[allis53ca]

....i was asked again today, how have i changed since my accident.....and once again my answer had to be, "not much" and i explained to him, it's those around us that do most of the changing......friends, family, aquaintants etc. seem to magically disappear before the halo comes off....i'm interested to know if this is common with others or just me?............let me edit this, ans say i guess the question shoul be:
"HOW DID THOSE CLOSEST AROUND YOU CHANGE, POST INJURY?"

[hillarymcarter]

I've never thought about this but it is so true! I would say my husband and I have changed somewhat. We are a lot more laid back and appreciative of things. We love each other better than we did before.
It is the people around us that have changed the most though. Many conversations feel awkward now....people don't quite act the same. People who used to get pissed off at us about stuff are suddenly so much more patient and kind. It's kind of sad because we don't really know who is real anymore. I mean we have those close friends who will always say how they feel but then there are the others who are always "overly kind".
Bruce thinks we should create a TV show to see how much a person in a wheelchair can get away with before someone will say something negative to them!

[Simon]

I think you are right. People around change, probably because they (like almost everyone in modern society) are uncomfortable with disability. Remember, phsycologically they have know us when we were 'different'. Suddenly they are faced with not being able to do things they may have done with us before. I know we have the same in reverse to deal with but in some ways its probably easier as we have to deal with.
I know that the shock of my injury caused my mums breast cancer which ultimately killed her 3 years after my injury. The stress of dealing with her son, who she suddenly has to 'nurse' again and still run a household was too great a strain.

[hillarymcarter]

How did stress cause breast cancer? I don't think you caused her to become ill. I'm terribly sorry for you loss...I just hope you don't feel it was your fault.

[Bob Clark]

Hi Simon,

I think you're being too hard on and placing undeserved blame on yourself. Although there are anecdotal situations that on the surface may appear as though stress causes illness or even cancer there's no real proof of it. More than likely your mother's cancer was congenital just like with most women who get it.

Don't make me come all the way over to the UK just to knock some sense into you! But really, don't blame yourself for that. She was your mum and I'm sure didn't mind caring for you and wouldn't have had anyone else do it.

Sorry about your mum's early death though. I still have my mom and I don't know how I'll handle it when she dies. Don't even want to think about it. And her younger sister died from breast cancer too. My mom gets a mammography every year to keep an eye out.

Quote

Some studies have indicated an increased incidence of early death, including cancer death, among people who have experienced the recent loss of a spouse or other loved one. However, most cancers have been developing for many years and are diagnosed only after they have been growing in the body for a long time (from 2 to 30 years). This fact argues against an association between the death ( or stress caused by a severe injury -b.c.) of a loved one and the triggering of cancer.

The relationship between breast cancer and stress has received particular attention. Some studies of women with breast cancer have shown significantly higher rates of this disease among those women who experienced traumatic life events and losses within several years before their diagnosis. Although studies have shown that stress factors (such as death of a spouse, social isolation, and medical school examinations) alter the way the immune system functions, they have not provided scientific evidence of a direct cause-and-effect relationship between these immune system changes and the development of cancer. One NCI-sponsored study suggests that there is no important association between stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one or divorce, and breast cancer risk. However, more research to find if there is a relationship between psychological stress and the transformation of normal cells into cancerous cells is needed.

http://www.cancer.go...eet/Risk/stress

[AHolland]

I change very slowly. First I start with my Socks....

About 6 years ago my mom came down with breast cancer. The doctor said she had 3-6 months to live. Her answer was to take a long trip to the south pacific, Australia etc before she died. Off she went. When she finally came back, there was no sign of the cancer. The doctors could no explain it. She's still nagging me to this day.

I certainly do not think that you had anything to do with your mom's cancer. However, I do think that stress is one of the most dangerous and overlooked conditions we have. My mothers trip acted to drop her stress level and accept the end. What the drop in stress really did, is give her body extra strength to beat back the cancer. Extra stress in one's life undermines the body's ability to help itself and may let problems creep in that otherwise we would beat.

We all wish we could turn back the clock to a time when we were healthy, for those of us that were not born this way. I'm certain you never wanted any of this to happen Simon, and all you can do is look forward to what you can do to create less stressfull times.

[hillarymcarter]

You know, I've always thought it was so strange that the minute someone finds out they have cancer they go straight downhill. I've always thought to myself that if I found out I was terminally ill I wouldn't take treatment and I'd just go out and have a good time. I think mentality can be a driving force in your outcome.

[carolline]

That's what I thought too.And beforehand...you should prepared yourself.Coz women are prone to breast cancer.That's why we have a breast cancer awareness and it was last month.I wore a pink ribbon during the whole month.

[Cloudy]

You know i think everyone changes after the fact. My parents for instance, my father babies me so much its embarassing sometimes. He insists on pushing me when were at the store or anywhere that im moving actually when im fully capeable of pushing myself. I think that people dont know what to do around you. Like a common goodbye would be a hand shake or a hug, and ive had people gingerly touch my hand in a handshake as if im fragile or something. lol Hugging is even worse...lol I think its like meeting someone for the first time, you dont know what there reaction would be if you said something and i think people feel the same way, even if they knew you before hand.

[hillarymcarter]

I think parents just want to take care of you as much as they can. My husband's dad pushes him everywhere too.....it drives me nuts!!! He won't ever let Bruce get in/out of the car without help, he won't let him jump curbs....anything! We ordered his new wheelchair without push handles!!
They just want to take care of their child. I think it is just instinct for them to help. I used to have a problem letting Bruce push himself, but now I'm so tired that I welcome it! I think if they lived here and did all of his stuff like I do they would realize that he needs to do it himself!

[wheelie182]

Quote

I have become more patient with myself and with others. I was easily frustrated at first, now I almost never get frustrated

what?!

That can't be true, i always get frustrated, like theres nothing worse than coming down form upstairs on my stairlift, then sending it back, (because if it is left down the cat pees on it), and then finding you've left somthing up stairs

wouldn't it be so much easier if you could just run up and get it?

but then again i suppose all you guys don't have stairlifts.......lucky

or disabled parking spots,

or when you get a puncture,

or when the lift is out of order,

or when somone moves your chair,

or when is comes to the daily testicle count, and because your sitting all day they go into hiding, the first one is usually easy to find, and then the second one comes after abit, but the third one.............

[hillarymcarter]

The daily testicle count?? Is there something I should know that we aren't doing????!!!!!
Wow...three....way to go!

[carolline]

hillarymcarter, on Nov 15 2005, 01:35 AM, said:

The daily testicle count??  Is there something I should know that we aren't doing????!!!!!

I thought I rendered my best care for the patients......But counting the testicles on a daily basis....I do'nt even know that...and no one tell me to do that routine.

Can I ask...wheelie???.............why do I need to count it? what's the reason need to count it? :unsure:If it's important to count their testicles...and for the health reasons.........I will start today,counting their balls

Sorry I'm so slow today.......

[Apparelyzed]

Quote

why do I need to count it?

Yeah, I need that doing for me as well, the daily "nut check" after every transfer.

You need to make sure you're not sitting on them, and after transfering, you can bet they've gone into hiding, it's like hunting rabbits!

If you don't pull them up, then with sitting on them all day, you can get an infection in them called orchitis, and they swell up like balloons.

I knew someone who had to have his removed because of infection due to orchitis.

Quote

Orchitis may be caused by numerous bacterial and viral organisms. It is usually a consequence of epididymitis, which is inflammation of the epididymis (the tube which connects the vas deferens and the testicle).

The most common viral cause of orchitis is mumps. Approximately 30 % of patients who have mumps will develop orchitis during the course of the illness. It is most common in boys past puberty, rare before the age of 10. It usually manifests 4 to 6 days after the onset of mumps. In one-third of boys who get orchitis caused by mumps, testicular atrophy (shrinking of the testicles) will result.

For the bacterial causes, please refer to the epididymitis article. Of note, brucellosis is a rare disease in which orchitis develops in 2 to 20% of men with the disease.

Orchitis may also occur in conjunction with infections of the prostate or epididymis and, like those conditions, may occur as a manifestation of sexually-transmitted diseases such as gonorrhea or chlamydia. The incidence of sexually-transmitted orchitis or epididymitis is higher in men 19 to 35 years old.

Risk factors for non-sexually-transmitted orchitis include:

* Inadequate immunization against mumps
* Older age (age greater than 45)
* Recurrent urinary tract infections
* Congenital abnormalities of the urinary tract
* Genito-urinary surgery and instrumentation
* Chronic indwelling urethral (Foley) catheter

Risk factors for sexually-transmitted orchitis include:

* Multiple sexual partners
* Other high risk sexual behaviors.
* History of a sexual partner with a previously diagnosed STD
* Personal history of gonorrhea or other STD

Symptoms Return to top

* Scrotal swelling
* Tender, swollen, heavy feeling in the testicle
* Tender, swollen groin area on affected side
* Fever
* Discharge from penis
* Pain with urination (dysuria)
* Pain with intercourse or ejaculation
* Groin pain
* Testicle pain aggravated by bowel movement or straining
* Blood in the semen

Signs and tests Return to top

Physical examination may reveal tender and enlarged lymph nodes in the groin (inguinal)area on the affected side. It may also show a tender and enlarged testicle on the affected side. A rectal examination may reveal an enlarged or tender prostate gland.

Testing may include:

* A urinalysis
* Urine culture (clean catch) (the provider may request several specimens, including initial stream, mid-stream, and after prostate massage.)
* Tests to screen for chlamydia and gonorrhea (urethral smear)
* A CBC (complete blood count)
* Doppler ultrasound (to rule out testicular torsion). It also can confirm the diagnosis of orchitis by demonstrating increased blood flow to the region as well as characteristic finding of hypoechogenic texture. This study can also detect scrotal abscesses.
* Testicular scan (nuclear medicine scan) may also be obtained to rule out torsion and can confirm the diagnosis of orchitis with increased blood flow.

Treatment Return to top

Medications to treat infection are prescribed if the causative agent is bacterial. Pain medications and anti-inflammatory medications are also commonly prescribed. In the case of gonorrhea or chlamydia, sexual partners must also be treated.

When orchitis is caused by viral agents, only analgesics (pain relievers) are prescribed. Bed rest, with elevation of the scrotum and ice packs applied to the area, is recommended.

Simon.

[wheelie182]

Quote

Can I ask...wheelie???.............why do I need to count it? what's the reason need to count it? :unsure:If it's important to count their testicles...and for the health reasons.........I will start today,counting their balls

well i just do it to make sure their all there, i mean you don't want to lose one do you?

but i don't do it after every transfer

i just do it in the bath,

Caroline.......its ok though, none of the nurses in my hospital would do it, but i know you like providing that extra care......watch you don't lose count though !

[carolline]

whew!!!............I'm tired! I came from work.
Plus the additional counting the nuts...when I gave bath to them.I counted 7 pairs of nuts! Good that no one missing their nuts.And one more thing..when were sitting them out of bed..we put them on a nappy...then secured their nuts and weapons of distraction(for women/nurses) is in safe position..so no worries that it would be stuck under their butt.

Thanks Simon and wheelie for the tips.

Maybe I will be recieve an award ...best counting nuts of the year!!!

errr...wheelie before I forgot....I do'nt have testicles

[dan_nc]

I have never heard about the daily testicle check, but I guess it's very important. My injury's recent, so I'm learning a lot. I mentioned this in other posting, but I had a L1 burst fracture, so I've been wearing a TLSO for a while. It comes down very far into the crotch area and applies a lot of pressure. Especially when sitting the wrong way, it's not hard to see it could injury the testes.

[wheelie182]

Well i say count them, its not really that, i mean that you check to see that theres no damage or swelling, in rehab i never use to check them, and during my stay there i became seriously ill, vomitting sweating etc, and looked down to see that one of my testicleds was like 10x times bigger, and i was rushed to hospital, where i was stuck in a confined room 7ft, 5ft on a trolley 6ft by 2ft, and didn't sleep for 24 hours, just lay there very sick, one of the worst times of my life,

so now i always take more care

[joisliniad]

I never heard of the testicles count, and I am glad I don't have to be the one checking for them either. Are u sure you are counting, or you are just being a teenager?

[wheelie182]

did you read my last post?

[joisliniad]

Sure I did...I was just trying toamke fun of your initial comment

[dan_nc]

wow--that's enough to make me wanna check every hour just to make sure they are okay.

i met this guy in rehab hospital probably right after my SCI. He had all kinds of sores. doctors had to cut them open to drain them. that was enough to make me do my pressure relief several times an hour.