8 replies to this topic

[Tash]

Hello, I need help! Is there anyone there that could chat with me about a problem i am having with
the love of my life. He is a c5/6 injury and our relationship needs help. I have a lot going on
right now and Iam trying to find someone to talk to before I go nuts. Right now i have two small
children 9 months and 3 years old plus I take care of my man. I also have a full time job. I
have a care giver for 33 1/2 hours a week. I am sinking becasue I still have so much to do when my care giver is not there and we are fighting SS to get benefits right now and that seems really hopeless. I love my man but I am getting overly overwhelmed. Does anyone have any words of encouragement

[doublelibra]

Hi Tash,

I'm not a caregiver, but I can imagine the stress of being one. Being a Mom with such young children is tough too. My daughter currently has to help me a lot, even though I have home health care as well. Really, I should say she chooses to help me, because my two younger kids have been the only family members who have ever done so. My older son and brother live in town, but have never helped me. I don't really want anyone to, but my kids who were 6 and 11 when I was injured just want to be sure I'm ok, even though I have always planned eventually to live alone. I appreciate their caring so very much! My daughter 28 and her daughter 5, live with me. It is economically beneficial for my daughter to live with me now while she is a full-time student. My home health people do all really personal care, such as bathing, bowel care, etc. I've never allowed the state to lean on them for that.

Do you have any activities that are just yours? Do you have family or friends to support you? There are a lot of supportive people on this site, so tell us more about yourself, and maybe other caregivers can chime in. How long ago was your partner's injury? Feel free to send me a personal message if you want to.

doublelibra

[dancin' johnny]

There are loads of people to chat with here Tash, be patient and the wisdom will flow.

Oh, WELCOME.

[Tash]

I really don't have personal time to myslef. When I got o work I try to communicate wtih co-workers who care i small few. I was doing lunch with them alot I gained 25 lbs. I had to cut that out. I lost most of the weight but still a strugle.

It is nice to talk to someone that can relate on the other end of what I go through. Do you have any tips I can use to that can help me better help him. He is a c/5/6 injury and been injured since sept 07.

thank you for responding I needed that


[thank you i wll continue to wiat for responses

[qbounce]

Tash,
Help us help you. Set up your page about yourself. How many years post injury is your man?
If he's just newly out of the hospital, than let me reasure you things will get better in time. Be patient with him and allow him to try doing certain tasks on his own, whatevers possible. The more he can do himself, the more he'll continue to attempt at being as independant as he can.

Welcome, and keep us posted on his progress.

[Hapahowlee]

Hi Tash,

Welcome! Read my profile and PM me if you need to vent or do it here if you want more responses. One thing I left out is that I have 2 stepchildren. They are now adults, but if you read my profile, you'll notice I've been with my husband a long time. My husband's been on SSDI since 1985 and we have been battling them for 3 years now and have a hearing pending to dispute a $9,000 overpayment. Of course Soc. Sec. is wrong b/c they don't take the time to gather correct info, especially if someone on SSDI decides to work part time.

Anyway, you're not alone. I hope you find some answers and relief here.

Take Care,

Hapa

[Illinois Boy]

Hapahowlee, on Sep 18 2008, 04:58 PM, said:

Hi Tash,

Welcome! Read my profile and PM me if you need to vent or do it here if you want more responses. One thing I left out is that I have 2 stepchildren. They are now adults, but if you read my profile, you'll notice I've been with my husband a long time. My husband's been on SSDI since 1985 and we have been battling them for 3 years now and have a hearing pending to dispute a $9,000 overpayment. Of course Soc. Sec. is wrong b/c they don't take the time to gather correct info, especially if someone on SSDI decides to work part time.

Anyway, you're not alone. I hope you find some answers and relief here.

Take Care,

Hapa

Welcome to the forum, Tash.......

Happa, don't get me started with working part time...... I damn near lost my SSDI after working 25 years part time......

From now on I work for cash....... Donations that is, he, he.......

Jim

[Travelling Blackbird]

How long ago was he injured? Is the strain coming from his adjustment to his new situation, depression, anger and so on, or is it the physical stress of caring for three people and working?

Do you live near your family or his family? If someone could take the kids for a few hours a week even, I'm sure you'd find that a huge relief.

My dear friend Kasia looks after her c5/6 husband Darek. It took them a few years, but they worked out a routine that gave her at least an hour off a day, just for her. It can be done.

Hang in there, ask us questions, vent if you need to. There are good people here who'll listen and advise.

[Tash]

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Edited by Tash, 25 September 2008 - 07:43 PM.