[sanman]

Let this be a thread to RANT no explanations, no justifications and definitely no apologies!
A place to let of steam and release...

I'll start:
I hate that my caregiver just announced that she has accepted a job at a clinic and is leaving with immediate effect, thus leaving me stranded.
I hate that today is the 3 year anniversary for my SCI and my body hasn't shown any signs of recovery, if anything it has gotten worse .
I hate that I have lost my career, my fianc'e, most of my friends, and nearly all of my dreams due to my SCI.

OK, that feels better now back to being positive.

[luckymum]

sanman, on Aug 12 2008, 01:27 PM, said:

Let this be a thread to RANT no explanations, no justifications and definitely no apologies!
A place to let of steam and release...

I'll start:
I hate that my caregiver just announced that she has accepted a job at a clinic and is leaving with immediate effect, thus leaving me stranded.
I hate that today is the 3 year anniversary for my SCI and my body hasn't shown any signs of recovery, if anything it has gotten worse .
I hate that I have lost my career, my fianc'e, most of my friends, and nearly all of my dreams due to my SCI.

OK, that feels better now back to being positive.

Hey Sanman il join you this is exactly waht i have been looking for!! i Hate everyday suffering with horrific pain yet people look at me as if i have nothing wrong with me and that i just live like i do and use crutches just for the sake of it the fricking idiots!! It makes me wanna SCREAM my head off!! I hate having to watch my children being looked after and cared for by my friends and family as it should be me playing with them me making them laugh me im there mum i want to be there for them ITS NOT FAIR!! I hate being UESLESS and feeling like i do i want to be a wife mum friend daughter sister like i use to and not live how i have to now!! I want to be PAIN FREE i want to STOP BLOODY MOANING!! I want to go to sleep and NEVER WAKE UP.....Thats my rant over but be warned il prob be back again soon BAD DAY TODAY REALLY BAD!!

[Ches]

I dont understand why some para's need care givers.. others of us are perfectly indepedant?

[hurbshankin]

Ches, on Aug 12 2008, 09:28 AM, said:

I dont understand why some para's need care givers.. others of us are perfectly indepedant?

I wonder the same thing. If I had use of my hands and more of my arms I could get along so much easier. I'm almost envious of paras. I guess it's all relative, perception of a situation varies greatly between individuals.

Hurb

[C Herod]

I hate that my stupid mother in laws dumb ass tells my husband he isn't motivated enough. Like he doesn't want to walk again. He's the one who can't walk not her. She's constantly saying he's gonna walk some day he just has to want it bad enough and be more motivated. I just want to hit her stupid ass for saying that crap. She wants him to do all this stuff, but if I ask her to help me do anything therapy wise she looks at me like i'm crazy.

[Jackiefff]

I hate that i cant wear any type of summer shoe, so ive been just going barefoot.
i hate being starred and guaked at everywhere i go
I hate that im only 19 and I have to be like this FOREVER!
i hate that my mom has to take me everywhere and put me before herself.. as i dont have my vehicle yet..
I hate that most of my friends dont hang out with me anymore. i hate sitting at home on a friday night doing nothing
I hate doing my BP!!! hate hate hate that!
i hate being a inconvience!
i hate everything about being paralyzed!!

[qbounce]

Well, Sh*T, that covers it!

[KarenFerguson]

I hate that hubby & I can't walk hand in hand down the street.
I hate that we get the dreaded "racing" comments a lot.
I hate that I can't go hiking on all the wonderful trails around my house.
I hate that it's hard to get around on the beach.
I hate that hubby has to deal with all the bowel and bladder stuff.
I hate that it's been a year since we started trying to have a baby (not to worry we're both ship-shape ... ug.).
I hate when people try to help us when we obviously don't need help.
I hate it when people stare.
I hate when people make stupid comments thinking they are funny.
I hate it when I can't find a handicapped parking spot in a lot full of empty "regular" spots.
I hate that my left foot has an annoying bump on the top due to muscles pulling it down & it's getting worse.
I hate that because of my left foot, a pair of cute sandals I bought off ebay don't fit as comfy as I want them to.
I hate that I am talked to like a child.
I hate that hubby can't transfer into my Prius easier.
I hate that hubby can't just jump into bed at night.
I hate that we can't be spontaneous.
I hate that I am a stereotype sometimes.
I hate how I can't run up stairs (or down for that matter).
I hate how I'm getting a callus on the side of my right palm - it hurts!
I hate how I can't ride a bike.
I hate how sometimes I feel like a bitter disabled person
& I hate how this list is sooo long.

UG.

This post has been edited by KarenFerguson: 12 August 2008 - 06:42 PM

[Quad65]

I hate that I have so much knowledge and prior experience that I can't put to physical use.
I hate looking at my guitar and knowing what it used to feel like in my hands.
I hate that I can't stand up and rub my sore ASS.
I hate that I can't take a good healthy shit like I used to pre-SCI.
I hate that I can't hang my wang over the toilet bowl and take a complete PISS.

I hate...the list is too friggin' long.

[Soryfam]

I hate people not understanding that I have pain all the time, and that it most likely is never going to be gone.
I hate that I have to wear these legs braces and shoes that will support them.

And most of all, I hate that I get tired so darned easy. What is with that???

Sandy

[sweetie]

I hate when me and my daughter have a row and she say's I ruined her life and left her.
I hate when my other daughter cannot understand that if it's pouring with rain no I do not want to go to town.
And I hate that i can relate to alot of other peoples hates.... :

[reaven85]

I HATE that I do everything and no one acknowledges it!
I hate that no matter what I say or do for him he still complains!
I hate that I HAVE to write everything down now or I will forget something!
I HATE that I have so much to do all the time and very little time to do it!
I HATE that he likes his friends more than me!
I HATE that even when I try my HARDEST to explain my dillemas he yells at me and STILL doesn't get it!
I HATE that I dont get to spend as much time with my girls!!!!
I HATE that he never asks me to do things for him he TELLS me to do them!
I hate that when I ask him to say please or thank you he tells me he doesn't have to!
I hate that I love him and can't leave.
I HATE THAT HE WRECKED!!!!!!!!
ITS NOT FAIR! How the hell did he wreck? HOW on earth did he fly off that cliff? He drives that road everyday?
What on earth was he doing? It was a wide turn? WTF!!! What made him go off the cliff! WHY did the fu**ing seatbelt break it was a brand new car it was only 1 year old I just bought it! I only made one payment!
And finally I hate that he gets the nice vehicle. He gets to pimp out his truck with rims and a system and magnaflow? He wrecked my car. And Im stuck with the soccer mom car thats really small and ugly and doesnt have a working radio. He says thats what I need cause driving it doesnt make guys look? BUT he can drive around in the truck all pimped out?
I need happy pills...lol

[E-DOG]

Ches, on Aug 12 2008, 06:28 AM, said:

I dont understand why some para's need care givers.. others of us are perfectly indepedant?

Some of us just so happen to be fat and lazy, old and crazy, the day is long, the weather hazy.
And I, El Magnifico be gettin' some scratch from da gubment fer bein' all paraliticalyzed an' shit.
Does that explain it?
E

[kdenon01]

I hate that our friends never invite us anywhere.
I hate that I have to be on top when we have sex. Yes. I miss good ol' missionary.
I hate that I have to drive everywhere.
I hate that everyone always thinks I am hubby's caregiver..not his wife.
I hate that my hubby's family always treats him totally different now. If I can get over it, you can get over it.
I hate that we couldn't buy a 2 story house.
I hate that my husband was such a shitty driver.
I hate when you want concert tickets and the ENTIRE handicap section is "sold-out."
I also hate that it takes us AT LEAST 15 min. to leave the house. We are ALWAYS late.

[Stickman]

I hate that I cant play drums like i used to...it just doesnt sounds right with out the bass drum and hi-hat. I've played since i was a little kid, never took advantage of the talent i had.

[kate]

Ches, on Aug 12 2008, 09:28 AM, said:

I dont understand why some para's need care givers.. others of us are perfectly indepedant?

hurbshankin, on Aug 12 2008, 02:40 PM, said:

I wonder the same thing. If I had use of my hands and more of my arms I could get along so much easier. I'm almost envious of paras. I guess it's all relative, perception of a situation varies greatly between individuals.

Hurb

Does it matter? It doesn't, after all, effect how you live your life, it doesn't stop you both from living how you want to.

On topic: I hate that I can't be the woman that my OH deserves.

This post has been edited by kate: 13 August 2008 - 07:52 AM

[Ches]

I hate commenting in a post, where we are encouraged to 'let it out', then being criticized.

This post has been edited by Ches: 13 August 2008 - 10:28 AM

[china]

Quad65, on Aug 12 2008, 08:13 PM, said:

I hate that I have so much knowledge and prior experience that I can't put to physical use.
I hate looking at my guitar and knowing what it used to feel like in my hands.
I hate that I can't stand up and rub my sore ASS.
I hate that I can't take a good healthy shit like I used to pre-SCI.
I hate that I can't hang my wang over the toilet bowl and take a complete PISS.

I hate...the list is too friggin' long.

God the guitar bit realy made me cry, things that us AB's take for granted everyday.
The most simple things.

[dolly]

hurbshankin, on Aug 12 2008, 02:40 PM, said:

Ches, on Aug 12 2008, 09:28 AM, said:

I dont understand why some para's need care givers.. others of us are perfectly indepedant?

I wonder the same thing. If I had use of my hands and more of my arms I could get along so much easier. I'm almost envious of paras. I guess it's all relative, perception of a situation varies greatly between individuals.

Hurb

well i have always wondered this to, seeing as im c6 with no hand function and limited tri's and live completely independantly. I guess its down to your attitude to your sci. I dont hate much cause I still do as much as I can maybe just slightly differently

[evilmac64]

i hate i had to sell my bike to get a lift so i could get in my house i hate that i hate

[pikey]

TODAY:-

I hate the fact that it rains all the time.
I hate the fact that it takes me an hour to go for a @X&%
I hate that my shoulder hurts.
I hate the fact that my mum tells me the same story over and over again
I have ear ache
I want a smoke but I have given up!

[C Herod]

I hate that we didn't put my husband on my insurance because it would have been to expensive. We discussed it days before his accident. Now we can't afford anything.

I hate not being able to go to dinner on the weekends, and take our boys to IHOP on sunday mornings. (can't afford it)

I hate that my husband and I can't stand face to face and give each other a big hug.

I hate that people stare when we go places.

I hate not being able to be spontaneous.

I hate to watch uncle's and grandpa's throw my daughter in the air and chase her around the house playing, and my husband can't.

I hate not knowing if i say the right things to our kids when they aske when our life is gonna be normal again.

I hate that i even know what a bowel program is.

I hate that we can't afford for my husband to drive so he can be independant.

I hate that we will never know what could have been if he would have been able to have had good therapy after his accident.

I hate that my husband feels like such a burden.

I miss the way things used to be. I hate that.

This post has been edited by C Herod: 13 August 2008 - 04:54 PM

[kate]

I hate that the crip world is so full of 'I'm more disabled than you' and 'I manage better than you' people.

[Lucydog]

Call me Pollyanna if you like but I dont hate anything. Mildly irritated maybe but most days I just give thanks for being here and for the fact I wasnt born in a 3rd world country with no clean drinking water, let alone anything else we take for granted. The 'glad game' is a great one to play when you feel down.

[Apparelyzed]

I hate the rain!

[rmorgan]

I'm not going to use the word "hate" ... BUT

I'm sad that he can't use his "hips" like he wants to...thus stranding me on top...

I'm sad that my parents house isn't as accesible as we would like it to be.

I get annoyed always being late to parties, dinner, etc.

I WISH we could be more spontaneous...

I WISH people wouldn't always comment on how great I must be because I'm with Brad...

I'm sad that Auburn Football Season Tickets were sold out in their Handicapped section, due to F-in old and fat people, and that we can't buy "normal" tickets and get them switched same day because they don't allow that anymore...

I'm sad we can't "dance" normally.

I'm sad we can't walk holding hands...

I'm sad I can't just run and jump into his arms...

I'm sad we can't hug standing up...

BUT I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM....including all these things....

[kdenon01]

Rmorgan, I also get annoyed at people telling me how great I must be to be with my husband. It's like...what's that say about you!

[Trinity]

Apparelyzed, on Aug 13 2008, 07:49 PM, said:

I hate the rain!

I realy really really hate the rain. I especially hate the fact that summer is over before it has really begun

I quite dislike people who whinge and moan

[Ches]

I hate people that are constantly miserable and always trying to bring others down, or start some .

[gustifer]

Hate IS a strong word. I would say more like dislike, irritates, disgust, but hate is a lot shorter and easier to say n type, lol.

So what I hate is...
seeing others in pain or suffering, especially the ones you know and/or are closest to.
seeing someone else who is in more pain or suffers more than I, when I'm b!itchin n moanin about what I have to go through.
when someone needs help or is in need of something I can't do or offer.
when someone needs help or is in need of something and others who can help pass by with only their own intrests at mind.
when bad thoughts sometimes race through my mind when going through tough times.
seeing the abuse, we ALL are guilty of from one time or another, the Earth has gone through from the most intelligent and smartest of the children it spawn yet.
seeing someone suffer from their own denial of the life they lived and continue to want to live, in that state.
when I neglect to keep in touch with friends, family, n loved ones when its made so easy to these days.
when I neglect myself and seeing the hurt in the eyes of those around me that it puts them through.

but most of all...
having brainfarts when you think you thought you might of had something to say or do then find yourself sitting there thinking, for 20 wasted minutes, "What was it I was going to...?" Then after going on through the day later finally remeber that it was that Dr's appointment an hour ago or you just leave the room, get into something else, then remember and have to quit whatever to go back n do what you had to in the 1st place. THEN get back to there n forget all over again (that's called a double bubble brainfart). Could be the early onset of Alzheimer's or Dementia...or maybe, just maybe, it could be the medications , lol.