She gets scared and freaked out by my spasticity and pain issues and anticipation of me falling from bed, which happens from time to time, and her usual reaction is yelling and swearing. This does not help after a major bout of spasticy or a fall, lol.
Hi There From Oregon! Caregiver Issue new member greeting, caregiver issue w caregiver support
#1
Posted 20 August 2008 - 01:43 AM
She gets scared and freaked out by my spasticity and pain issues and anticipation of me falling from bed, which happens from time to time, and her usual reaction is yelling and swearing. This does not help after a major bout of spasticy or a fall, lol.
#2
Posted 20 August 2008 - 02:17 AM
The best advice I can give is maybe just not let her be a part of your care. It sounds like you have tried counseling...and other than that I'm not too sure of what to tell you. If she would like some support, this site is a great way to meet other people who are in her situation.
Also, she needs to make sure that she still takes time for herself...going to the spa, spending time with family/friends, etc.
#3
Posted 23 August 2008 - 06:00 PM
I hate to say how MANY relationships end post SCI due to stress, worry, fear, and depression for loss of ones self worth.
#4
Posted 21 September 2008 - 03:18 AM
#5
Posted 23 January 2009 - 05:33 AM
Regarding your partner's isolation- I agree that she needs to talk to someone. To get it started why dont you open an "account " on this site for her (she can always change the password) and tell her to feel free to ask questions, make comments and basicly read about our lives, how we handle things etc. She can get alot of info from this.
If she does not find a release it will continue to affect your relationship- sometimes just understanding better is the first step. I have asked some of the most obvious questions in hind site, but at the time I really needed to hear the answers and these people were here for me.
Best of luck and hope things get stronger and calmer for you.
#6
Posted 23 January 2009 - 05:40 AM
sjean423, on Sep 20 2008, 07:18 PM, said:
SJean, I dont agree with your comment about partners completely. In some cases that may be true if they dont have the emotiona or physical ability to do what needs to be done, but in most cases the fact that someone who is caring for the person also happens to love that person can mean alot and provide alot that a stranger cant on an emotional level.
In my case I do most everything my partner needs except b/p by his choice and he has another relative who lives on the same property do that even when I am there (we live 250 miles apart right now). The reason for that is that he wants this last part of his care to be my responsibility after we are married so that we can just focus on our relationship even though I dont care. I still do lots of other things for him in the caretaker catagory that are intimate, private etc that he would not want a stranger do.
In some instances I think you are right but caution against over generalization. Just a thought
qbounce, on Aug 23 2008, 10:00 AM, said:
I hate to say how MANY relationships end post SCI due to stress, worry, fear, and depression for loss of ones self worth.
I agree- she needs to do something for herself. Take a wak, have coffee with a friend, join a class etc. If your care is her only focus she will obsess, fret and become short fused- oh wait, she is....
#7
Posted 24 January 2009 - 01:02 AM
btw, i live in a little town like.. 20 minutes from salem

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