[Slowlegs]

Looking past the injury (if you can, I know it is hard) and the health consequences of your injuries. Do you consider your life to be better or worse post injury with regard to the new person you have become inside.

[airart1]

u must have been living one shitty life for it to be better post injurie is all i can say...................

[City Girl]

Liked my life before, thank you very much. I'm much grumpier, less patient (no idea why), and I swear like a trucker now! I was a very upbeat, positive person before my accident. I have to really work at it now.

[kdenon01]

Well, my husband is the disabled one. But I think I am just as happy as I was before his accident...just in a different way.
Like CityGirl said.. I am also less patient, and grumpier. But I also feel this whole experience has made me a much stronger person. I used to complain about the little things, and now I am able to brush those little things off.

Eh, I guess I would choose my life before. lol I dunno.

[airart1]

ya, not to be an ass, but your not the one in the wheelchair............

[kdenon01]

Not to be an ass...but you are kinda being an ass.

[Trinity]

There is no way I could say my life is better now, I can't do the job I loved, the things I can still do that I used to do before are somewhat modified, are not as easy and for the most part not as fun. If some one offered me my old life back I would take it in a heart beat. But that's not going to happen, so I'll just have to get over it!
Trin X

[airart1]

no i'm not, just factual, theres no way even though u live with a person in a chair, u cannot know if a person is better off before being in a chair, u are not the one in the chair, hence the topic of this thread.............you can ask yourself are you better off before you met someone in a wheelchair or not, but not are you better off from being in one.............

[cyclops12]

dont see how anybody can say better off after [ unless they have mental problems lol ]

This post has been edited by cyclops12: 16 August 2008 - 10:02 PM

[kdenon01]

That's why I was saying on MY behalf. Not my husband's. DUH.

[Slowlegs]

Hi guys, sorry if I offended anyone. As I said, looking past the physical if you can. Personally I feel I have a better job, am paid better, are more confident and generally appreciate being alive far more than I ever did pre accident. Yes, there are plenty of negatives. Yes, physically, my life sucks and yes, if I could go back to being able bodied I would in an instant as I am sure most of us would. It would be great to be able to keep the insight, confidence, outlook and new perception I have gained which I would never have done living an AB life. I don't think I could have ever grown or expanded as a person as much as I have post accident. I never appreciated being caught out in the rain before or really stopped to listen to the birds singing on a Spring morning or appreciated all those things I took for granted on a daily basis.

[Abbey22]

I don't even know what to base my answer on. My first instinct is to say no, I liked my life before but then again I wouldn't want to take back certain experiences I've gained because of my accident. I guess it doesn't really matter since we don't get a choice. I just try to make the most out of the life I've sorta pieced back together...and I think I did a pretty good job of piecing.

The trauma of a spinal cord injury affects more than just the person using a wheelchair…it throws chaos into the lives connected to the person as well. My parents feel every pain I do...along with my best friends.

[E-DOG]

!MY LIFE IS FECES!
But I get a check. From the government. Every month.
Free money. No heavy lifting. No excess thinking.
Just wait fer that sucker to come rollin' on in. Like clockwork. Every month.
Ain't much, but with the occassional stem cell treatments I do it gets me by.
And now I have time for Tango lessons, 'n mountain climbing, pole vaulting contests.
Hot dang, maybe I'll become a famous football star! Or a world class figure skater.
Or maybe I'll just kick-back in my chair and relax. Have a beer. Smoke a joint.
I can read a book. Have a look, see what's on the lobotomy box.
Nothin' better than I love Lucy ay four in the afternoon. The highlight of my day.
Yep, feces it is. But then, I wasn't doin' a whole lot before the injury so I guess I'm alright.
Probably feel a whole lot different tommorrow.
Usually do.
E
i just write the shit. you don't have to read it

[Jackiefff]

there are good and bad things about both. i do feel i am a better person, i look at someone that may have some kind of disability or another and actually think what they may be going through, when i was AB i would just look and think "sucks to be them" as hard as it is to actually think i was one of those people but, i was a sucky person on that subject. So i know i am a better person by far, I am alot more driven to do things, like school or learning new things.. but same as city girl! i cuss like its going outta style! haha i would take my old life back for sure but i am glad for the better person i am now!

[wheelinPEACE]

My life is better now because before my accident I was living a wild and crazy life. I didn't think about tomorrow. I was living for "today". Now I realize that there is more to life than having fun. There is an after-life, and the way we live now will determine where we will spend eternity. My accident brought me closer to the Lord, so I have became a better person......in my opinion.

[Dave Bishopstone]

airart1, on Aug 16 2008, 10:07 PM, said:

ya, not to be an ass, but your not the one in the wheelchair............

It seems a little less than charitable to think that able bodied loved ones / carers, because they are not the ones in a wheelchair cannot feel the effect. Physically that is obviously the case, emotionally however it is a very different story. So in some respects it is a shared situation.

I wonder though, if it is particularly helpful to ask if life is better post SCI - the harsh fact is that no matter what the answer is, the clock can't be turned back, however much we may wish to do so, I suspect most folk would, self included for my son's sake. I guess some might resent what has happened and I think I can appreciate that because SCI brought uninvited and unwelcome change - but resentment means clinging onto the past and prevents moving on, but moving on is what has to happen.

Whether SCI and those affected by it makes for a better or stronger person, if not better, or stronger, certainly more experienced and adaptable.

This post has been edited by Dave Bishopstone: 17 August 2008 - 09:39 PM

[Slowlegs]

The reason for this poll is to see how others view themselves and their lives. Of course none of us can "go back", but the question wasn't "would you go back?". We seem to be stereotyped into two groups as disabled people. Those who are the mythical paralympian superhero who loves life and has never shed a tear and those who don't do those things. Unfortunately sometimes society seems to judge us on those two criteria alone and sometimes there is an expectation that if we haven't dragged ourselves up Mt Kilamanjaro we are somehow not "coping with our disabilities" although most people quite possibly wouldn't have achieved those things if we had led able bodied lives. I am trying to get an idea of how people on this site feel about the person they have become inside no matter what they have achieved, whether they sit watching tele or enter every wheelchair sporting event out, are married, single, straight, gay, whatever. Basically, I am trying to assess a level of happiness or unhappiness compared to average able bodied lives. Obviously if we include the physical it would probably overwhelmingly negative but then that is understandable which is why I have excluded that. Hopefully though, as we are able to discuss anything on here from bowel function to sex this shouldn't be too offensive to most of us on here. I do apologise if anyone feels otherwise. Thanks to everyone for voting, reading and posting so far whatever you voted or posted.

This post has been edited by Slowlegs: 18 August 2008 - 07:45 AM

[eleanorigby]

I understand what you meant by this question I think. I've often thought about the person I would be if I had never been injured. Would I have been a good person or a happy person or has my life outside of my physical situation turned towards the better? I think a yes or no answer is too black and white. I happen to really like who I am inside right now. Of course there are things that need improvement, but overall I think that I've turned out to be a pretty good person. However, I think I was already on that path before I was hurt. I was hurt at a young age (13), so I didn't really know who I was at the time, so the comparisons a little tweaked by that. I think I would have been similar if I wasn't injured to who I am now. Probably a little more arrogant as I would have been a real knock out if I hadn't been injured (after my accident I gained a lot of weight whereas before I was very athletic and tall) and was already developing a bit of an attitude problem. But the good parts of me were already showing through back then too. I always wanted to help people and made friends with everyone, especially the loners and outcasts because I wanted to help them. I was a natural leader and a precocious learner. These are all things that developed further later in my life.

As far as happiness, most of the areas in my life are pretty fulfilled. I love my family and friends and feel really lucky to have such great people in my life. Many AB people can't say this, so I know I'm lucky in general, not just for a crip. I have a job that I like, although not all the time, lol. And in general I just have a positive outlook on life and enjoy it. Even healthwise I'm pretty good. There are frustrations here and there, such as finances and my love life, but that's not exclusive to me or other wheelers.

This post has been edited by eleanorigby: 20 August 2008 - 07:27 PM

[Squirrel]

My life wasn't changed an awful lot by my accident as I already had MS and been using a wheelchair for several years anyway.
I already lived in an adapted bungalow with my carers looking after me and pretty much had accepted the way my life had become.
I don't think I have changed that much as it's been a progressive thing.

[dom]

airart1, on Aug 16 2008, 10:53 PM, said:

no i'm not, just factual, theres no way even though u live with a person in a chair, u cannot know if a person is better off before being in a chair, u are not the one in the chair, hence the topic of this thread.............you can ask yourself are you better off before you met someone in a wheelchair or not, but not are you better off from being in one.............

never mind airart some people don't read the question properly it specifically asks a question about the disabled person not the wife/husband/carer she should retract the statement not try to cover up some daft people on here

[millione]

thats easy...ain't nobody want to be like this.

[kdenon01]

Quote

never mind airart some people don't read the question properly it specifically asks a question about the disabled person not the wife/husband/carer she should retract the statement not try to cover up some daft people on here

What?

[rmorgan]

The question does state YOUR injuries...but it doesn't say that a wife cannot answer the question. She wasn't speaking for her husband...BUT considering that she was with her husband before the accident, HIS injury does directly relate to her, whether you see it or not.

[Sandra62]

This is very tricky question. At first I considered it stupid, almost offensive (I am sure everyone of you know what I mean) but as I went through all related posts I realised that it includes kind of philisophical component.
Nevertheless I think thet the question is not very appropriate, it is too complex but basicaly the answer is related to our personalapproach to life. Important is how we deal with all aspects that duddenly appear after the injury.
Also we have many questions (sometimes with contradictory answers) not only if we are better or worse:

Am I better: no I am less abled, disabled, handicaped, invalid....
Am I happy: yes, no, I may be angry or I am able to have all range of feelings
Do I miss walking: no not at all
Would I like to walk: yes very much, I will buw walking from a first seller who would offfer me
...
etc.

but I have my life, any a change would require adjustment: What I may conclude: SCI made me more ready to adjust to major life changes and challenges (this is only guess since I actualy don't know how would I act if simmilar life callenge appear again)

[china]

Well, i'm not the one in the chair, but i KNOW that my partner would be DEAD if he hadn't has his

accident, either in a fast car or on a bike.

But i also know that he would have had a lot of fun doing it, and not the painfull crappy life that

he has now.



maria x

[gsp23]

Looking past the physical condition like you say... my life is better now. I am much more patient then I used to be, maybe that comes from laying helpless in the hospital for so longer. Yeah there was a lot of the frustration and impatient feelings while learning how to do things again but in day to day life I find myself more patient and appreciating things much more.

I appreciate the small things in life... now when I used to hear that I thought people meant the smell of grass and the sound of birds, but I have learned that those small things in life are more simple things like being able to go to the bathroom on your own (and not have to be pushed or have someone standing over the top of you). Being able to eat on your own and being able to roll yourself over or situp. I know there are those on these forums that due to their injury level are not able to do some of those things still but luckily I have regained enough strength to do them all on my own and those are the simple things in life that I have learned to appreciate, just to name a few.

[gsp23]

I used to just wake up in a bad mood many days (back when I was AB) and one day I went into work and saw this lady I worked with and she was always in a good mood and I was again grumpy that morning and she looked at me and said "Your day is only as good as you make it." and that phrase somehow just clicked in me. It was like a light came on and I have carried that with me today which may have something to do with how I feel emotionally I have come through this and still be a happy and strong person.

[dexter]

what a stupid question. Are you serious?

Oh yeah... I'd love to be poked and prodded in my ass so I can take a dump every night.

[Slowlegs]

dexter, on Jan 1 2009, 02:24 AM, said:

what a stupid question. Are you serious?

Oh yeah... I'd love to be poked and prodded in my ass so I can take a dump every night.

So I take it that is a no?

[airart1]

i think that could be interpreted as a no!!!!!!!!

This post has been edited by airart1: 01 January 2009 - 03:20 PM