293 replies to this topic

[pikey]

I broke my glasses today and I have only had them for three weeks, more expense ooooh good!

[Tetracyclone]

CrazyLucky

[CrazyLucky]

Thanks, I needed the hug! Feeling a bit better, at least mentally. Double-dosed my cymbalta for a few days...I'm a nurse, so I'm allowed, right?!?!?!

[rue2you]

Pikey - check out zennioptical.com This is where I get my glasses. 3 pair for $59!!

I hate that when I went to Big Lots the other day, and really needed to go - like right now or you know what - that they had an out of order sign on their handicap stall. I thought - whatever, I will just pull in the regular stall and leave the door open and my front wheels wouldn't even go in the door!
My daughter ended up guarding the door and hubby had to come in the ladies restroom and carry me onto the pot! Grrrr.....
My daughter said "This store isn't very considerate are they?" So, at least she is learning compassion for those of us who are challenged. And I'm glad for my strong hubby!!

[wheeliebear75]

Tired of feeling crappy, tired of feeling dopey, tired of feeling crappy, tired of puking, tired of feeling dopey, tired of feeling so F@#$ing crappy!

[guido]

wheeliebear75, on Dec 5 2009, 10:04 AM, said:

Tired of feeling crappy, tired of feeling dopey, tired of feeling crappy, tired of puking, tired of feeling dopey, tired of feeling so F@#$ing crappy!

hey WB - really is that time of year. hang in there and look after yourself. these times pass.

[Tetracyclone]

wheeliebear75, on Dec 5 2009, 05:04 AM, said:

Tired of feeling crappy, tired of feeling dopey, tired of feeling crappy, tired of puking, tired of feeling dopey, tired of feeling so F@#$ing crappy!

Aww, WB, so sad. I feel crappy today too. Out patient surgery on my arm thursday.

How long do we get to feel so ?

As Guido says, surely we will survive. maybe.

P

.

[wheeliebear75]

Hope your arm heals quickly.

I've been having a lot of nerve pain in my butt & legs. It's been making it hard to sleep. And with the raining I've been getting sick to my stomach quite a bit. The meds all take the edge off the pain & keep the nausea to a dull roar but then I'm in a fog. About all I can do is try & stay as busy as possible. Whenever I feel groggy enough I might actually be able to sleep despite the ants I go for the glorious bliss of La La Land........but often I just end up being groggy & yet not be able to sleep. Just being tired as in exhausted from lack of good sleep (apparently I've been sleeping pretty fitful) I think is starting to wear on me. For Christmas I want Santa to bring me a body that doesn't feel like this. Of all the nights Thanksgiving was just one of several nights I've gotten sick. It rained the weekend I was supposed to have my son for an overnight visit but because it was raining I was having a hard time staying sitting & cause I started getting sick he went back home to his father. So I'd say mentally it's just wearing on me. I don't know if anyone else has had pain like this but it is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy & if it seems as though I'm being a wimp or a cry baby my apologies. I had a thumbnail removed with no anesthetic or numbing agent back in 2005 after I got it partially ripped off by my wheel........no balling or barfing........this nerve pain plenty of both.

[Jackie00]

Four months into the worst time in my family's life and I do truly hate that

- My little brother (18) can't follow is same college dreams and that he was stripped of it 9 days before his freshman year.
- I hate that he makes jokes about himself that hurt me.
- I hate that he feels bad about me not being able to study abroad for the fall semester immediately following his injury.
- I hate that both of my parents are now nurses by professional and now must be nurses full time at home (when he comes home from rehab)
- I hate that I think every day how badly my brother didn't deserve this and how physically strong and athletic he was before.
- I hate walking into his bedroom that smells like him and looks nearly how he left it, but he's been absent for 4 months.
- I hate the fact that I don't have the guts to watch a home video of a recent event where my brother was fine.
- I hate that I can do all of the things he cannot, especially knowing he was better than me at a lot of them before.
- I hate that my mom cries all the time.
- I hate the my dad, who I only saw cry twice before this, now cries more often than ever.
- I hate the our F*cking house renovations haven't started yet and that it's all so complicating to begin with.
- I hate being sad and so often remembering once being so happy, making the sadness worse.
- I HATE that the spinal chord doesn't heal like I know we all want it to and that the treatments that I have faith in are still pending rather than confidently available.
- I hate seeing my brother in his chair, with a shaved head, with scars on the front and back of his neck, so skinny, in his hospital bed, and so less exctied by life then he used to be.
- I hate that he can't scratch his own face of push his glasses up.
- And I hate that he says he's getting better and has sensation all over his body that he can't describe and that still, nothing's happening and I fantasize about a day when it does, and it just hurts more than anything.
- I HATE THAT THE BODY IS SO FRAGILE.

[pistol_pete]

In a moment of bitterness while doing some writing therapy, this came out....,

WHAT'S UP DOC?

So I said to the quack
What's up with my back?
What's the situation?

He looked squarely at me
No hesitation I could see
And gave me my classification

You're T4 complete
So have a seat
You're completely f*@ked and busted

You're T4 complete
So take a load off those feet
That's it, you're done and dusted

You're T4 complete
So have a seat
I can't put it any other way

You're T4 complete
So take a load off those feet
You're f*@ked 'til your dying day

You're T4 complete
So have a seat
I'm sorry
I wish I had
A poignant allegory

You're T4 complete
So take a load off those feet
I'm sorry
It's all over baby
End of story

So I said, Thankyou mate
For telling me straight
Without flowers or over gilding

No problem Son
Sorry I had to be the one
To tell you that
The fat lady has left the building.

[allis53ca]

RUE, thankyou so much for this: "Pikey - check out zennioptical.com This is where I get my glasses. 3 pair for $59!!"......

i've been wearing shitty glasses for 6 years because of $$....i got 2 pair in mail today for $40 incl ship and they're great..good quality frames and the Rx is spot on...one pair clear w/clip shade and one pair tinted for driving...and frames, one twist one plastic...perfect...thankyou very much for the link

[The Black Sheep]

My husband and me went down to a local animal shelter to adopt our first kitty together. I got the cat pooper box, the food, the toys, the nip, the beds, yadda yadda, and they wont let me take him home till next week! =( He was my Christmas present.

Ok, that's not really what I am angry about. I'm sad, but I got nervous while we were there and I had to use the bathroom, but I couldn't cath because I'd just touched so many kitties. I hate my body. It just pees whenever it knows I'm in a public situation. (maybe not every time, but this isn't the first) Ugh, now I'm at work and even though everything is fixed, I still feel yucky.

[Ndisc84]

I hate that I can't finish my list without crying so I keep deleting it.
Seriously, tried 4 times, and I'm done. oh god.
I hate that I read some of these lists and I'm horrified and scared.

[steviek]

I hate the fact that my brother is a complete arsehole lol
more later folks

[sorefm]

Ndisc84, on Dec 26 2009, 05:07 PM, said:

I hate that I can't finish my list without crying so I keep deleting it.
Seriously, tried 4 times, and I'm done. oh god.
I hate that I read some of these lists and I'm horrified and scared.

I read your profile and it indicates you were injured 3 weeks ago. When I was 3 weeks post injury, I was hurting pretty bad, doped up pretty good and a long ways from having a handle on my injury.

Those were very grim times and I am so much better now with both recovery, coping techniques and simply understanding my injury and I'm only 8 months down the road.

Tell us what happened and what the docs are saying...

[allis53ca]

i never make new years resolutions......til this year....its to not make the coming year as hard on myself as i did the last...it really sucks when you can't blame a shitty year on anyone but yourself

[qbounce]

allis53ca, on Dec 31 2009, 11:28 PM, said:

i never make new years resolutions......til this year....its to not make the coming year as hard on myself as i did the last...it really sucks when you can't blame a shitty year on anyone but yourself

Sooooo, all the other shitty years you've had were OTHER people's fault??

Welcome to the realization of resolutions!!

[allis53ca]

the other shitty years were just life, and not 100% my doing....this year, 100% my doing

[Scribbler]

Tortfeasors, on Dec 20 2009, 10:18 AM, said:

wheeliebear75, on Dec 8 2009, 06:08 AM, said:

Hope your arm heals quickly.

I've been having a lot of nerve pain in my butt & legs. It's been making it hard to sleep. And with the raining I've been getting sick to my stomach quite a bit. The meds all take the edge off the pain & keep the nausea to a dull roar but then I'm in a fog. About all I can do is try & stay as busy as possible. Whenever I feel groggy enough I might actually be able to sleep despite the ants I go for the glorious bliss of La La Land........but often I just end up being groggy & yet not be able to sleep. Just being tired as in exhausted from lack of good sleep (apparently I've been sleeping pretty fitful) I think is starting to wear on me. For Christmas I want Santa to bring me a body that doesn't feel like this. Of all the nights Thanksgiving was just one of several nights I've gotten sick. It rained the weekend I was supposed to have my son for an overnight visit but because it was raining I was having a hard time staying sitting & cause I started getting sick he went back home to his father. So I'd say mentally it's just wearing on me. I don't know if anyone else has had pain like this but it is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy & if it seems as though I'm being a wimp or a cry baby my apologies. I had a thumbnail removed with no anesthetic or numbing agent back in 2005 after I got it partially ripped off by my wheel........no balling or barfing........this nerve pain plenty of both.

I can relate. I walked for a week on a broken ankle, no biggie. But, the spinal nerve pain and the spasm pain... it's life limiting. I mean, with the broken ankle, no problem, I just ended up crawling at work (--worked with elementary kids, so we were eye level, it was fine!) I have dealt with numerous fractures and anaphylactic episodes and never wanted to go to the doctor (until dragged there when I was stopping breathing...) But, this spinal nerve and muscle pain is wearing me out so much that I sometimes wish I'd just have a higher complete SCI and done with the pain. I would totally trade less function for more pain relief. I was willing to have a risky C1 surgery and end up a vented quad in exchange for pain reduction. I can relate. I have nothing to say to help you, though. More meds, different med combinations, keep trying to find methods of relief. Be vigilant. Don't let doctors dismiss you. Find a way to sleep. I am post 2 Vicodin and 3 Xanax and where am I? 5.15am and online instead of in bed! I can barely see the screen, but I am not in enough relief or relaxation to sleep. I could go on and on and on. But, trust me friend, I care about what you're going through, and I know it's so wearing that you can barely imagine another minute of it Hang in there.

I know where you're both coming from about nerve pain. You may already know I've been injured over, "Half a Century"!! Sounds a long time when its written like that, doesn't it?

I have full sensation all over my body, so can feel every crease in my bed sheet at night, or my trousers during the day. My body aches like mad, but I can put up with all of that compared to the nerve pain I had. Night time was the worst; It was so bad I would scream in agony, trying to move my body for some relief, but it never helped. Nothing helped, until I tried Gabapentin, and within a few days the nerve pain just went.

I'm just one of the lucky ones that got relief from this drug; it doesn't help everyone. I now realise how much pain I was in before, so I can empathise.I still ache like made and also moan about my joint pain; I soon realise I'm lucky that the nerve pain has mostly stayed away as it certainly takes one to the edge.

Good luck to you both.

Mike (Scrib's)

[steviek]

I hate my pot belly
I hate not being able to play football and cricket
I hate not being able to stand tall when out
I hate wetting myself on occasions when I go for a drink with my mates
I hate having to stick my hand up my bum and take an hour to do my bowels
I hate not being able to have sex with my wife doggy/missionary
I hate not being able to orgasm/cum
I hate how much of a pain it is to get out my chair to sit elsewhere like the settee
I hate going out in the rain because I get so dirty and then I have to spend ages wiping my chair down to get back into the house
I hate pavements and how uneven they are

[ClaraTaylor]

I worked my arse off, risked my health my sanity and my relationship. Tried so hard to prove myself capable and made sure that everything that needed doing was done while others just sat there complaining that nothing was done.

And I have been rewarded by having to watch the alcoholic who failed us terribly get the new rank of Sergeant.
Why does she deserve this? Because it'll be nice for her. The respect she'll get will improve her self confidence and stop her turning to drink.

I don't care much for stripes on my shoulder but I would have appreciated a little thank you before the next list of demands was placed upon me.

But I am not sure how I can look at the alcoholic knowing every way she let me down and have to respect her because of her rank.

[greybeard]

ClaraTaylor, on Feb 9 2010, 10:34 PM, said:

I worked my arse off, risked my health my sanity and my relationship. Tried so hard to prove myself capable and made sure that everything that needed doing was done while others just sat there complaining that nothing was done.

And I have been rewarded by having to watch the alcoholic who failed us terribly get the new rank of Sergeant.
Why does she deserve this? Because it'll be nice for her. The respect she'll get will improve her self confidence and stop her turning to drink.

I don't care much for stripes on my shoulder but I would have appreciated a little thank you before the next list of demands was placed upon me.

But I am not sure how I can look at the alcoholic knowing every way she let me down and have to respect her because of her rank.

You're referring to St John's first aid organisation? That's a tough deal, but you know your own worth.

[ClaraTaylor]

greybeard, on Feb 9 2010, 10:43 PM, said:

ClaraTaylor, on Feb 9 2010, 10:34 PM, said:

I worked my arse off, risked my health my sanity and my relationship. Tried so hard to prove myself capable and made sure that everything that needed doing was done while others just sat there complaining that nothing was done.

And I have been rewarded by having to watch the alcoholic who failed us terribly get the new rank of Sergeant.
Why does she deserve this? Because it'll be nice for her. The respect she'll get will improve her self confidence and stop her turning to drink.

I don't care much for stripes on my shoulder but I would have appreciated a little thank you before the next list of demands was placed upon me.

But I am not sure how I can look at the alcoholic knowing every way she let me down and have to respect her because of her rank.

You're referring to St John's first aid organisation? That's a tough deal, but you know your own worth.

Yeah, The special SJA filled with at least 90% broken people.

I'm having a grumpy evening and can't seem to shake it.
Wish I could join the red cross.

[Travelling Blackbird]

Just got back out of hospital. Skin infection. Better-ish now. Will be fine. Heating was off while I wasn't here, flat is cold....it's snowing again...

Gimme Steam! :op

I'm in a vile humour...

[ray_m]

I'm in on hating the BP. Man do I miss a good dump!

[S&W Winger]

I've been most hating not being able to bend down and pick up my Yorkie...and hating not being able to sit on the floor and play with her...

...and then, just last week (after me away for six months and home now for six)...she stood up on her hind legs and handed me a little squeek toy...just placed it right into my hand...I threw it as far as I could (from living room into my bedroom) and she ran, merrily yipping and yapping to get it...she danced and romped back with the toy, so happy and cheery...then jumped up again and placed it back into my hand...thus we played for awhile, then she wanted a treat that I carry in my side pocket...

...so now we play some every day that I am out of bed...


...there's so much that I hate about this new, different, hostile, utterly frustrating Life, that I could write a hate book...but not playing with Kali was really upsetting me...she had saved my Life preSCI by waking me from several sleep apnea episodes, so guess she never ceases to amaze me...

[wheeliebar1]

dolly, on Aug 13 2008, 04:02 AM, said:

hurbshankin, on Aug 12 2008, 02:40 PM, said:

Ches, on Aug 12 2008, 09:28 AM, said:

I dont understand why some para's need care givers.. others of us are perfectly indepedant?

I wonder the same thing. If I had use of my hands and more of my arms I could get along so much easier. I'm almost envious of paras. I guess it's all relative, perception of a situation varies greatly between individuals.

Hurb

well i have always wondered this to, seeing as im c6 with no hand function and limited tri's and live completely independantly. I guess its down to your attitude to your sci. I dont hate much cause I still do as much as I can maybe just slightly differently

I hate judgemental posts like these. Why do people even have to post these? You don't know the situation! I am a T4 para. I used to be a C7 Quad, until a mass was removed from my spine that went from C1-T12. So now my functionality has improved to a para level, but my spasticity has increased tenfold. So I used to be an independent quad with hardly any spasms, and now I need assistance with all transfers bc my back spasms so violently that it's not safe for me to be alone. I tried it and fell on the floor with almost every transfer. So no, not every para can be indepenednt, as much as they want to. It's not a personal choice to be dependent.

[Laiusky]

I hate that I would rather be by my boyfriend's side and be there for him when he needs me and I can't because I'm on tour!
I hate bed sores!