6 replies to this topic

[beebird]

OK, This is my first time on the site... A little background; I was married for 8 "mostly wonderful" years to a really sweet man and we had a little girl. Unfortunately my (ex) ventured off onto drugs and we ended up going our separate ways:( He continued his path (wrong people, wrong places, wrong things) and I remarried and had 2 more children. To make a long story short my ex ended up with a C5\6 injury. He has very limited mobility of his arms and wrists with no movement in his fingers and biceps; therefore making him unable to transfer ect. He has no family to speak of except myself and our daughter. He is staying in a nursing home as we speak. I am heartbroken for him as he is only 35 years old:( btw - his accident happened on the night her turned 29. He has been in a nursing home since!!!!!! first ? is are there any programs to speak of that will allow him to either have a home of his own with help or long term facilities for people more his age? Second question is he is always complaining of UTI pain and the docs are saying its in his head that all the test show normal results. I'm sure i'll have more ?'s but i will start there:( PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tired of hurting]

I can't answer first question because I'm not sure where you are? 2nd UTI pain is usually bladder spasms, if there isn't an infection.If it is spasms,very painful... I found out about them in a wheelchair group,men and woman have these problems. In Ca. we have "In House Support Services". People get so many hours depends on needs. Other programs for low income places for disabled person.

[beebird]

We are in louisiana. He had no insurance at the time of the accident and obviously he can't work now:(

[eleanorigby]

beebird, on Jun 18 2008, 06:06 PM, said:

We are in louisiana. He had no insurance at the time of the accident and obviously he can't work now:(

Have you contacted vocational rehab, they might know of some programs that could help him. Here's the link: http://www.dss.state...bilitation.html

As for the UTI, if test aren't showing an infection it must be something else. UTI pain (in my experience, so maybe it differs with other people) is just a burning sensation and a slight amount of discomfort in my bladder. It can cause fever and increased spasticity, but I've never heard of a UTI causing pain to the point of needing pain meds. Is he requesting antibiotics or pain meds? If he's asking for pain meds, something is strange there. He may need a ultrasound to make sure his bladder is normal (no kidney stones or anything that could be hurting him) and if it's spasms, then he may need a higher amount of baclofen (or whatever muscle relaxant he's on).

[beebird]

I'm not sure of what meds he is on!! What the docs say is that its his inability to deal with his addiction issues. I'm so lost as what to do for him i could scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna help him and with "our" past with his drug use i just don't know whats true and whats not???? I don't wanna do like the so called medical professionals do and just overlook his "pain" as possible relapse, detox or whatever it is they think, and really know he is suffering... Thats my biggest fear:(

as for the help on vocational rehad, thanks i will def. Try on monday morning!!!!

[sunflower]

beebird, on Jun 20 2008, 03:39 PM, said:

I'm not sure of what meds he is on!! What the docs say is that its his inability to deal with his addiction issues. I'm so lost as what to do for him i could scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna help him and with "our" past with his drug use i just don't know whats true and whats not???? I don't wanna do like the so called medical professionals do and just overlook his "pain" as possible relapse, detox or whatever it is they think, and really know he is suffering... Thats my biggest fear:(

as for the help on vocational rehad, thanks i will def. Try on monday morning!!!!

Hi, in regard to the community programs versus a nursing placement. It would be a good idea to call the social services agency in your area and ask for a referral to any organizations that have resources for those with disabilities. I am in California and we have the Department of rehab which funds Independent living centers in all counties of the state. Perhaps you have an idependent living center in your area that can assist you. I can only speak for California but you may get some ideas ... When someone is on Medi-Cal (California's verison of Medicaid), they may qualify for In Home Supportive Services (IHSS) depending on the needs, they we will be approved for X amount of hours of in home care, mainly custodial care (housing cleaning, cooking, caths, bathing). They may also qualify for In home operations (IHO) which provided additonal help. Does the nursing home has a social worker? Also, does he get out of the nursing home much? Check to see if your area has "paratransit" ... public transportation for disabled. I hope I have given you helpful information. Best wishes.

[beebird]

Thank you soo much for the interest and advice. I ceretainly appreciate all i can get!! I only wish i could do more to help, but like the last 6 years i seem to get nowhere and am only able to help by visiting and staying interested.

If only i were educated in the law or anything that could help him get some of the help he needs.

Any additional information would ceretainly be useful

I can't explain how helpless i feel for him;( if only i could use his hands for him or help fill his days with joy.. I see the depression all over him everyday everytime i see him and it just eats me alive... He is the sweetest person you could ever meet and doesn't deserve this life...

I keep trying to look at it as god only knows why, but i , me, my "our" baby girl just can't get it? Uhhhhggghhhh i'm sooo fed up with this