109 replies to this topic

[qbounce]

Now that you mention it,

I've had the pleasure of dealing with a pressure sore on my ass, and am currently nursing a blood clot embedded in my skull that's blocking 90+% of my left jugular vein. It keeps me down half the day, fatigued and unable to do much alot of the time.

But, I came from a life of wanting something other than a drunk up wife, and the occasional massage from a stranger for physical contact.

Well, I got what I asked for: the crazy woman's gone, and I have a new lady by my side. I had full disability insurance through my work, so I got to keep my house. Now I have the ability to stay home all day. No worries or cares to speak of. Just take blood thinners to prevent any further clots and hope on high this sucker dissolves soon so I can spend more time with the new squeeze.

I'm not hurting now, and actually like where I am better. Only because I know I'm young and my health will rebuild easily.

But, if you think you got it bad, consider moving with your disability check to Asia. The money goes much further there and the ladies love foreigners.

[edlee]

Took me a while to decide to respond to this question,,,, and , no, I didn't post a vote, since the question was " are you better off or worse" , so yes could mean better or it could mean worse.

Since my injury occurred late in my life ,,"58",,, most of the good things that many have written about, had already happened. I had learned to "slow down and smell the roses" , and to appreciate the little things in life.

I had already had the chance to find success in a field of work that I enjoyed, and in a sport that I enjoyed.

The only thing that SCI has done, is to take away those things,,,,, My greatest pleasures in life,,,,with the exception of my children,,, have been alone,,, in places others couldn't or wouldn't go. That, too, is gone.

I never took any pleasure in team sports,,,, enjoyed relying on myself,,,,, well,,, I guess you can see where I'm going with that,,,,

So ,,, my answer must be,,, NO,, not better off,, and YES,, worse off.
ed

[ems]

Hmm odd one, I would say life is a journey and you can make it worse for yourself, or you can make it better for yourself. I of course wish it had never happened, but life is what you make of it, and I enjoy my life, SCI or not, I think I would still have enjoyed my life had it not happened, but that is a BUT!!! I could say a thousand "whats ifs" and "buts", but it doesn't change anything!

I'm still the same person, it hasn't changed the person I am. It has not worsened my life, it's changed a few things, it puts some things on hold sometimes, and of course sometimes I have a good scream inside about it, but you never know what your life might have been like had it not happened. If's and buts eh ;)

So, no, I am not better off, BUT, I'm not worse off either, everything is manageable in some way and .... it could be worse! (Says flesh wound t12!)

Edited by ems, 07 January 2009 - 07:14 PM.

[Texas Angel Ang]

I love my life the way it is -- if I could go back and change anything I can honestly say "no". All the challenges, accomplishments, disappointments and learning about other people, myself included -- I don't think I would be who I am today. I like who I am and continue to grow to be.

Sure, there are things that piss me off about being paralyzed but then I see people that aren't paralyzed and going through way much more than I am.

Do I wish I could be more independent? Yes.

Do I sit around and do well on it? No.

In my eyes, being happy isn't about what you can or cannot do... it's about knowing who you are and challenging yourself EVERYDAY, chair or no chair!

[Slowlegs]

edlee, on Jan 7 2009, 06:55 PM, said:

Took me a while to decide to respond to this question,,,, and , no, I didn't post a vote, since the question was " are you better off or worse" , so yes could mean better or it could mean worse.

So ,,, my answer must be,,, NO,, not better off,, and YES,, worse off.
ed

Hi Edlee,
Thanks for pointing that out. Sorry, I think it was after midnight (here) when I posted that. Unfortunately I am not able to go back and change it. I was intending it to be

YES: Your life is better.
NO: Your life is worse.

Sorry about the confusion. Thanks for the replies everyone. A lot of thought went into some of them and I was surprised to get pretty well a tie. If you have voted differently than you wished, please go back and post a double vote for what you intended to vote for. The first one will cancel out your original vote and the second will be your correct vote. It will quite possibly screw up the percentages though.

Slowlegs

Edited by Slowlegs, 15 January 2009 - 07:00 PM.

[Meadowlarkmark]

I AM happy being me but I do not think my life is better post injury--granted the injury kept me out of the Viet Nam war and I did and have gotten alot of breaks over the 40+years but I am sure I would be much further ahead in my life if I had not had my injury.

[Slowlegs]

Meadowlarkmark, on Jan 19 2009, 10:35 PM, said:

I AM happy being me but I do not think my life is better post injury--granted the injury kept me out of the Viet Nam war and I did and have gotten alot of breaks over the 40+years but I am sure I would be much further ahead in my life if I had not had my injury.

Hi, yes I know what you mean. It was a difficult one to post. I voted it is better - just in different ways than I probably valued before. My life was OK but not the best (some would say it was total ) but I feel I have grown in ways I never possibly would have if I had lived without my injury. In that way it is better but perhaps those things would have come with getting older, who is to know. If I could see what my life would have been like, perhaps my life would have been a lot better but then again if I could see into the future I wouldn't have had my injury in the first place. I think perhaps my idea of "better" now is also a lot different than it was. Just being able to go to bed with a high chance of waking up in the morning is a lot better than it was immediately after my injury so I think perspectives also change.

[Lol Hare]

Some things are better i supose,some worse,i was a professional motorcycle racer so it was a MASSIVE change especially if you throw in a divorce! i loved my life even if it was at an extremeley fast pace,i can't do hardly anything i used to for enjoyment or a buzz etc let alone all the real obvious stuff like pain,bowel accidents,mobility,frustration,etc,etc
On the other hand some plus points i guess are not having so much pressure of work,i found a new partner who is wonderfull,i have a diferrent outlook on life now obviously too,even more so now that i'm Athesist,it's made me see so much clearer!

[StillFingers]

Slowlegs,

Yes is my answer. I am a better person and I'm happy with my life now; I'm happy with what I've been able to accomplish, contribute and share. I was 21 when SCI graced my life; and destroyed a young man's dreams. I am now 51 nearing 52...what a sad state of affairs I would be if I had not been able to become more of a caring, creative, compassionate, educated and loving human being.

Jerry

Edited by StillFingers, 21 February 2009 - 07:30 PM.

[eyelookok2blindgurls]

Hmmm I guess it's not really Krippledom that has made my life much worse its just now I suffer from severe OPS as well (Other Peoples Shit ) too many AB's who think they know more about how my SCI affects me that I do .

[cubanito_016]

I think life is hard and so much nerve pains life now its a bitch I hope it gets better one day.

[Travelling Blackbird]

The question is tricky because it's tough to really look past the physical reality of life being harder in a wheelchair, the emotional reality of a harder life being more draining and less satisfactory than the life we see other people having, and the issues we deal with as wheelchair users. The gut reaction answer is "no, of course it's worse", because the gut reaction is to treat the question as one about quality of life and happiness.

However, I guess you're really trying to see if people feel they are a better person for their experience, or if they feel they've learned to be someone happier by gaining a greater appreciation for life. Is that the real question?

In my case, I don't feel emotionally better or worse off - I certainly learned things about the world, and I'm sure the experience changed me, but I don't feel like I'm a better or worse person inside. My life is tougher, and I'm a little more cynical than I used to be perhaps.

[RoyC]

NO i cant think of one thing that is better now im in a chair than before when i was able bodied nothing not one thing i still enjoy life as a para fully independent but there is no comparison if you prefer life post injury your life must of been really sh=te back then

[Jax]

I met my loving wife in rehab. She was my nurse. Since the question is about how one feels about self as a person post injury, I have to say this- I was an asshole pre-injury, and I am still an asshole. SCI just gave me a few more things to be an asshole about. It also gave me some new ways to mess with people, as I find people's stupidity can be an extremely entertaining thing to play with... In thinking this over, I have realized that who a person is cannot really be determined by pre or post-injury as there is more to a person than can be explained in these simple terms. I am not much of a believer in people changing, but I guess things affect different people differently.Why is there an assumption that someone who has SCI HAD to have changed who he or she is just because of an injury? Seems a bit presumptuous to me. I have had people from my little home town tell me that I was an inspiration, to which I replied "Why? Just because you're scared of being in a wheelchair means you think I would be?" I don't get it. One of my friends said something interesting to me when he came to visit me one day in rehab. He told me that he had worried about how I was going to be emotionally after the accident, but the first time he visited me in rehab, he knew I was still the same jackass I was before. I was glad to hear that from an outside perspective.

Edited by Jax, 04 March 2009 - 02:37 AM.

[qbounce]

RoyC, on Mar 1 2009, 02:57 PM, said:

NO i cant think of one thing that is better now im in a chair than before when i was able bodied nothing not one thing i still enjoy life as a para fully independent but there is no comparison if you prefer life post injury your life must of been really sh=te back then

Or, maybe I have a difficult time looking back to compare what and where I was. Life is ever changing, evolving, and growing. This question asked me to reflect on who I am now and what I have, vs. what I had pre injury. And, although I led a pretty full life, and was much healthier in body, I was very unhappy with my job and my spouse.

There are always pros and cons on a toll sheet to consider, but with a possitive attitude driving me through life, I will expect to find that where I am now will ALWAYS be better than where I was.

[airart1]

but getting a new girlfriend and job still been better!!!

[tspence]

I must say that Im not as happy but I am content with where Im at.....at times

[tmcph]

i had a wonderful life before my injury, i was traveling around skiing & wakeboarding full time and just having fun, but since my injury i feel like i have become a better person. i went back to school and finished my degree which i probably wouldn't ever had done, i've been able to go out in the community and help educate about sci and chair use, of course i would want to be upright and traveling again but i truly think i've become a better person because of it

[AndrewB]

Hmmm... if you asked me that question 10 years ago, about 1 year post injury i would have said no.. and probably thrown somthing at you for asking me such a stupid question. but life has changed again and again since then, and i currently like the path im on now. so for now, my answer is yes. 10 years from now.. who knows?

[airart1]

i'll still stand by my answer, anybody thats better off without body function that is better off must have had one messed up life, i never let mine get ourt of control, aqnd enjoyed every minute i was walking and doing thinjgs the normal way, the way God meant it to be, life in a wheelchair sucks, no if and or butts..............

[tmcph]

airart1, on Mar 28 2009, 10:43 AM, said:

i'll still stand by my answer, anybody thats better off without body function that is better off must have had one messed up life, i never let mine get ourt of control, aqnd enjoyed every minute i was walking and doing thinjgs the normal way, the way God meant it to be, life in a wheelchair sucks, no if and or butts..............

i think you're misunderstanding the question

[airart1]

how do u figure i dont understand the question, simple yes or no, how can a person with out function, no matter what that is could be better off.......if u can explain that to me then i can accept it, but until i can be convinced that all the things i did or could do is better i stand where i stand, there is no way that anyone is better off without there bodily functions as a normal human being and not strapped to a chair could be better off.............

[kate42]

This is an interesting question, and for me it's kind of like trying to compare apples and oranges. My life before was so different than my life now, but that could also be because I was going through a natural stage in maturing when my SCI happened (I was twelve).

Apart from the obvious inconveniences, there are still some things that piss me off. It's frustrating being sixteen years old and being the only one who can't participate in sports at school or go to camp or do a lot of "normal kid stuff." But I am entirely happy with who I am, I'm happy with my life now, and I think it's given me an entirely new outlook on life. I've also found ways to start doing things that I used to before my SCI that I didn't think I could - I've been able to start doing drama at school again, that kind of thing.

So to answer the question, yes, overall, I think my life is better now.

[airart1]

wow is all i can say, if in a chair is better than being normal then i guess life must have really sucked..........................

[tmcph]

airart1, on Mar 28 2009, 01:52 PM, said:

how do u figure i dont understand the question, simple yes or no, how can a person with out function, no matter what that is could be better off.......if u can explain that to me then i can accept it, but until i can be convinced that all the things i did or could do is better i stand where i stand, there is no way that anyone is better off without there bodily functions as a normal human being and not strapped to a chair could be better off.............

he put 'Looking past your condition (if you can, I know it is hard) and the health consequences of your injuries. Do you consider your life to be better or worse post injury with regard to the new person you have become inside.' so that reads to me, imagine yourself without a chair, are you a better person inside now than you were, however long ago it might be. maybe you can't picture yourself without the chair, i can & i am a better person inside because of my injury.

if you have more input i would like to hear it, but message me so we don't hijack the thread

[airart1]

i havent hijacked this thread , its simple, how can any one person with loss of bodily function, little lone the ability to live life as most take for granted be better off, as i have said before you have the power to change your life, even in a chair, and my answer is the same, no way is my life better without half of my body working..............i havent stopped living if thats what u mean, i owned 3 retail stores and worked 14 hour days, it did get me some amminities like owning my home and boats, cars, i even built me a harley, in which i owned 2 before my accident, i accomplished a few of the things i still could do, which is about 10 times more than most i know in wheelchairs, most live in poverty and have not what i would consider a full life, i've lost my wife, my son and many of my friends, so u ask me am i better off, and the answer will still be NO...........if u feel like your life was so bad that u consider having someone to clean, work on your home, theres about 1000 things i cant do that was on my slate to do that is not accomplishable in a wheelchair, so when u say your life is better, i'm proud yours is, mine is not, there are about 999 things on my list that i will never get to do, heck, the most in chairs cant even get a job, because they cant afford the price of there medical, when i closed the last store, i was paying almost 2000 a month for medical ins. for me and my son, i was hospitalized for ulcers on my butt that has turned into about 4 years in bed and 6 surgeries, i have old motorcycles that i've owned by my hard work with legs sitting in garages that i will never ride again, so if your life is better then God bless you, but mine is not, not that i will give up on life and will live it the best i can, but better off, is still no way in heck...........

[qbounce]

airart1, on Mar 27 2009, 08:58 PM, said:

but getting a new girlfriend and job still been better!!!

Without going into a deep and drawn out discussion, uuummmmm . . . . yah.

I read the rest of your rant, and understand where you're at in life.

My head isn't there. It's a little further up in the clouds. I'm at peace with what happened to me and I've moved past it.

Have you seen the 3 wheeled trikes out there? Pretty sweet!!

[airart1]

there is no looking past your condition, no way, cant be done, reality is reality...............and if u live in some sort of fantasy world were u can then i'm proud for u...................

[jaquie_farmer]

there are things about me on the inside both positive and negative resulting from the accident. overall id say im very happy w/ myself inside. no use dwelling on the physical aspect of life; there's so much to be thankful for. take a breath in and out. then say thanks.

Edited by jaquie_farmer, 29 March 2009 - 07:30 PM.

[qbounce]

airart1, on Mar 29 2009, 12:22 PM, said:

there is no looking past your condition, no way, cant be done, reality is reality...............and if u live in some sort of fantasy world were u can then i'm proud for u...................

I'm not going to argue anymore my position. It's a mental thing, not a physical one. The realitiy is where your heads at, not just your physical being.

So you can either get busy living or get busy dying . . . your choice.