20 replies to this topic

[OZ Sister]

Hi,

I have been reading these forums for the last 4-5 weeks and like so many others just want to say thank you for providing so much advice, information and inspiration to me.
My brother had a fall on Good Friday this year, he and his family are building a house and he fell from the mezzanine level 3 meters onto a concrete floor, not so pretty really! He has ended up with a T6 complete injury.

The first week in the hospital was frightening as there is no information what so ever. They live in a remote area so after a 19hours on a milk run flight and ambulance transfer to RPH we were expecting so many answers to our questions, but got very little. I guess we are looking further ahead already, however for them they are just trying to save his life, rehab handles the rest! This site provided me, and I know some of his mates, with a wealth of information in those early weeks.

The information is trickling through now and maybe that’s just the way it works! He is doing amazingly well and has maintained a positive outlook from day one. We think he is nothing short of inspirational, he thinks he is just an ordinary bloke doing what he needs to do to get the hell out of hospital!

There are so many questions to be answered some I will post soon! The first question though is was anyone else this accepting from the start and if so did it carry through? I just thought that it would be a big crash then a gradual climb to acceptance and independence. I know he has an amazing amount of support from Friends, colleagues and family and all that positive energy and the unfailing belief that if anyone could get through this challenge, it would be him and his wife, and this is a driving force for him. He has taken catheters and bowel programs in his stride and is coping really well with it.

Don’t get me wrong he knows what he has done and he fully understands that it is permanent…he just seems so accepting of it. (He does swear at himself a lot in Physio so he is having anger and frustration issues ) He has had some set backs with infections in the site which has really slowed him down a bit, every chance he will need a third op to take the rods out as they have an infection in it, he is on some strong antibiotics and will be till that happens.

Thanks again for all the info, it has been a life line to me.

[norma]

Hello OZ Sister, I am new at this too. I went in for back surgury in January and woke up to no feeling from my hips down. I have had or tried to have a positive outlook as well. My attitude is why waste good enery on bad stuff. A crappy attitude is not going to help me or my family. I believe that being the centre of a great family, wonderful friends and awesome church family, it has helped me alot. Don't get me wrong, I have bad days, and each day is a new one!! It is great that you and everyone else in your brothers life is there for him too. You are right this site is good for info, encouragement, and just knowing that you are not the only one going through this life changing time.

[russ1]

OZ Sister, on May 1 2008, 03:33 PM, said:

We think he is nothing short of inspirational, he thinks he is just an ordinary bloke doing what he needs to do to get the hell out of hospital!

There are so many questions to be answered some I will post soon! The first question though is was anyone else this accepting from the start and if so did it carry through? I just thought that it would be a big crash then a gradual climb to acceptance and independence. I know he has an amazing amount of support from Friends, colleagues and family and all that positive energy and the unfailing belief that if anyone could get through this challenge, it would be him and his wife, and this is a driving force for him. He has taken catheters and bowel programs in his stride and is coping really well with it.

Don’t get me wrong he knows what he has done and he fully understands that it is permanent…he just seems so accepting of it.

Sounds a bit like I was at much the same time - It was something I wondered about at the time but I never changed much - you just accept it and decide to move on, absolutely f all you can do about it now so little point in fighting against it. I can certainly relate to the ordinary bloke sentiment above.

[qbounce]

Honestly, I've always kept a positive outlook, from the hospital rehab days 'til now.
In the hospital everything seemed a bit surreal, though. . . kept wondering when I was going to wake up. I'm sure the pain meds had something to do with that!!

He'll get hit with the loss, eventually. . . we all did/ do. But, with a continually positive nature, it doesn't last long. Don't do the worrying for him . . . he's probably got that covered. Just make it known that you're there to help, and listen to his rants with open ears . . . but only offer advise when asked.

Sounds like he's doing fine, and I'm sure his support group of family and friends rallying around him has something to do with it, too.

[Kwag_Myers]

First of all, welcome. I think you already know that this is a good group of folks.

Secondly, I think it took me awhile before the reality set in. I did most of my crying after I got home from the rehab hospital. It seems to me that most people tend to struggle with it most about two-four months post when the shock wears off and reality sets in. It's easy to take the bad news with a stiff upper lip. But when you have to live it, the lip starts to quiver.

[velogrrl]

Hi Oz Sister, I know exactly what you mean! My brother is still in RPH and I have found that it was almost impossible to get any information at all for the first week or so. Only by camping out in his ward and gradually getting to know some of the nurses I got a bit of info, but I had the same story "you'll find out everything when you get to Shenton Park", which is no comfort for any of us. I have learnt more from this forum than from all my pursuit of the professionals who were looking after him.
My brother has also been really stoic about it all, which some people don't like. He says "OK, this is it, I'm not going to get any use of my limbs back so I want to get on with adapting" and they say "oh, no you mustn't think like that, you must keep hoping, not be in denial". I guess they're trying to help. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I was to find this forum, and what a comfort it has been

[knowthill]

I know there are the people who are able to get through the grief process faster then others. Part of my rehabilitation was sessions with a physiologist. I was placed on an antidepressant for 8 years. My journey includes a pressure sore one week after I was released from rehab.

My point to this babbling is we all have our own path to acceptance. The length it takes is not as important as the end result of accepting each of our particular situations. And as for truly accepting my fate remaining paralyzed from the waist down carries a weird balance. On one hand I have to give up hope of ever walking again and on the other accept the fact and get on with my life.

[Quad65]

I'm glad your brother is quickly coming to terms with the realities of his new life. Every person is different and so are their reactions. I think we've all gone through the 'denial-anger-bargaining-mourning-acceptance' phase to one degree or another. Be aware, there is no set time-table for this and these stages may present themselves at odd times and in odd ways. It's normal. Just offer a soft shoulder and a willing ear.

[Texaswheelz]

It's great he's keeping positive it will make the rehab part go much easier and quicker as he won't be fighting it, but trying to learn as much as fast as he can to move on. I like to think I was that way. It was a downer at the very start, but pretty much the first conversation I had after my injury and being off the pain drugs was with my father who was also my high school football(US football, not soccer), basketball and track coach. He told me that there was 20,000 things I could do before and now there was 15,000 things I can still do. So I had a choice, to mope around about those 5,000 I could no longer do or to get my ass out and do the 15,000 things I was still capable of. I don't know what number I'm on, but I've done more then I thought at I would have been able to at the start of it all. There were of course days that I would think about those 5,000 that I couldn't do, but then I would start trying to get my mind on what I still could do and what I had already done and then get back into the right frame of mind. It is easy to get down and get down far and fast if you allow yourself to, but that goes for both us injured people and people that aren't.

Edited by Texaswheelz, 03 May 2008 - 01:52 AM.

[OZ Sister]

Hi all,

Thanks for all the feed back, I guess it is like anything in life we all deal with things differently.

He is still progressing very well and his getting out and about, he called by with his wife and kids yesterday, and while it was sad to see the effort it took him to transfer in and out of the car it was amazing to think that in just six weeks he is already at this stage and hilarious watching him and his wife discuss the how to do it. (He is VERY independent!) They both have a great attitude!

He also has a guy from our home town who is a quad and doing amazing things coming in to talk Quad bikes with him and just knowing that he can get back on some sort of bike with very little modification and assistance has really given him a lift. (I nearly wrote spring in his step!?!)

Thanks again!

[Andrew Meddings]

hi oz sister i was pretty much the same from day very possitive & in 8 yrs nothings changed . i was over independant at first & wouldnt let anyone help , i would just struggle & persivere. now i dont mind accepting help now & then ( maybe im a bit lazier now ) or just comfortable with the fact i can do it on my own . other people feel good when they help.
are you in australia if so which rehab . i get out to syd & melb from time to time
regards andrew

[OZ Sister]

Hi,

He is in Shenton Park Rehab in Perth, you don't get any option over here it is the one and only and the building is 100 years old this year and they have done little to upgrade the facilities if that gives you any indication of what it is like!

Nice grounds with lots of grass and trees so all is not lost!

I think he will be much the same, once he knows he can do it he will be much more accepting of help.

[Andrew Meddings]

OZ Sister, on May 3 2008, 09:23 PM, said:

Hi,

He is in Shenton Park Rehab in Perth, you don't get any option over here it is the one and only and the building is 100 years old this year and they have done little to upgrade the facilities if that gives you any indication of what it is like!

Nice grounds with lots of grass and trees so all is not lost!

I think he will be much the same, once he knows he can do it he will be much more accepting of help.

get your brother to check out this site . it is very hard getting any usefull info from rehab. are you from perth or a remote area. ive got some deliveries to perth & bunbury in july. good trip accross the nullaboar
regards andrew

[OZ Sister]

Hi Andrew,

I have just been looking on your my space page and you and my brother have a lot in common! From Carts to bikes to Jets skis! I will definately be giving him a look around your site and videos. Will give him even more motivation, though to be honest he is pretty motivated already. He just needs the ribs to heal so he can get moving a bit more with less pain!

I don't think anyone ever considerd him getting on a 2 wheeler again, he is a T6 but I can not see much difference to a T4 or is it Ab muscles? Might be something to look at!

He was in training for the Australian Safari race which he had entered for this year, he was pretty bummed orginally but they have a quad bike class so he is keeping that as an option!

They live in the Kimberlies and are hell keen to get home, they are thinking in about 6 weeks.... I guess time will tell.

[Andrew Meddings]

[

OZ Sister, on May 5 2008, 03:43 PM, said:

Hi Andrew,

I have just been looking on your my space page and you and my brother have a lot in common! From Carts to bikes to Jets skis! I will definately be giving him a look around your site and videos. Will give him even more motivation, though to be honest he is pretty motivated already. He just needs the ribs to heal so he can get moving a bit more with less pain!

I don't think anyone ever considerd him getting on a 2 wheeler again, he is a T6 but I can not see much difference to a T4 or is it Ab muscles? Might be something to look at!

He was in training for the Australian Safari race which he had entered for this year, he was pretty bummed orginally but they have a quad bike class so he is keeping that as an option!

They live in the Kimberlies and are hell keen to get home, they are thinking in about 6 weeks.... I guess time will tell.

i was competing in the condo 750 a lead up race to the safari. when i stuffed up. there is a young para riding a bike in the finke race this year see link below. broken ribs suck, they caused me more pain & greif in hospital than the back but they will heal. my injury level is only slightly higher than your brothers. if he's still in perth mid june when im over there i will drop in to sa hello
regards andrew

YouTube - Aussie Paraplegic rides MX
This is me Isaac Elliott (aka Zacka161) from Alice Springs ...
9 min -
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUo1OFFjRto
YouTube - Isaacs first ride

Edited by Andrew Meddings, 05 May 2008 - 06:46 AM.

[OZ Sister]

Andrew,

Thanks for the links his wife showed up with his 11 year olds just as I was starting the video and he was really excited to watch it. He rides also and him and his dad had heard of this guy through their motor X club at home. It is such a small world!

Kids are dealing with it well but it is great for them to see how much there dad is going to able to do. We also watched the training one you did on your my space page and I think that also helped all of us. Intellectually we know he will be able to do stuff but to see you get around in that chair and do your job it shows it more than words can. Pictures tell a thousand words and all that!

Unfortunately the concrete walls have made it impossible for Dan to see the links himself yet, the internet is just not working there. So I have printed out this post for him and he is keen to get in and have a look around. He was interested in everyones response to the post as he is concerned that things might get tough when he gets home. So all the words of encouragement are great!

Keep us posted on when you will be in town, he is going to have the op to get the steel out at the end of rehab so he will now be around a little longer!

Shelley

[Emily C]

HI, Shelly and Dan

My best to you both and Dan and his family.
My situations a bit different. My Paraplegia comes form illnesses (not an accident) and I started off over 2 yrs. ago by not being able to lift my feet off of the floor. However, I could "scootch" across a small tiled room. On 12/28/07, a new N/S told me "I don't know how to tell u this any easier but, you're a paraplegic". THAT'S when it HIT. Yes, I cried, and have had to continue my 24/7 Aid services but it (sadness)didn't last long. Yes, It's hard, and takes some serious adjusting, but I think that with your brother's postitive attitude, he will prevail!
We all have our good and bad days, I think that's part of the process. It's just good to try and have more good days then bad. But if he does, that's ok too! It's the OVERALL attitude that I think is the most important and it sounds like he's doing well!!
I heard it said once that "If you're a positive person pre-accident, u will be the same positive person post-accident (disease/ illness). I agree, and I'm sure your brother will too!

God bless you all and best of luck!!

Edited by Emily C, 06 May 2008 - 11:44 PM.

[Andrew Meddings]

[quote name='OZ Sister' date='May 7 2008, 08:26 AM' post='59054']
Andrew,

Thanks for the links his wife showed up with his 11 year olds just as I was starting the video and he was really excited to watch it. He rides also and him and his dad had heard of this guy through their motor X club at home. It is such a small world!

Kids are dealing with it well but it is great for them to see how much there dad is going to able to do. We also watched the training one you did on your my space page and I think that also helped all of us. Intellectually we know he will be able to do stuff but to see you get around in that chair and do your job it shows it more than words can. Pictures tell a thousand words and all that!

Unfortunately the concrete walls have made it impossible for Dan to see the links himself yet, the internet is just not working there. So I have printed out this post for him and he is keen to get in and have a look around. He was interested in everyones response to the post as he is concerned that things might get tough when he gets home. So all the words of encouragement are great!

Keep us posted on when you will be in town, he is going to have the op to get the steel out at the end of rehab so he will now be around a little longer!

Shelley
[/quote

hi shelly not sure if you bot my pm or not but i will be in perth between 20th - 23 june. give me a call or text with his details & ill make contact then drop in
regards andrew 0429475786

[Andrew Meddings]

hi shelly. it was good to meet up with dan & paula last week. your right he is a special person. i rang him yesterday & he was glad to be home.
i will be travelling through kunanurra in september so i'll drop in then
cheers andrew

[OZ Sister]

Andrew Meddings, on Jul 5 2008, 03:43 PM, said:

hi shelly. it was good to meet up with dan & paula last week. your right he is a special person. i rang him yesterday & he was glad to be home.
i will be travelling through kunanurra in september so i'll drop in then
cheers andrew

Hi Andrew Thanks for taking the time to catch up, he got some great advice and some good tips, which is what it is all about! He has also decided not to sell his last bike just yet....so I am sure by September he will be ready to pick your Brains about a whole pile of things!

Thanks!

Shelley

[Motor]

OZ Sister, on May 5 2008, 01:43 AM, said:

Hi Andrew,

I have just been looking on your my space page and you and my brother have a lot in common! From Carts to bikes to Jets skis! I will definately be giving him a look around your site and videos. Will give him even more motivation, though to be honest he is pretty motivated already. He just needs the ribs to heal so he can get moving a bit more with less pain!

I don't think anyone ever considerd him getting on a 2 wheeler again, he is a T6 but I can not see much difference to a T4 or is it Ab muscles? Might be something to look at!

He was in training for the Australian Safari race which he had entered for this year, he was pretty bummed orginally but they have a quad bike class so he is keeping that as an option!

They live in the Kimberlies and are hell keen to get home, they are thinking in about 6 weeks.... I guess time will tell.

FOR WHAT ITS WORTH GUYS WITH HARD WORK AND A GOOD ATTITUDE YOU CAN RIDE AGAIN. I STARTED LAST YEAR AND HAVEN'T LOOKED BACK! HERE IS MY NEW RIDE!

RICHIE AKA MOTOR

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