6 replies to this topic

[AHolland]

As a fellow Canuck, I will step up to the plate and put in my two bits.

A SCI is a terrible thing to go through. When it first happens it is as if the weight of the world has hit you on your head. Your first reaction is that life is now over. Back when I got injured I was in a special ward where people had gone through terrible injuries. Included in this bunch was a young 18 year old male who had to wear a halo brace. It was like a big ungodly metal structure that was screwed into his head to hold the neck from moving. It was on 24/7 for 6 months. The young guy was so distressed that he would not come out of his room even to eat. This was in a ward where everyone ate together and had similar or worse injuries. They had us eat together so we could see others in similar situations.

Eventually I started to talk to him in physiotherapy and showed him how to do some tricks like balancing on the two rear tires of our wheelchairs. There was no way an old fart was going to show him up. In the end, he was seeking some of us out to play cards and socialise in general. The rest of us gimps became his world to the point where he did not want to go home. Eventually he walked out of the ward with a cane for help. God, but I wish I could have done that.

The point of all this was to make him realise that life was not over just because he became disabled. It's hard. Very hard to adjust to the new world. I think it is easier on us old guys (I'm mid 40's) because we have had life pound on us for a while and we roll with the punches better than the young. This is not to say that there are not times that I wish I could just drive off a bridge and end it all.

It will take time with a dash of hope.

Show him some other people in similar situations if nothing else but to have someone to talk to. Time may not heal all injuries, but it helps a little. Who's to say what will be around the corner in terms of a cure. I cannot sugar coat it and neither should you.

As a side note I am of the mindset that everyone should have the right to direct their life as they see fit including the choice to live or die. If we cannot at least have dominion over our own lives than indeed life is not worth living. The only caution that I would have to add is that a person who is recently injured may not be in a proper frame of mind to find a proper answer to their own lives. If after a couple of years of physical therapy and healing he still wanted to end his life, then I would be the first to support him. It's his life after all. He's just not in a position to make that decision at this time.

Good luck with him.

[hillarymcarter]

I think you should bring in some murderball tapes to show him. Murderball is rugby for quadraplegics. Let him see what quads can do. I can understand why he feels like life is over because he doesn't understand what his life can be. When I found out my husband was paralyzed I thought life was over because I didn't know anybody in a wheelchair and I didn't understand that there can be a "normal" life after SCI.
If this doesn't work, maybe y'all can take the Dana Reeves approach. She told Christopher Reeves that if he got to the year mark and still did not want to live, she would help him find a way to die. Of course, she knew that once he was educated on the facts he wouldn't want to take his life.

[ASHLEYTHOMPSON]

John has told me that during his stay at rehab, he would wheel himself outside to the parking garage and contemplate wheeling off the edge. Thankfully, he never went through with it. I can only imagine what those first few months must be like.