. When I had my daughter her injury was not known, it was'nt until she was about 8 months old that we discovered some thing was very wrong and then it took another 7 years to diagnose her condition. I had some really rough days, but you know? even though it wasn't always easy... it sure was rewording! I am not going to lie your daughter will have her days and moments of dis pare, but as you know... being a mum... you must pro vale. I wish you...your daughter and your grand baby the best.