[duff]

I am an 18 year old, and finishing firt semester of college. It will be 3 years this November 2008.

I have no clue where to begin;

1- Relationship
2- Normality of life
3- Life alone with this area ofnjury ie. C4-C5
4- And alot more on my mid

Please I need help/guidance

[Quad65]

Wow. Where to begin? My life changed when I was 17 and became a quad in 1965. It may sound like a load of crap, but it's true. You can accomplish as much with your life as you are willing to work for. Or, you can sit and let it all pass by.

Things are much different today than in 1965 for SCIs. Better medical, rehab, education, technology, accessibility, etc.

You're on the right track. Finish your education. Also, educate yourself on the new realities of your life. Be your own advocate.
You may lose old friends who can't handle the 'new you'. That's OK. You'll make new friends.
Romance, relationships, marriage, and even children are distinct possibilities. I married a wonderful woman when I was almost 30. We had a daughter after trying for three years. We now have four grand kids.

You can have a rewarding career. I went through training and became a Computer Programmer/Analyst and worked for 17 years for three large organizations.

I had to retire for health reasons and now I'm working at becoming a fiction writer.

None of this came easily, but it's my life and I'm determined to live it. Do the same with your life.

[duff]

Thank you very much, it's better to hear it from another parapeligic and not doctors.

[Tired of hurting]

Are you able to get out?
What do you like to do?
How much movement do you have?
When you wake up in the morning are you thankful for the things that work?

What kind of food do you eat?
Out of 7 days a week, How many are happy?
Everyday enjoy the beauty surrounding us with your eyes, listening to the animals and the birds.
Are you in alot of pain?
Do you drink alcohol?
Slow down and be thankful your still here


Here are a few things to think about. I have 5 kids 20-28 Your going to be OK it/s just one of lifes test!

PM me after you think about this and we can brain storm some ideas..Its a new path

[qbounce]

Hi Duff,
It'll be 3 years for me too, this Oct. Obviously you've figured some things out for yourself. . . education is HUGE on the list of recovery for your age!

Don't be afraid to start conversations with the ladies. Your disability is as definate as you let it be in your head.

I've noticed more women approaching me since I've been in the wc. . . I think it's because they aren't threatened by me in any way, so my vulnerability makes me easier to talk to.

Get out of the house, stay socially active with friends/family . . . your life will be as fulfilling as you make it.

If you have specific questions, just ask.

[Mike (c4-5) & Lorena]

duff, on Apr 15 2008, 09:24 PM, said:

I am an 18 year old, and finishing firt semester of college. It will be 3 years this November 2008.

I have no clue where to begin;

1- Relationship
2- Normality of life
3- Life alone with this area ofnjury ie. C4-C5
4- And alot more on my mid

Please I need help/guidance

Duff

Wow, I think I could write a book for you on this. I am a c4-5 for 21 plus years. I was injured at 1yo myself and went back to collage to get my BS drgree in Mechanical Engineering. Today, I own my own home, I work 4050hrs/week, married and with two kids. I also started driving which is easly possible for most but I only have one functioning arm.

I am adding in a intro that I made of myself a whil4e ago to tell another Quad who I was. I have even more about myself on our personal web address link below. Look under Mike then My Adisability. Let me know if I can answer anything else.

Mike

-----------------------

My name is Mike (C4-5 quad)

On Dec 18, 1986 my life might have changed for the better. Prior to this date I was an avid soccer player, swimmer, water polo playing, and car enthusiast kind of a guy. I was 19 yo old and had big plans for my future. Never did I expect my life to change so drastically one day and then 20 years post turn out so great today.

On this day, if you have guessed, I was paralyzed. A week before Christmas and three weeks after I had turned 19 yo. Wow! Was my world rocked. Like most I had never really know anyone who was wheelchair bound let alone the lifestyle I would be living until now.

I was in the midst of my first year of collage at and engineering school and I did not want to give up my dream of working as my father and grandfather who both were also mechanical engineers.

I left rehab about 1-2 months early as I was sick of it all. They wanted me to discus my life with a shrink who I had no interest to talking with. I was to cry and be angry but I wasn’t. I would not say I was 100% ok with myself being paralyzed but talking to a shrink made no sense to me. I wasn’t sad, I was mad that why me.

I won’t say it was easy but I saw so many people who had given up on life as the “I am hurt and nobody will help me�. I was sick seeing a lot of whiners. This just was not me. I wasn’t sure what I could do but giving up was not my style.

After the summer in August 87, I returned to community collage. That was tuff having all of my classmates gawk at me. But they had no idea that I was new to being paralyzed. So I looked at it as they don’t know me, so heck, who cares.

When I was paralyzed I was left with only one partially working arm. Some shoulder movement, no finger movement and very little wrist on my right arm. My left arm almost dead but foe me it is good enough as my paper weight.

In Aug 89, I moved out of my parent’s home to attend collage out of town. I continued my pursuit of my collage degree in mechanical engineering. One day, maybe a few more here and there, I made a list of my goals I wanted in life. I wanted to net my bachelors degree, I wanted ton get a real job, I wanted to own my own home, get a girl and get married and have kids, and drive again. These goals were made 4-5 years post injury. Pretty aggressive?

So, how did I do you ask; (remember, I was paralyzed Dec 1986)
1. In June 1992, I graduated with my Bachelors of Mechanical Engineering
2. In June 1993, I started working for Southwestern Bell Telephone as a Network Engineer.
3. In August 1993, I bought a condo
4. In February 1999, I met my fiancé
5. In October 1999, I flew to the Philippines to get engaged.
6. In August 2000, we were married.
7. In March 2004, we were blessed with baby twins.
8. In July 2007, I started driving a joystick drive van.

Next!

I took over 20 years to get were I wanted to go, but I am here. Too many people that I met 20 years ago still have nothing. Why? It was not easy but what in life is easy?

I do look at my disability as a blessing. Who knows what wrong roads I may have gone down not being paralyzed. Hell yes hard work was involved. A skipped a lot to get where I am. Today we own a 3-bdr 2-bath home, 2 cars, we travel around the world, are twins are 4yo, I work as Sr. Quality Assurance Engineer, and my wife and I are loving each other happily ever after.

There is so much more that I did to get where I am to day but if asked if it was worth it, heck yes. Sure there are things I miss and will never get to do again. But there is nothing anyone can do about it. So I live life to the fullest. Thx God.

I am a very lucky man.

[Captain Pike]

Hello Duff, welcome, and it's good to hear from Quad65, too, I guess I have been off this site for a while -- don't know some of you guys.
I also have a complete C-5 injury. I can flex both wrists but I have contraction in neither (I think I'm saying that right, but I might be wrong). If I lay my arm on a table normally, with my palm down, I can raise my hand up, so that my fingers are not touching the table. I can't "hook" my wrist the other way (inward) -- which would be really handy for pulling my leg (no pun intended) upward -- reaching in just above the knee.

I have no other sensation or motion. I know when my bladder's full, pretty much. I can tell, just an instant before, I'm going to move my bowels -- this is not really useful, just gives me a second to make a face. You know, the old, "oh, I'm going to", too late, it's happened! I'm laughing now.

But yeah, quad is right, we can do all sorts of things once we decide we are not going to the victims anymore. The way I try to look at things is like, "three years ago I survived fatal car crash." Instead of looking at it for what went wrong. Over the last three years, I've gotten married, gone on a cruise ship, traveled in Mexico, went with my new wife on our own tour of New York City, just got back from San Francisco a couple weeks ago. This last week, I've been "baching" it with my 15 year old son and my older brother, here, in my own house, while I'll let my wife have a little freedom to check out Washington, DC with her two young children. I'm using voice activated software to dictate this text. I enjoy spending most afternoons by myself, reading, writing, studying the great American authors (right now, reading Jack London). I've just hired some guys to replace the roof on a rental house that will soon have a tenant moving in to a. I'm probably going back to school. I'm not working or going back to school right now because I don't want to, right now.

I miss some things. Funny things, like shoveling snow and mowing. But I have this idea for a mowing attachment on a wheelchair. I have this other idea, this one will allow me to supervise automotive repair work by viewing what is being seen by a tiny camera mounted on a headset that will be worn by a auto Tech. Using a two-way radio built in, I can guide the technician to do intricate and complex jobs, while I view what he is seeing on TV monitor. This way, I could employ and train several guys at once and operate the foreign car business I used to have before my accident, without getting my hands dirty. See, my brain still works fine.

On this forum, there are people who have gone through just about anything you can imagine. You really don't have to be alone. And another thing, about depression. I was just as morose as I was before the accident. It's just that now, I have something concrete I can be negative about if I want to. But, I DON'T WANT TO. Feel free to private message me any time you like and welcome to the forum.

[eujei]

hi,


im also new here and also quite new in this sci life compared with you guys.. Im from Portugal so sorry for any english mistakes. Im 22 years old, made yesterday , and in 11/08/2006 a broke my neck when i hit the sand after a failed running dive against a sea wave. While underwater I really thought my life was going to end that day, but when i gave up hope and closed my eyes, some people pulled me out of the water... and i was imediatelly enlighted. while laying backwards not able to move anything, i told the lifeguard: everything from now on is profit!

and when i get sadder i hold to this two feelings.. and i learned to apreciate more my family, friends and my girlfriend that stayed with me for more 13 months post-sci and is still my best friend.

I also have a lot a projects.. but the most important is finishing Medicine School! I was on holiday between my 2nd and 3rd when i had the accident, i stopped for a year and i started again last september. Im willing to be the first quad doctor in Portugal and maybe in the world! i know a 50 yo quad doctor that suffered his sci 3 years ago but i ll be the first quad medicine student that actually graduated.. I truly hope so!

You have to learn to live your life day by day and enjoy small things, because no one knows better than us that life can really change in just a second..