Texaswheelz, on Aug 2 2008, 09:27 AM, said:
Working in retail I get this from customers daily and even some of my co-workers. I normally just say "Yep it's nice, to bad ya can't though." I've had co-workers bring chairs up behind the register and sit down between customers, they figure that since i got to sit down all day that they should be able to also. Other then that I don't have a choice, when I work the register, I'm behind a lower counter and people can normally still see me if they are paying attention. When they sit behind the counter, they do it behind their station that is as tall as my head and meant for people to stand at and customers can't see them and they can't see customers. I find it amusing and it's a easy way for management to see who the slackers are.
Kids don't bother me at all, it's there parents that drive me nuts. Kids are just curious and the only way they end up being ignorant adults is when they have parents that don't let them ask questions. I'd say about 80% of the parents shush their kids when they hear them ask me a question about what happened or why I'm in a chair. The other 20% don't mind at all and you can tell a huge difference in these kids. Their normally smarter because they are allowed to ask questions and have parents who answer instead of just shush em or answer with "because". Several times I've seen whisper to their parent asking about me and the parent will tell them to ask me and not them if they want to know. Always makes me smile. On the other hand when it happens and the parents shush em, which is the norm, I get irritated and normally I'll tell the kid anyway while the parents stand there with a bad fake smile on their face.
Last weekend I went with some friends to watch a MLS soccer(sorry to you football guys in other countries) match, LA Galaxy was in town with Beckam, and my friend has been his kids soccer coach from the age of 5 or so and he's 14 now, their whole family are huge soccer nuts. After the game everyone was standing around waiting for Beck to come out of the dressing room and get on their bus, I was setting on the side of the road about 20 feet away(to me he's just a guy that kicks a ball around for a living, but everyone else was going nuts). There was about 10 feet of space between me and the crowd surrounding the bus and people where walking by nonstop on the way to the parking lot. This one kid comes by with his Dad and he was probably 4 or 5 and as they were walking to me he was looking me up and down. When he got close enough he asked "What happened, did you hurt your back, you can't walk?" His dad didn't even hear him so he didn't slow down and was holding the kids hand so the kid couldn't stop either. I quickly said "Yep your right, that's exactly what happened". Now about 5 feet passed me with him walking sides ways and looking back at me he ask "So are you ok, I mean are you ok with it?" and gives me a thumbs up. I was dumbfounded I'm never asked that by adults, they always assume my life is horrible and I wish it was different. So I didn't say anything, i just gave him a thumbs up back and he got this huge smile on his face and raised his thumb higher, then turned back around and disappeared into the crowd. About 5 minutes later Beck came out, poised for pictures and signed a few balls and shirts and other junk for the crowd, but I think I ended up leaving there smiling and happier then any of those people that he signed for, just from that short brief experience with some kid.
Hey Texaswheels, so nice to hear about you're positive experience! Personally, kids don't bother me at all either; it's the adults that worry me. I've found that at least 95% of stupid comments and such are from adults and people who are generaLLy old enough to know better. If a child stares incessantly at me in a restaurant, stores, etc., I'll oftedn ask them to ask questions. I'd rather have open communication then assumptions, any time! I did that with the 12-year-old daughter of one of my friends, and she did ask questions, and the girl and I are great friends now.:-)
I totally agreed with you that the ignorant adults are formed by parents who don't let their kids ask questions. One time, in a mall, a little girl came right up and stared at my service dog, then she looked at me when I said "Hello" to her and I could see that she was curious, and before she could say a word, her dad literally dragged her off by the hand! I felt so bad- she seemed like she could have been a nice little girl.Maybe it wasn't a question that she had in mind, maybe it was "Great dog" or something-I get that alot. But her dad didn't let her say ANYTHING; and what do you think she's going to do the next time she meets someone with a disability? Thanks dad!
I do get the comment, "You're so lucky you get to sit down all day" a lot, and I just smile and move on, like you do when someone figuratively puts their foot in their mouth and is silly. These people have no idea- don't even bother with it. If I explained the truth to them, they'd probably blow a few mental circuits anyway trying to figure it out! As a matter of fact, I did choose to be in a chair , because walking for me is hard and slow. However, my chair allows me to be an active participant in life, instead of sitting around and complaining. I'm not the person struggling with a walker or crutches, NOW AM I?? (Just had to get that off my chest. People assume way too much- they assume that a wheelchair, a piece of metal, is the next step to dying. Have they ever considered LIVING and using wheels at the same time?)
Even when someone the apparent age of your shopgirl makes A SILLy comment, at least they're saying SOMETHING to someone else. In this age of social isolation, that's awesome. She overcame a bunch of stranger-danger fears, and spoke up. So there's no reason to be nasty to her. Upon really thinking about it, she will most likely realize exactly what she said.
Enjoy and the best of luck to you in your pregnancy, Lucydog!!
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