8 replies to this topic

[BCP]

My friend is a C3-4 quadriplegic, living in an "independent" apartment/home for quadriplegics in Oregon. He just told us that he has had about $1,000 worth of Morphine stolen from him over the last 1 1/2 years he has lived there. He has gone "Cold Turkey" off his Morphine due to this and is in severe pain. Just yesterday, the caregiver came in to get him out of bed, but failed to feed him and did not return until 2 or 3 p.m. He had been calling for help, but no one came to help him. He has no family or friends that he can live with, or who can take care of him. He is only in his late 30's/early 40's and does not wish to live in Nursing Home already. I am just feeling awfulf for him as I feel he is being taken advantage of and neglected in some sense. He is too afraid to tell the supervisors or owners of this major independent housing program for quadriplegics for fear of gettign kicked out and fear of retaliation. Any ideas?

[qbounce]

Sounds like he needs to find a new place to go. I'm sure a friend or family members can help research other nursing homes in the area that might better suit his needs. Seems to me just about ANY other facility would be better than where he is now!!

Let me know how things progress.

[BCP]

qbounce, on Jul 7 2008, 10:56 PM, said:

Sounds like he needs to find a new place to go. I'm sure a friend or family members can help research other nursing homes in the area that might better suit his needs. Seems to me just about ANY other facility would be better than where he is now!!

Let me know how things progress.

Thanks...he lives about 3 hours from me...he's in Portland. I'm really the sister of his 1st caregiver, who happens to be the woman who saved him from drowning when he had his injury 7 years ago. She could not handle the 24 hour care anymore...but he is like "family" to us now...only we cannot afford to care for him, nor do we have any space. I don't even know where to look to help him. He is so depressed and even suicidal at times (tries to bite his wrists and has been to the hospital for wound care.) He wants nothing to do with living in a nursing home, sharing a room with a man twice his age. He's so depressed that he doesn't even try to find something different. I'm sick to my stomach over this.

[In The Wind]

report, report, report. I dam sure would. As you can see, this is as much for his mental health as well as his physical well being....

Edited by In The Wind, 08 July 2008 - 10:18 AM.

[doublelibra]

This should br reported FOR SURE, but this gentleman needs to consult an attorney! Whenever I have had situations where I was victimized or mistreated I have had an attorney to help me make the complaints through proper channels, and to prevent any kind of retaliation. Your friend's emotional health and self-esteem will improve if he stands up for himself and gets out of the victim's role. THIS CAREGIVER HAS COMMITTED CRIMES.
His community probably has a Legal Aid Society, Law School, or he can try the Bar Association if he can't afford an attorney. Maybe you can help him start this process.

doublelibra

[BCP]

doublelibra, on Jul 8 2008, 04:14 AM, said:

This should br reported FOR SURE, but this gentleman needs to consult an attorney! Whenever I have had situations where I was victimized or mistreated I have had an attorney to help me make the complaints through proper channels, and to prevent any kind of retaliation. Your friend's emotional health and self-esteem will improve if he stands up for himself and gets out of the victim's role. THIS CAREGIVER HAS COMMITTED CRIMES.
His community probably has a Legal Aid Society, Law School, or he can try the Bar Association if he can't afford an attorney. Maybe you can help him start this process.

doublelibra

I knew I joined this forum for a reason; to get help from people who have experienced (or know of people who have) what my friend is going through. We will be following up with all your suggestions. Thanks so much. Keep the ideas flowing.

[cer221]

He should try to talk to a social worker. They will give him some ideas of what the state of oregon can help him with.

[jetski]

Hello. Your friend sounds as if he really, really needs some friends. Perhaps some of us on this list can become something of an activist group for him. One can do a lot with a telephone.

First agency to check with in the Portland area, if thats close to him is the LUTHERAN SOCIAL SERVICES. They have special units for dealing with situations such as your friend is experiencing, plus they would not require that he divulge who was treating him in such a manner.

I'll bet qbounce and I could get a little something done, eh mate?

jetski

[E-DOG]

I am living in what's called an unlicensed board and care. there are many like it in my area (near the VA hosp. in Long Beach, CA)
this particular VA is famous for it's SCI care and rehab so there are many like me in the area.
I have no family and for me it's a little to early in my carreer as a chair jockey to get out on my own so a b & c is just what the doc ordered.
Care givers, buy a house w/ 2-4 extra rooms, let paras 'n quads live there. Room and board is fairly reasonable. The real money comes from the Govenment for the care they give.
Most disabled in the states get a dole, plus maybe something for the caregivers.
Someone needs to research what this guy can squeeze from the resources at hand, then look into some kind of housing. Preferably in an area that has lots of us around.
A for a good choice of reputable care
B for viable housing, food, etc.
C get the police envolved, set up a sting action against the c************ who's snaggin' his shit and take his ass down BIGTIME!
BUT I MEAN NOW NOW NOW NOT WHENEVEEEER!
This whole scenario sucks from the getgo. If the guy is too much of a wus to stand up for himself (Some of us are, we'll get into why at a later date if you really feel it's important) then someone close by with a little heart needs to give a hand.
What it will cost, is time.
People will more readily give up money than time. Takes a real friend to give up his time for someone else.
We're a selfcentered bunch, most of us humans. No?
E