9 replies to this topic

[HannahBunny]

Hi,

Have recently started dating a wondeful man who is T12 incomplete. He is fairly honest about anything I ask him, but there is one question I just can't bring myself to ask and that is the toilet business,..

bascially, I'm wondering if all Para/Quads are unable to feel when they need to go and need to carry out a routine? or are some para's able to control their bowel motions and sense when they need to go?

I don't mean to upset anyone, but I'm just too nervous to ask the new man I am seeing I went to the loo at his place the other day and the seat was up, which I was amazed at as I thought he would have had to sit,..

[jetski]

Hi Bunny. I am a c-7, t-1 & t-2 incomplete. I used to be a complete for the first 2 years. I am now a walking quad. At the time of being a complete, I had to depend on other people for all my toilet needs. But as I began the transition I gained control over my bowels and bladder. It was not easy and was one of the biggest battles I have had so far.

But today, I am in control of all these issues. I would suggest that you engage your friend in a comparison conversation and then brig up the subject using yourself as an example first. This will or should open the door for him.

Hope you succeed.
jetski

[Emily C]

Hi, Hannah

I'm a low para and I can feel the need and urge to go, but my condition isn't from an accident, it's a congenital situation. The best of luck with your relationship-I wish you all of the best!!

[Kwag_Myers]

Everyone's different. I'm a T-12 Incomplete and cannot tell when my bladder is full, so I have to go every four hours, be mindful of how much fluid I take in, and watch the caffeine ('cause it makes you go more). But I know there are other T-12's that can feel thier bladders.

As for bowels, we just go every day, so it’s usually not an issue. However, some of us have accidents anyway.

Also, there are different ways to cath, so your friend may be using a leg bag, or indwelling cath. He wouldn’t need to sit down with either of these.

Edited by Kwag_Myers, 14 July 2008 - 10:35 AM.

[HannahBunny]

Kwag_Myers, on Jul 14 2008, 10:34 PM, said:

Everyone's different. I'm a T-12 Incomplete and cannot tell when my bladder is full, so I have to go every four hours, be mindful of how much fluid I take in, and watch the caffeine ('cause it makes you go more). But I know there are other T-12's that can feel thier bladders.

As for bowels, we just go every day, so it’s usually not an issue. However, some of us have accidents anyway.

Also, there are different ways to cath, so your friend may be using a leg bag, or indwelling cath. He wouldn’t need to sit down with either of these.

An indwelling Cath is?? Sorry, I'm just new to all of this

[KennyB]

An indwelling cath is a catheter that you leave in for days at a time and it is connected to a leg bag that you empty into the toilet.
My injury is about the same level and I cannot tell when I have to urinate or have a bowel movement. After being in a chair for a while you just get to know when you have to go cause it all depends on what you eat and how much you drink. I use an intermittent catheter. This means that each time I need to empty my bladder I insert a catheter and drain my bladder into a plastic container that I then dump into the toilet. I only sit on the toilet when I need to have a bowel movement. The reason I don't sit on the toilet all the time is because it is hard to pull pants up and down. Also if I am at a friends house or anywhere not at my home the toilet is usually low, or hard to get close to which would make for a difficult transfer.
Hope this helps and good luck with your new man. I'm sure if you stay with him for a while you will be able to ask him all about this kind of stuff.

[qbounce]

Hannah, I use an Intermitant Catheter (IC), that drains directly into the toilet. With the seat up, the end of the catheter hangs further inside the bowl. Actually, you'll find us wheelchair guys have better aim than AB guys, with no mess around the toilet to clean up after.

Busy little poster aren't we . . . and I DO mean WE!-lol

[Dave Bishopstone]

Hi HannahBunny

Best advice is, don't be nervous - ask your man, he will appreciate your openesss and honesty in wanting to know!

All the best to you both for your future life together

[ronz8674]

Hi Hannah
Its all been said openness is the main thing and we are all different as far as bladder/bowel goes just good luck and all the best to you both in the future. Ron

[gsp23]

And if you havent asked him yet... you will find that most of us are very open to the subject. Spend enough time around a group of people like us and this subject always seems to come up. It has come up more than once at the bar after hockey practice or in the locker room, its just a subject that most of us dont find as personal and embarrasing as AB do for some reason. Probably from everythign we had to go through to get here with the instruction from nurses on how to do it and the assitance from nurses before we were able to do it on our own

And for another persons feedback... I can tell when my bladder is full and have some control over it. For this crowd I would say I have bladder control, although to an AB it might not seem that way. Bowels, I just do every other day and like someone said, there can still be accidents.