16 replies to this topic

[bluebutterflyrn]

Just want everyone to please remember my love in your thoughts and prayers.

He is in the hospital, deathly ill. He is septic with a urinary tract infection as well as his wounds are infected with psuedomonas, a very bad bug. He has not felt well for the past couple of weeks, and the rehab facility knew this, even had the abnormal lab to prove it, but did nothing about it.

Since I'm not there anymore, my hands are tied as far as his medical condition. A good friend of mine that still works there told me how bad he really was (he wouldn't tell me on the phone because he knew that I would be worried sick). I contacted his mother who went there to see about him and had him immediately sent to the hospital. By the time he was admitted, he was non-responsive and showing signs of both respiratory and renal failure.

It was then discovered that he had been given a near lethal dose of morphine, not counting the other multiple drugs he was given. He is going through some serious withdrawl symptoms.

I'm so tired, so forgive me if I've mispelled anything or if something doesn't make sense. I'm so heartbroken. I can't imagine life without him. I feel so useless, because there is nothing I can do to help him except sit on the side of his bed and hold his hand and tell him how much I love and need him, and pray to God that he'll wake up.

I've came home for a few hours to try to get some sleep while his family is with him. Please remember us, and I'll try to keep you informed what is going on.

I'll try to get access to a laptop. Thank you so much for your support.

The heartbroken blue butterfly

[carolline]

I"ll pray for both of you.Sad to hear that...and I feel mad to that rehab center.
Maybe the family can do something for them(sue...negligience).Whatever happened...hope you can admit it.It's hard to let go..the one we love.But we cannot hold them forever...if God need to take him.But on the other side of my heart...I hope he will survive...and one day he will wake up.And talk to him always eventhough he's unconscious we know that he can hear you.I feel what you feel right now.And also take care of yourself.

[hillarymcarter]

I will keep you in my prayers.

Worry is a horrible feeling to have. Everyone told me to go home from the hospital because I would be no good to my husband if I was sick but I really believe that if I had not made the sacrifice to stay with him all the time that he wouldn't be here.

I took short breaks to regroup my thoughts but I made sure I was always there for him.

I'm so sorry you both have to go through this.

[carolline]

For bluebutterflyne.................

Footprints

One night I had a dream,
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets ot footprints in the sand;
one belonging to me and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of my life flashed before me,I look back and at the footprints in the sand.I noticed that many times along the path of my life,there was only one set of footprints.I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life.

This really bothered me,and questioned the lord about it,
LORD,you said that once I decided to follow you,you walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,there is only one set of footprints.I dont understand why in times when I needed you most,you would leave me.

The LORD replied,My precious,precious child,
I love you and I would never ever leave you during your times and trial and suffering,when you saw only one set of footprints,it was then that I carried you....

[Catucci]

Dear Blue Butterfly

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this awful time. Stay strong for him girl I know you will, he needs you more than ever right now. I'll pray for some better news real soon.

xx Cat xx

[joisliniad]

We will be praying for him and you. I hope the best happen for you and him. Be positive, and God stregnth will cover you and will make you as strong as it is needed. Make sure to take turns soyou won't get burn out. Take care...

[bluebutterflyrn]

I have some good news. My love is slowly beginning to wake up. He knows who I am and that I'm there with him. Renal function is much better, acute renal failure has reversed. Respiratory status is some better, but respirations are still very shallow. The worst part right now is the withdrawl from so many medications, especially the morphine. We had to restrain his hands because he keeps trying to pull out his central line, and he seems to be having some very wild dreams and hallucinations. Thank you so much to everyone for there thoughts and prayers, and please continue them, we have a long ways to go. Thanks for remembering me also, I know I need rest, especially since I have lupus (an auto-immune disease that can attack multiple organ symptoms. This is a story in it's own, I belong to a forum myself for this disease). Stress causes the disease to "flare", and I can't imagine being anymore stressed. I did catch a good nap today, I fell asleep with my head lying on the side of his bed.
Hillary, I just want to personally praise you for staying with your husband and taking such good care of him. So many people would have left him already. He is very blessed to have you.
Carolline, thank you so much for the footprints enclosure. I had a good cry when I read it, and I really needed that. Yes, the rehab facility is in some serious trouble. Not only will there be a lawsuit, but state and federal officials may have the facility closed.
Thanks again, everyone. I'll keep you posted on his condition.
much love, the tired blue butterfly

[Jodi]

Blue Butterfly, I am so pleased that you had some good news to share about your love. You are both in my thoughts and prayers. You know as well as I do that patients who are loved and supported always do much better. He is lucky to have you. Keep us posted.

[ASHLEYTHOMPSON]

bluebutterfly,
My husband was in a similar situation 2 years ago. Septic, in renal failure, infected wounds, severe severe severe uroseptsis. I know its hard. hang in there. Also, make your presence known at the hospital. All of Johns nurses hated me because I made sure every T was crossed. I made sure they turned him, if they were a minute late, i rang the busser etc. Sometimes I had to take matters into my own hands. All the staff knew that I was a nurse so they knew that I would make sure they were doing there job. I'll be praying for the two of you. You arent alone. We've all been there and know exactly how it feels to sit and watch the one you love suffer.

[bluebutterflyrn]

Hi everyone. My love is still hanging in there. Respiratory status is much better today, and withdrawl symptoms are finally starting to lessen. He is hurting like mad though, the only pain med they will give him is Darvocet. That's a big difference from high doses of Morphine. Still not able to eat anything, everything makes him sick. He's getting IV Vancomycin and Zoysn and they are both hard on your stomach. I finally feel relieved, I think everything is going to be ok, just going to take a while.
Ashley, thanks for the encouragement. Yeah, the hospital staff has probably placed me as #1 on the nightmare family list. I've given them a very hard time, but I want my loved one to be properly cared for, that's why he's in the shape he is now. I think when they found out I was a nurse they really stepped it up. I had to stop one of the nurses when they went to flush his central line because they were going to use a syringe so small it would have blowed the tip of the line. It's a scary thought that some of these nurses ever got there license. Nowdays if you go in the hospital you better have someone with you that has some medical knowledge, or no tellling what will happen to you.
I'll keep everyone posted with the latest.
Much love, Blue Butterfly

[Jilly]

I think you are doing a fantastic job of looking after your man, the hospital staff should be doing everything properly anyway and shouldn't need chasing along whether their patients or their familys\friends are in the medical profession or not. I think its absolutely disgusting the way things lapse...it only results in problems later on and discomfort for the patient...These are PEOPLE they are caring for here!! and they should be giving 100 percent!
My man broke his leg a couple of years ago and spent time in hospital, he couldn't get to the shower or toilet and they didn't even help him wash! not even a sponge bath! Or even a wet face cloth! They were very lucky that I wasn't around back then!!!
So.....keep it up.....and feel proud of yourself.....
I'm sooooooo pleased for you both that he is improving.......best of luck!

[DrewsLou]

Blue....
Hang in there girl!! I know how hard it is... I've been the smiliar situations with my husband. Keep on the nurses to make sure he is getting the care that he needs and make sure to take care of yourself! He needs you!
Your in my prayers....

[bluebutterflyrn]

Hi everyone. Thanks again everyone for your thoughts and prayers, I know God is answering them because my love is still improving. I know he is doing alot better, because he is so GRUMPY. I know he is very uncomfortable. He keeps sinking to the middle of the bed and is too weak to pull himself up right now. And he hasn't had a cigarette in a week, so he's having a major nicotine fit. I told him that he better not start back, because I was tired of trying to help him when we wasn't even trying to help himself. The doctors have warned him for a long time about how much he smokes (close to 2 packs a day). Anyway, I've came home tonight to sleep since he is much improved. (I feel like I'm getting sick, and I've got to work this weekend) Surely the hospital staff can manage for a few hours, besides they know I'll be calling to check on him and I will be back if anything is wrong. I should send the hospital a bill for training/baby-sitting services for their staff. Ha!Ha!
Much Love, Blue Butterfly

[mish62]

Dear Blue Butterfly

You are all going through so much.

You are all in our prayers

Michelle

[Joed]

Hi BB....

I'm just now seeing this, and am so relieved to get to the bottom and read that he is beginning to recover. I pray it continues.

Remain strong and continue to take good care of yourself too.

[bluebutterflyrn]

Hi everyone. Sorry it's been a few days since I let you know anything. He's doing alot better, probably be discharged sometime this week. The problem is where he will be going then. I want to bring him home with me, but his family is having a fit about it. I just don't understand what the problem is. Why would you want to institutionize someone when they having someone who is madly in love with them and willing to do whatever it takes to care for them, and that person also happens to be a nurse? Sounds like a good set-up to me. And of course when my family found out all hell broke loose. I didn't realize how judgemental and close-minded my family was. So goes the story of my life- I've finally found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and can't right now, my family has disowned me because of it, I'm worried sick about where he's going and the care he'll receive, and I'm exhausted from going back and forth to the hospital and trying to work 2 jobs and trying to fight off pnuemonia I've battled already four times this year. And the only support I get is from all of you at this site. I just want to thank all of you for listening to me and supporting me. Please remember us!
Much love, the tired and stressed blue butterfly