[andy8]

sorry if this is un appropiate.....was searchin net with..........losing both parents........only similer link was lady who was tryin to understand a friend on your site who had experienced this crap situation and how to help them.....i tried to respond to the post but had to register with your site first and sucsequently i have lost her thread............just lost both mine in space of couple o weeks only 2 months ago and feel absolutely gutted ....but....presuming her friends parents were like mine i felt i had to say to her that giving up n feeling sorry for them , although accepted as reasonable by others was not a REAL option ...they like i will have good n bad days according to..........who can say what triggers it !...........
on re-collection my last few weeks cannot compare to some of the experiences that people must have to deal with whitch i know so little ....purely from the strenghth that they/you deal with i am humbled .......................my pain is insignificant to that.............from puting this into words has helped me no end.......to my point which has been lost a little....my reply to the lady was that she must help her friend by realising their loss will never go away be patient with their moods.......mine are kin foul n destructive at the moment along with calm and reflective......thank you for your forum , although i think probably minor of things you all must be dealing with ......thank you......andy

[nomis]

Hi andy8.
That loss of a parent or other family member is a traumatic experience no matter what the person's situation. Losing two in such close proximity is beyond my understanding and I do not wish to contemplate it. I had a 15 year gap in which to deal with my parents' deaths. The remarkable and delightful thing I've learnt is that sorrow is so closely aligned with love and appreciation. I can't have one without the other.
That makes it rather nice...but sorrowful.

[Nickleblue]

Hi Andy, I cant give you any information re orphanage's and everyone is diffarent when it comes to times and methods of healing - expecially mentally. What I can say is keep searching there is bound to be groups out there for people who have lost both parents I would start with social services then ask the citizens advice bueruea (SP?). I grew up within the foster care system (My father killed my mother) So in a way i lost both parents. One because he went to prison (although didnt die) the other because she was killed. I thought there would "Never" be anyone "like me" out there.
I hit a downwards spiral for a long time.
Then i came accross an organization called "SAMM" support after murder and manslaughter. who changed my perspective entirely.
important things - Be there for this person (should you want to/feel capable) if they want to talk - let them. if they dont - let it be but let them know the options there should they require it.
1) id keep trying to find that group - the sooner the person finds people who understand/relate on a personal level the better. Its "ok" for you and me to say "i know how you feel or "i wish i could help" but it wont have as much impact enless its from someone who's actually "Been there". I had countless people tell me i was worthwhile , capable, would get through this. it didnt mean squat until i started to beleive in myself. That only happend when i encountered SAMM.
Good Luck Andy.
take care.
Nickle.