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MAKES YOU WONDER WHERE ON EARTH SOME DOCTOR'S GOT THEIR MEDICAL DEGREES!
[1] "She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night."
[2] "Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year."
[3] "On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared."
[4] "The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed."
[5] "The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993."
[6] "Discharge Status: Alive but without my permission."
[7] "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful."
[8] "The patient has stubbornly refused an autopsy."
[9] "The patient has no previous history of suicides."
[10] "Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital."
[11] "Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in 3 days."
[12] "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
[13] "She is completely numb from the toes down."
[14] "While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home."
[15] "The skin was moist and dry."
[16] "Occasional, constant infrequent headaches."
[17] "Patient was alert and unresponsive."
[18] "Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid."
[19] "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."
[20] "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical theraphy."
[21] "Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accomodation."
[22] "Examination of genitalia confirms that he is circus sized."
[23] "The lab test indicated abnormal lower function.."
[24] "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead."
[25] "Skin: somewhat pale but present."
[26] "The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor."
[27] "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree."
[28] "Large brown stool ambulating in the hall."
[29] "Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Enjoy Guys!
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