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How Do You Do It?!
Posted 19 September 2008 - 03:07 PM
The only way we have been able to get a better balance is to have nurses and carers, but thats at the expence of our privacy. So it just feels like hobsons choice until I can get my head round it some more. Is this how it is??? or am I missing something?
ps if your reading this aditrx blow it first! x:o)
Posted 19 September 2008 - 03:36 PM
Something I can't stand...earwax. My husband has some nasty ears.
- stevie g likes this
Posted 19 September 2008 - 10:41 PM
I didnt know if i should feed it, clean it, blow it, pluck it or kiss it!!!
Is he doing the bowel program daily?
If so, I recommend trying every other day. It uses so much of your time up on a daily basis, and once you switch to every other day, the actual time in the bathroom DOESN'T take any longer than before.
That frees up every other day, anyways.
Posted 20 September 2008 - 11:55 PM
Know I need to be more involved with all his care needs if we are to have a fuller and more independant lifestyle, feeling more positive about it, feels good, thanks
Posted 04 October 2008 - 09:52 PM
Posted 14 October 2008 - 02:08 PM
My mans pooh and pee are like second nature to me now but the full bowel treatment I just dont wanna do for lack of time. I still participate in teh process by putting the enema in and the home health aid waits for the flow!
It is something else but that is the only way we all get relief.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
psalm 23 : 1 & 2
Posted 15 October 2008 - 03:03 PM
Posted 20 July 2009 - 10:52 AM
We always light a candle and keep some air freshener handy! I will usually insert the magic bullet, then leave the room to get him & myself some coffee. He keeps track of the time and calls me when it's time to check & clean up. I like to keep the area clean after each "deposit," that makes it easier to clean up at the very end! I am usually in and out of the room and he calls me back every 10-15 minutes. I find this is a great time to clean/pack lunches, etc. He focuses on getting the poo out, and sometimes reads and/or watches tv. The whole deal takes about an hour to an hour + 10 minutes, then we go right into the whole bed bath, etc.
On days that things aren't coming out on their own and I have to go in there and get it myself, I do get grossed out and I usually lose my appetite. That's getting better, too, though. I do think, one day, when we can afford to hire some help, this doody (har har) will be theirs. But I understand and don't mind doing it for now, and I'll always do it on trips, etc.
- SpeedyBK likes this
Posted 21 July 2009 - 05:12 PM
I feel for you! I really do. I was MORTIFIED at the thought originally! I really was! And he even said he did not want me " messing with things back there"!! lol
But just as many have already said to you...it became less about our issues and more about what simply needed to be done. We (my fiance & I) have had the WORST issues with nurses who dont care - I mean from the ones who dont show up to the ones who wouldn't finish...or the ones who would flat out lie about doing it and would cause my guy to have embarrassing accidents the next day. The clincher was when one accually was outright mean and caused some damage!!
Don't get me wrong...it's not something I look forward to doing - but like one gal said...it's just poo!
I would suggest this though - don't force yourself into that role. See about getting a well qualified attendant to handle the job if you can. With us we had one guy who only came over to do that. It was odd having some one in our space like that - but - hey...it worked for us for a year or so.
Only YOU know what will work for you!
All the best!!
(From across the pond)
Posted 18 August 2009 - 01:40 AM
Posted 18 August 2009 - 01:17 PM
Posted 19 August 2009 - 04:38 PM
Posted 19 August 2009 - 05:54 PM
Reading these posts makes me feel allot better. My husband is only three months into his injury and we thought that we were doing something wrong. Our bowel program is taking about an hour at night and we also have two small children, it is not as hard as I thought is was going to be but I keep wondering about the future and it was nice to read from people that have been doing this for awhile that it just becomes part of the routine. I do not mind taking care of my husband at all, it is for better or for worse right? But does it get eaiser for him to deal with?
How he copes will have a lot to do with his personality. Generally speaking it does get better. Three months isn't very long and you may have to be patient a little while longer. My husband doesn't cope near as well as most other quads but he is much better now than he was at three months post injury. It has been 8 years and he still has his off moments. I think it helps if he can draw his attention to something else so he isn't dwelling on it all the time. Getting enough sleep helps with coping and I think that is true of all people.
Posted 22 August 2009 - 05:18 AM
Posted 07 September 2009 - 02:55 AM
- SheilaG likes this
Posted 22 January 2010 - 11:33 PM
'I failed today. Never mind, tomorrow I will fail better.'
Posted 29 January 2010 - 03:52 AM
Posted 29 January 2010 - 09:50 PM
Posted 06 February 2010 - 12:14 AM
Posted 06 February 2010 - 05:17 AM
When we first started out everything was CRAZY but you'll make it through it gets alot easier and soon enough you'll cath half a sleep!!
PS I did not want a PCA to come in the house and care for him, I felt like it was taking away his dignity having a different person every day digging in his booty!
Posted 04 July 2012 - 10:15 PM
Posted 04 July 2012 - 11:10 PM
- MaryDennett likes this
"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light"