Tired Lonely Depressed Wife

Tired Lonely Depressed Wife Rate Topic:

#1 WHEELZ65

Lurker

Group: Members
Posts: 2
Joined: 27-July 08
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:C6

Post icon Posted 27 July 2008 - 06:37 AM

New to this sight - I'm the wife! We've been married 9 years and I'm so burnt out. Just wanting to introduce myself and make some friends. I can't complain about my husband because he has the greatest attitude even after 20 years as a quad - just the other day he was so excited to see a hummingbird outside - always smiles and is so 'nice'! Really - the greatest guy in every way! But I'm lonely and so depressed and guilty.
- cathy

#2 qbounce

Advanced Member

Group: Members
Posts: 3,727
Joined: 18-May 07
Gender:Male
Country:So. California
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:C6/7 Complete

Posted 27 July 2008 - 08:37 AM

I'm guessing your his fulltime carer? Sometimes people change (meaning you) and when you realised that your happiness is just as important as your significant others, then you have to do whatever it takes to find it and get it back.

Have you both been to a marriage counselor? Or are you feeling guilty for having fallen out of love with him, and the implications that go with that?

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

#3 doublelibra

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 1,027
Joined: 15-August 07
Gender:Female
Country:Nebraska
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:C6-7, MVA 1991

Posted 27 July 2008 - 09:16 AM

If you are his caregiver, can you get outside help? Do you have female friends? I am disabled myself, but I know that for me, my female friends are a great source of support. Does he have his own friends? Maybe you are together too much. No one, in my opinion, can satisfy all the needs of another person.

doublelibra

#4 china

Newbie

Group: Members
Posts: 104
Joined: 17-July 08
Gender:Female
Country:wales
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:engaged to T4/8 para

Posted 27 July 2008 - 02:35 PM

Hi i'm china, and i to find it lonley. My partner dosen't want to go out anywhere, and since moving to a new area, i have no friends. I have suffered with depression for a long while and dont like going anywhere on my own, and since losing my mam last year just wanted someone who i could talk to, so thats why shaun (my partner) got me this laptop, (even though i'd never used one before). Just knowing that you'r not on you'r own will make all the difference, that there is always goin to be someone you can have a chat to. Don't feel guilty you only human after all.

hope things get better soon x

#5 kdenon01

Member

Group: Members
Posts: 400
Joined: 23-January 08
Gender:Female
Country:Michigan
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:Wife/Caregiver of c5-c6

Posted 27 July 2008 - 04:15 PM

Sometimes...actually a lot of times marriages fail. SCI or not. I think if it is the SCI that is straining your relationship you really need to look deeper and find out why. Do you have time for yourself? Is it too difficult for you to be his caregiver? Etc. Or maybe it has nothing to do with his SCI. Maybe, just like a lot of other marriages, something else is causing you to feel this way. Nine years is a long time, and maybe a lot of things have changed since you married him. It happens.

#6 emerson

Newbie

Group: Members
Posts: 25
Joined: 25-July 08
Gender:Female
Country:Chicago, IL
Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:GF of T5 complete

Post icon Posted 27 July 2008 - 04:59 PM

Hi Cathy

You are at the right place. Everyone here willl help you feel connected and NOT alone. I feel very lonely sometimes because my friends and family have a hard time relating to our lifestyle. We get left out, it's never personal, but it happens.
You shouldn't feel quilty, you have a right to your feelings. You do need to take care of YOU, otherwise you will snap. You need a much deserved break! Do you have a sister or friend who you can take a long weekend trip with? it works wonders.

Emerson