16 replies to this topic

[regwallace]

Hey all,
I'm a walkie and a teacher. I'm wondering what kinds of things I should avoid so as not to insult any physically challenged students. I was referred to this site by a friend. Anyone have any helpfull comments or just plain complaints about our education system as it relates to wheelchair users.
Thanks in advance for you advice.
Gina

[Kwag_Myers]

regwallace, on Apr 16 2008, 09:41 PM, said:

Hey all,
I'm a walkie and a teacher. I'm wondering what kinds of things I should avoid so as not to insult any physically challenged students. I was referred to this site by a friend. Anyone have any helpfull comments or just plain complaints about our education system as it relates to wheelchair users.
Thanks in advance for you advice.
Gina

You may want to read some of these threads:
Any Weird Responses to you Disability?
People Amaze Me, couple of blog entries
No, I Don't Need Help & No, We're Not Racing, Intro. & a rant
Tandem Wheelchair, Lame comments we all know and love

That's all I can find, but it seems to me there was a couple more.

[doublelibra]

Hi, Regwallace-

Don't be patronizing, and don't feel sorry for us.

doublelibra

[Apparelyzed]

regwallace, on Apr 17 2008, 02:41 AM, said:

I'm wondering what kinds of things I should avoid so as not to insult any physically challenged students.

Hi,

This should be of use to you: Non Wheelchair User Etiquette

Also, just treat them as you would be treated in their situation.

Regards

Simon

[steveB.O.P]

eventually we are all going to offend somebody it might be politics, religion, height, weight, race, gender, sexual orietation you name it eventualy it is going to happen the trick is not in trying to avoid offending people just be honest be predictable be approachable and be your self.
that way when a situation comes up you have a chance to learn more about the person themself rather than associating a generalisation or stereo type to that person.

[azx43]

Hi- I'm glad you are taking the time to do a little research on how to best serve the needs of your students. That alone shows what a good teacher you are!

Anyway, what I absolutely find the very most insulting is when people avoid talking with me because they are afraid that they might say something that offends me! It is what they don't say that worries me. . . I am a very social person and I genuinely enjoy interacting with others, so when others make a point of avoiding me (because I'm different than they are) it hurts. Accept people for who they are; difference makes the world go 'round! My point is not to get so hung up with "being polite" that you worry constantly about offending, and therefor get nothing done as far as socializing and communication. Personally, I can almost always tell when someone is uncomfortable with me; they are really stiff and tense!

I agree with what others have said. Treat people how YOU want would to be treated, always try to remember that! How would YOU feel if. . .people stared at you ALL THE TIME!! (that's just one example) I've even had to sometimes remind family members of that; I get stared enough in public, I don't need it at home, too.

Disability is the minority anyone can join! AB today, maybe not tomorrow, and it's not as bad as it looks. People that have a disability can do anything you can do, and maybe some things you wouldn't do-like whitewater kayaking or rock climbing. Legs are overrated anyway. Personally, I NEVER mind if people ask questions (in fact I prefer it), as long as they are genuinely interested the answer and don't ask with a patronizing or condensending attitude. I am, and most people are I think, very sensitive to that- so I'd recommend not doing it- because it feels like the asker is accusing me of being deficeint in some way.

Mostly as a teacher, you are probably pretty experienced and good at interacting with people so use those skills. Treat others like the wonderful people they are, be open-minded, be sensitive to others' feelings.

[Quad65]

Talk to the person directly, not at or around that person. If they have an attendant or helper and you have a question, do not talk as if the disabled person were not there. It is demeaning and insulting.

Be yourself and not PC. You don't have to tip-toe around us or walk on egg-shells. Granted, some people with disabilities are hyper-sensitive and combative, just like the general population. You learn to deal with them.

Personal observation: I've been a quad for almost 43 years. Anyone can ask me just about anything relating to my injury or my life. If the question is sincere and I feel it is non-intrusive, I will answer it. If not, I will tactfully say I'd rather not.

Edited by Quad65, 17 April 2008 - 06:05 PM.

[Illinois Boy]

Don't say,

Excuse me Sir or Mam, May I borrow your chair.......

Jim

[Texaswheelz]

Illinois Boy, on Apr 17 2008, 01:45 PM, said:

Don't say,

Excuse me Sir or Mam, May I borrow your chair.......

Jim

I don't mind that, as long as they give me a comfortable place to set and then let me teach them to do wheelies.

[Avocado Baby]

Texaswheelz, on Apr 17 2008, 07:51 PM, said:

Illinois Boy, on Apr 17 2008, 01:45 PM, said:

Don't say,

Excuse me Sir or Mam, May I borrow your chair.......

Jim

I don't mind that, as long as they give me a comfortable place to set and then let me teach them to do wheelies.

Same here..I love watching AB's trying to do wheelies and scaring themselves!1

[Tired of hurting]

Being a teacher in a special ed class for 20yrs. I learned a lot. But I was not in a chair then. One thing I think helps, is to bend down to their level to talk. Look them in the eyes. It gets tiring to look up at people all day long. We all have feelings. Ask them what they understand,and do they need help with anything. Never assume you should do something without asking. If it is cold you might ask "Can I help you put on your coat." Or if your eating with a Quad ask them is there anything I can help you with. They can't cut up their own meat. Or might not be able to get a piece of bread a part. Most people in chairs take pride in being independent. Sometimes I love help,when something is on the top shelf and I can't reach it. Always listen to what they have to say and repeat it back, so they know you understand their needs. I know one young lady whos speech was affected and she was a 4.0 student. People treated her like a baby,and she would flat tell them off. She is 18 now and has traveled all over the world by herself. So don't let their looks or speech get in the way. There is always someone in that body,and you will be surprised who you will meet....

Edited by Tired of hurting, 17 April 2008 - 10:52 PM.

[nomis]

Include the person. Sometimes we need a bit of a nudge to be included in the activities of others cos we're shy of exposing our difference or feeling like we are a bother to others.

[edlee]

What worries me most, I guess, is that you seem to think of those in chairs as a group.

Don't do that..... We are all different,,,, or, at least, we like to think we are,,, so as long as you treat "us" the same as "them", you will be fine.

You can never be sure what will bother anyone. One of your roles as a teacher is to help ALL the young people in your classes learn how to deal with being "bothered".

Being overly careful around me is the thing that would insult me the most,,, not something you might say.
ed

[dorkette]

Gina,

First I think it depends on if you're teaching a whole class full of people in wheelchair or one stray kid who happens to be in your class.

I could go on and go about how messed up the the Baton Rouge education system is, but I know from experience that for a good portion of my school career I was required to go before school even started to make sure everything was accessible. Eventually it got old and I found the best solution was to just turn a regular chair-desk around and use the desk surface like that. And when I did need something changed (a proper door or the handicapped bathroom stall) they refused to cahnge it until the summer anyway. Um, when you're setting up your class room, make sure there isn't any really tight spaces were the kid would need to get to. Beyond that, treat them like any other normal student. Don't assume they can't do something because they'll surprise you with how limitless/creative at doing things they are. If they really need something, they'll come to you.

Oh and please do not privately tell the other children in the class to make friends with the kid in the chair. Because if and when they do become friends, they will eventually let it slip and they were made to do so and then everyone involved feels like a giant idiot. Middle school was fun times, right??

[Mike (c4-5) & Lorena]

I am bit tired of people so worried what people can and cant say in being “politically correct” about someone’s disability . It makes me sick. Most people do not know the correct way to approach someone with a disability. Lat time I heard, no classes were being taught either. But, should the person says something, God forbid, incorrectly they get lambasted for “how dare they”, or “how insensitive”. Give me a break. How does this help anyone?

Heck, half the time I don't know myself how to correctly approach someone with a different disability then mine. A lot of disabled folk, need to lighten up. If someone incorrectly approaches you and use the dreaded word Handicap (or some word you find offensive), be nice and explaine to them your feelings. Most people are not trying to be rude or insensitive in approaching you. In their way, they are trying what they know.

Kids are great. They ask 100 questions a second about my wheelchair, my life and why I don’t walk as they are curious. Most adults know just about as much as kids do. So why don’t we teach them. ,The more people know the more they know that we are humans, that we lead descent lives, that we love, that we are just as normal as they are (to a point). I want everyone to know and learn about me because when issues arise in the public arena they will already understand the situation regaurding disabilities. Most people make mistakes about people with disabilities because they didn’t know. Why, because they were never taught.

Personally I dont care if I am called crippled, handicap or my favorite A person with special needs. So what? Some individuals don’t know better. My dad used handicap for years. He never realized he was using a BAD word. He tried helping a quad out who tore into him when he used the word. They guy went nutz. Today, my pops is gun shy from approaching other wheelies as he might incorrectly say summing. Stupid?

I would rather explain 100 times a day my situation so people can learn about disabilities then scare people of with a tongue lashing. Those of us with disabilities, and those who know us, need to teach others who don't know. Do all of us know how to approach a person who lost a child to an accident? No! But would you be scared to approach another person after you were butchered for saying the wrong thing.

Help those around us learn how tob roll in our shoes.

Mike

[wheeliebear75]

Well I'm glad you asked too.

(I think everyone else has added just about everything I'd have said......so I'll just skip to the rest of it.)

I think of myself as (a "normal" person who just happens to get around sitting down). It's different dealing with young children vs. older ones (I don't know what ages you teach). For all ages it helps to see that all of us are different.

One thing we did in my son's kindergarten class (kids were asking him about his mommy) We had everyone in a semi-circle sitting "Indian style"; when ever a child match the description they had to go from the semi-circle to the side of the room and stand; "Everyone with brown hair stand up and go to the wall", and then so on and so on kids wearing shorts vs pants, kids with glasses.....(he had 4 in his class of 25 at the time), kids with freckles, and anybody with a scab......and we pointed out that they were from ("accidents"). The kids got the point......"we're all different just in different ways"

Later on it was more of a physical representation of what SCI was (I used analogy of headphones with a short in them......especially since I'm an incomplete.) There were some neat vids the library lent me to illustrate wheelchair basketball and even quad rugby which even had a guy using a "sip puff" electric chair to play. (one of his classmates thought "it must be mind controlled!". LOL

Wheelchair users are as unique as any other group. Not all old people like to garden or crochet.......some elderly people are out there climbing Mount Everest. Same with us. We've all got different interests, talents, and skills; they make us who we are.......NOT the way we get around.

[regwallace]

doublelibra, on Apr 17 2008, 11:05 AM, said:

Hi, Regwallace-

Don't be patronizing, and don't feel sorry for us.

doublelibra

Thanks a bunch everyone. I will be going to Borders books soon and hope to find some of the suggested reading. I truly appreciate your candor and that's not bull (no patronizing - got it). Can I just say that I am impressed by all here. This forum looks like a bunch of cool people. Will also check out the "wheelchair ettiquet" site.

For those of you who asked, I teach high school. My classes are integrated with students with any kind of difficulty to overcome. As yet no-one in a wheelchair, but I like to be prepared. Oh, subjects are English and Graphic Arts. When I lay out the classroom I will keep the "no tight turns" in mind.

Again, thanks all.
Gina
P.S. If I ever stare at a guy in a wheelchair, it will be because he's "hot looking" and no other reason.