17 replies to this topic

[Tommy Farinas]

Some one anyone please am a C4/C5 please if you know of a cure i dont care about the risks i need something to hope for anything i have been in my chair for 7 years am 16




i dont think ill last much longer i cant do it my hope is gone.


It will be soon too soon i dont know what to do ive tryed everything you guys told me too but the pain is growing its taking over

Edited by Tommy Farinas, 27 March 2008 - 04:58 PM.

[Tired of hurting]

Hi Friend I hear your desperate today. What happened? How long has it been? Do you have enough help, or are you trying and getting more frustrated. We all have bad days. This is the place to share because someone can always relate. PM me if you want to talk. It's been 3 yrs and somedays I wonder what did I do to deserve this....I'm here if you need an ear.

[Illinois Boy]

Tommy,
I wish I had some great words of wisdom or knew of a cure myself..... You just have to try and keep up your spirits......

I know it SUCKS, a tree fell in front of my car at night, while I was on my way to work...
I try to keep busy.....

Good Luck!

Jim

[E-DOG]

Tommy Farinas, on Mar 20 2008, 05:26 PM, said:

Some one anyone please am a C4/C5 please if you know of a cure i dont care about the risks i need something to hope for anything

Timmy m'boy,
How long you been in the chair? Unless your injury is incomplete and there really is a chance for motor function to return, then the best you can HOPE for is the courage to accept the way things are. I could tell you things could be worse, but I know you don't really want to hear that right about now. I could also say there's a cure right around the corner so hold your breath just a little bit longer. But you'ld just turn blue in the face, n' get pissed at me.

Finding this site at least can be a blessing for you though. Many good-hearted people in a similar situation as yours to help with open ears and open arms. Suggestions and support.

When first injured I had no idea sites like this existed. Now that I've found this one, Im here every day, even if it's for only a few minutes. Makes me feel better each time I return.

There are others here who are much better at talking to people in your state of mind so check back often and see what they have to say.

Meantime, hang in there, it's true what they say: It may not get easy, but it does get easier.
Love and peace from way out west,
e-dog

[itsjustme]

Hi Tommy,

I'm down at the other end of the spectum. You have 3/4 of your life in front of you and about 3/4 of my life was behind me when I became paralyzed. Now that was a blessing in many ways however I sure didn't envision my "golden years" spent in a chair and I'm not scared of anything except being an old paraplegic lady in a nursing home somewhere if I were without my family.

My one word to you is preserverance and I'll tell you why. There was a guy who posted on here one time and I wish that there was some way to retrieve his post but he was a pretty lonely guy. He told his story of joining an online dating service, posting a picture of himself in his bed in his hospital gown. Now how sexy is that? Anyway, after being turned down by seems to me like it was 104 or 114 women, he finally met the lovely able bodied lady who became the love of his life.

Tommy, now granted, our situation is challenging, and some things aren't as much fun in a chair but you still have the choice and it is a choice to live, love, laugh and be happy.

I remember when I first started posting here and reading about the accomplishments of other "plegics" and being so amazed at the things that strong young men, especially because of their natural upper body strength, could do. Shout out!!! Hey guys, where are you now that this young man needs to know what he can do with his life?

Make the choice Tommy. Do something today that you didn't do yesterday. Then do something tomorrow that you didn't do today. Wash a dish HA! HA! Pet a dog. If it is sunny and warm just go out and bask in it for a little while. Just small things in the beginning but start looking. Make the choice to look for happiness wherever you think that you might find it. Try things. If you don't like it you don't have to do it again but if you do, you've just added a reason to hope to your positive list.

There's a beautiful lady in Canada, crashca to all of us here on Apparelyzed, who took up Curling a couple of winters ago. You know that funny Olympic sport where they push something on the ice and then people sweep it's path. Now, my first thought would not be, "Curling WOOHOO!" however she found it, tried it, and at last word that I had from her she really enjoys it. She gets out, she goes and she's having fun and laughing with other people. The idea here is to reach out and grab something. Like I said if you don't like your experience just move on to something else.

If the first 113 girls that you ask out say, "No thanks", move on to the 114th. She may be the one!

[Tim13]

Tommy Farinas, on Mar 21 2008, 12:26 AM, said:

Some one anyone please am a C4/C5 please if you know of a cure i dont care about the risks i need something to hope for anything i have been in my chair for 7 years am 16

Tell you what Tommy, if there was a cure-no matter how risky, I'd be knocking people out of the way to be first in line. Unfortunately, we're pretty much screwed for now. On the positive side, because of your age there is a very good chance that a cure will be found while you are relatively young. For me, even if there is, I'll likely be ready for a wheelchair anyway. Good luck and stay strong.

[Dancingdolphin]

Tommy Farinas, on Mar 21 2008, 12:26 AM, said:

Some one anyone please am a C4/C5 please if you know of a cure i dont care about the risks i need something to hope for anything i have been in my chair for 7 years am 16

Hi Tommy


No magic words..just thought I'd say hi..

Do you listen to music, watch DVD's, get to go out with friends to have a laugh?

Life can still be fun in a chair..and yes I DO believe you won't spend all your
life in a chair......gotta be a way of fixing us all soon...i really believe that..don't know what way
BUT you've gotta try + live now while your waiting .......

Try to keep busy on the down days ..makes them go faster

Hugs

K
xx

Edited by Dancingdolphin, 21 March 2008 - 05:33 PM.

[linda]

Itsjustme I must say... your words are very inspiring! I found myself engulfed in reading your reply to this young man. I do truly hope it has inspired him as much as it has me, by the way I am an able bodied person and will follow your advice.

[cer221]

Hey tommy! I know they will be a cure 1 day. For now Try to find other ways to enjoy life. You can email me if you wanna chat.

[Yong]

What I have realized, Tommy, is that if I step back and re-evaluate things, even the smallest entity or happenings have the power to make me happy.

For instance, I went out and played wheelchair tennis yesterday and after 3 hours in the sun, I came home to find out I had a huge farmer's tan. This reminded me of the years that I played competitive golf and coming home with a sun burnt face and for some reason it made me feel really good that I could have this again.

I know that a 'farmer's tan' isn't much to write home about, but it reminded me that I could still go out and be active...though a lot has changed, some things are still the same. But only if you're willing to go out and get it.

You're 16 and I'm 22... we're both really young. Maybe not 5 years or even 10 years..but I believe that there will be a cure in our lifetime. Heck..if it takes 30 years..you'll still be 46~ That's still younger than some of the people on this forum.

Have faith my friend... don't give up.

[Motor]

Yong, on Mar 22 2008, 05:51 PM, said:

What I have realized, Tommy, is that if I step back and re-evaluate things, even the smallest entity or happenings have the power to make me happy.

For instance, I went out and played wheelchair tennis yesterday and after 3 hours in the sun, I came home to find out I had a huge farmer's tan. This reminded me of the years that I played competitive golf and coming home with a sun burnt face and for some reason it made me feel really good that I could have this again.

I know that a 'farmer's tan' isn't much to write home about, but it reminded me that I could still go out and be active...though a lot has changed, some things are still the same. But only if you're willing to go out and get it.

You're 16 and I'm 22... we're both really young. Maybe not 5 years or even 10 years..but I believe that there will be a cure in our lifetime. Heck..if it takes 30 years..you'll still be 46~ That's still younger than some of the people on this forum.

Have faith my friend... don't give up.

Tommy,

I know you've heard this before but what was the alternative. For me everyday above ground is a good day. With youth on your side be patient you might be alive to see a cure. Surround yourself with positive people and activities. There is life in a chair. Look me up if you want to talk. Please don't do anything rash. Talk to us, thats what we are here for. I'll add you in my prayers. Tell your family to get on here and we can try to advise them on how to make it easier for you. Be well & god bless!

[wheeliebear75]

Hey Tommy,

I was also quite young (14 @ time of accident), although my injury is much lower; I can still appreciate feelings of being left behind by friends who want to go do things we can't. I do wonder what you do in your "free time"? The reason why I ask is when we have "too much" "free time" sometimes we tend to wonder down darker paths then when we've got things that we look forward to and enjoy. My self I LOVE playing games, listening to music, and watching movies. It may not be "adding to society" .....but it does however keep my mind busy and therefor I'm happier for it.

On cures........it's possible I suppose; a "cure". If they're going to come up with it, I very much doubt it'll be this year or even in the next couple; so I feel we can either sit around waiting for it, or go out and make the best out of the life we are LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE (I along with many others almost didn't survive the injuries themselves........so I'm just grateful to still be alive).

I hope that perhaps just having had a chance to "get it off your chest" with people who do truly understand where you're coming from.

"There's ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel..........it's just a question of how long is the tunnel."

[graphic]

Tommy, Tommy, I almost cried when I read your post. I can't give you any promise of a cure but send you one huge cyber hug. Although there's no sign of an imminent cure, research IS being done and, given your age, there's a good chance a cure will be found during your lifetime, so don't give up hope. Having said that, a cure isn't everything...I know some able bodied people who are right miserable sods. You can bet that everyone on this site gets depressed at one time or another, it's only natural...we have a lot to get depressed about. It must be particularly hard at your age, wanting to do all the things you see your friends doing and missing out on the fun. Concentrate on things you enjoy doing rather than think of those you can't do (easier said than done , I know), and look into trying new activities. Make sure you have the lightest, fastest chair you possibly can. It's amazing the difference a good chair can make. Secondly, as boring as it might sound, spend as much time and energy on your studies as you possibly can. I know it sounds boring but believe me, a good job will give you a future of independence and financial security...as well as a nice car, the opportunity to travel etc.. I don't know what country you're in but you'll shortly be old enough to drive. Make sure you learn as soon as possible...if you can't afford lessons start looking for charitable trusts that are able to help. Whatever else you do, DON'T give up hope! PLEASE find someone you're able to talk openly and honestly with. If you can't open up to your parents or a friend, then tell your doctor how you're feeling. There are people out there who understand and will support you....you've already done the right thing by posting on here! Thinks are never as bad if you can share your feelings. There's no reason you can't enjoy a full and active life....just a little different to what you might have wanted. I hope you'll be able to post again in five years time saying what a great life you're having. In the meantime you're in my thoughts & prayers.
Take care, Clive

[Jsec64]

Hi Tommy

Just read your post and recognise the feelings your having. Its 4 years coming up for me and yeah there are times that are bad and I mean bad. But fella there are days when its just good to be here and for me that outways any other options.

I guess your in the States but just know that there are people here that will listen and not judge you. Talk fella and open up to someone. My thoughts are with you my friend PM me if you want to.
Take Care

John

[Alli]

I hear you and I understand. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, AND WHAT YOU'RE FEELING IS NORMAL.[u][i] I'm here if you want to talk. This comes with a huge cyber hug for you!

Ali

[Webwych]

Tommy, I completely relate to your frustration and sadness, but let me tell you something. It's not you that needs the cure, it's Able-Bodied society who need better education.

Whilst being disabled is difficult and sometimes painful, a lot of the pain comes from how we think other people perceive us. Being 16 and disabled is a real kicker, I remember it (just about! ).

It took me a while to realise that their wasn't actually anything wrong with me it was other people that were causing me to feel bad about myself.

Whatever you do, please don't put yourself through any painful or risky procedures in an attempt to meet the wider society's concept of 'normal'. It's really not worth spending that time in pain when you could be having an active, enjoyable life as a disabled person.

If the mods will permit me, I know a great young man I'd like to link you to called Jesse Billauer who is a magnificent inspirational speaker. I have been disabled all of my 35 years and even now I watch his videos and wonder how the heck he keeps the positivity up!

Let the people who love you be there to help and keep talking to others who have been in your position and can support you and you'll find away to enjoy life again.

Edited by Webwych, 30 March 2008 - 09:24 PM.

[Tigerlily]

Tommy I hope you are doing better now than you were on the 20th. My daughter was hurt almost three years ago C6-7 complete. She got involved in adaptive skiing last year--the folks at the ski slope where she goes are amazing--they deal with all kinds of disabilities and levels of spinal cord injury. This changed my daughter's life. If you can get involved in any kind of adaptive sports, it might help you. The instructors are always wonderful, upbeat, and help you do to things that you never thought you could do.

I have a Bible verse that I read while she was in the hospital that kept me going--I read it over and over again. It is about putting on the armor of God when things seem hopeless. I am not sure if it is legal to put a Bible verse on this forum, I don't intend to offend anyone. It is Ephesians 6:10 - 18. This verse always helped us when we were at our lowest points throughout the ordeal.

Tommy, keep going because life is worth living. If you read through this website, there are all kind of people who are living life with their disabilities. Keep reading and you will find hope and companionship. I believe that the cure is right around the corner.

Tommy Farinas, on Mar 20 2008, 08:26 PM, said:

Some one anyone please am a C4/C5 please if you know of a cure i dont care about the risks i need something to hope for anything i have been in my chair for 7 years am 16




i dont think ill last much longer i cant do it my hope is gone.


It will be soon too soon i dont know what to do ive tryed everything you guys told me too but the pain is growing its taking over

[Tired of hurting]

How is your pain management? What do you take? My pain was out of control,and I felt out of control. It hurt too much to go out.

I coach basketball for kids with abilities we prefer to call it. I have taught quads how to pass the ball to other quads and other kids to bounce pass to them. Is there anything like this where you are? Special Olympics might be able to help. Or start a league yourself. Do you have other friends in chairs. Are you in any support group? That helped me a lot to understand bladder spasms. I had no clue. I was just misable.Do you have spasms that limit your movement and cause pain? If you PM me ask me about something. I can't understand if you use one word like HELP. I have to know what you want help with?

I hope you get out each day and soak up some vitamin D...It feels good, You have to start somewhere...

Edited by Tired of hurting, 04 April 2008 - 02:15 AM.