[Apparelyzed]

If I build it, will they come?

So, who are you, where are you from, how are you coping in caring for someone with a disability?

Introduce yourselves and let's get this area started.

Simon.

[ton-up-gaz]

hello my name is mandy i'm married to gary,we have been married for (too bloody long) ,nearly fifteen yrs,am becoming quite a good hand at caring now,can put up with most of what life and gary throws at me,he doesn't literally throw anything at me i'd let his tyres down if he did,we live in a purpose built bungalow on the east lincolnshire coast, gary has been disabled since 1981 with a t12 l1 l2 sci, good to see a new forum for us carers look forward to speaking with others soon
mandy

[carolline]

So I belonged in here! Thanks Simon to put a thread for us here spouse & carer's.
I'm Carolline presently here in Abu Dhabi,United Arab Emirates.Working in Sheikh Khalifa Medical City with more than 500 beds capacity.So I assinged in ortho/surgical ward.Which we handle in most cases with SCI patients.I have enough experience taking care of SCI patients.We can exchange our ideas and advice when it becomes dealing with them.

[scarey]

Hello every body in this group.

My name is Steve (yes, a guy:) ) and my wife, Liliana, is a c4\c5 Quad. Since January of 2000, I have cared for my wife since her accident. It's been hard on me in every aspect...however, it must be really, really hard for my wife. I'm happy to know that this web page exists for up until the recent time I've spent my energies for her and not for me. Sure, I've had my mental breakdown moments in the distant past, but today I feel like I'm lost (for my needs!) I feel like I want to start my life over..A new career..a new house..a new city! Does anybody get those feelings? If so, please let me know what they changed and did it work out.
I've been a professional Geologist for about ten years now. My current employer requires me to travel (mostly overnight stuff) to field sights for about a week. However, I must decline about 80% to 90% of the time due to my wife having to see a doctor or therapist. Luckly, I'm still employed there because I fandango my arguments. So I usually get stuck working on mondane jobs in the office (which has something to do with my lower-than-normal self esteem.
I know i should feel grateful that I have an employer thta will allow me the time off and not get released, but I no longer have the professional drive to keep doing really simple tasks (it's a double-edged sword).

Again hi to all and if someone can direct me to place on this web, any web, or wishes to write do so. I feel like I'm at a crossroad.

Steve from Sactown

[hillarymcarter]

Hi Steve...welcome! I wish I could help you out. My husband has only been injured for a year so I haven't even overcome the initial feelings that come with the injury yet. Hopefully, there will be someone on here for you to talk to. I know how it is to kind of lose your sense of self....I'm going through that one myself.

[miss piggy]

hi i am a carer for my brother in law .This is my first time on here ,and i am not good on computers so this is a big challange.My brother in law is T11-T12 .he is sitting here helping me We both dont know what to asy or do help

[hillarymcarter]

The ways these pretty much go is if you have a question then start a new thread on the subject and there are tons of people here to try and answer questions for you guys! This board has really been a great tool for me and my husband!
So, what is the story with your brother in law?

[miss piggy]

hi Thanks for replying. My brother in law was coming home from work on his motorcycle .when some nutter in a car hit him .He was intensive care for two weeks and then transferred to another hospital for four weeks He was in rehab for six months. He is paraplegic and has lots of orthopaedic injuries. He has dealt with this so well .I have been his carer since his been home and loving every moment .We have such a laugh .We are both still learning with lots of things but seem to have got into a good routine .Thank god kevin has stayed really positive through it all even when the arsehole got away lightly for putting him in a wheelchair

[hillarymcarter]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you caring for him?
Don't take that the way it sounds..... I mean, is he not married, no parents, etc.?
Am I phrasing the question right? I think it is great that you are helping, I don't think I would be my brother in laws carer...that is why I'm asking what the story is.
Sorry if I'm being too nosey!

[miss piggy]

No I don't mind .He is divorced, and lives with his parents but they are in there late 60's. He has three brothers I am married to one and the others are all single.
I spent everyday with Kevin in hospital and helped the nurses care for him and it just felt right to carry on.
Lots of people say the same to me and all I can say is it just felt right me caring for him. I have been caring for Kevin for nearly two years now and never regretted it. There are agency carers that could help, but Kevin would be so restricted to time and he would not have a say in when he got up and when he went to bed, and we felt this was so unfair. The big plus side for me is if my children are off school or unwell, I can bring them with me ,which is really important to me .There has never been embarrassing moments we just both get on with things .I know this situation would not work for a lot of people but for us its been brill . When I say to people I love my job they looked shocked WHY .Its the most rewarding job I have ever done. People are always asking how we get on, well I am loud and totally mad and Kevin is very quiet and shy but we get on amazing

[hillarymcarter]

That's great. I wish I could be such a great sister in law!
I think I would enjoy being a caregiver for a job too. I mean, taking care of your husband isn't really a job and soon he won't need me to help him at all.