33 replies to this topic

[Slowlegs]

Hi all, has anyone had any "well meaning weirdo" experiences?

Let us know about your weirdest one.
My latest one (a relative who was dead serious) said they thought I had done something really bad in a previous life and they knew someone who (if I gave them forty bucks) would "un bad-karma" me.

Thing is, if I gave them eighty bucks I wonder if I could have bought some good karma with the extra forty and perhaps even been miraculously cured and then won the lottery and things like that. Tell us about your weirdest weirdo experience please. Keep them light hearted if possible, let the humour begin!

[nomis]

Slowlegs, I'll do it for 30 bucks.

A couple of years ago I had a religious door-to-door zealot come to my door. I've got a long drive and he was on crutches. I could see him jerk back on seeing my wheelchair appear - so it was obvious he used his situation to push his message.

He began to pull the old "Have you ever wondered why God did THIS to you" and "There is a way back to wholeness waiting for you".

I could plainly see he was relying on rehearsed lines and beyond that he wasn't sure of himself, teetering there on his multiple pins - like a nice fella I let him stand at the doorway. It might have been an interesting tactic to offer him a seat.

So, I began to tell him what a marvellous world we live in and we should be grateful for what we have got and not wait for tomorrow or to expect more. I was on a roll and he was sliding into submission.

I rambled on about appreciating life and being grateful. Eventually he thanked me profusively and set off back down the drive. Somewhere the tables had turned and I was feeling like maybe I'd scored a convert.

[Trinity]

I have had too many weirdos to mention. I seem to be a magnet for them.

I don't know why, I certainly don't (knowingly) encourage them but whether i'm out in public or on the internet they seem to gravitate to me.

This has always been the case, even before sci.

All my friends think it's funny though

[nomis]

Yeah Trin, I find myself drawn to you, too.

[DaveP]

I used to be a magnet for nutters too, but it stopped - don't know when, don't know why, but don't miss it!

I was at a beach bar with friends and found this woman standing right behind me. I smiled and she smiled back - the kinda scary smile you see on nutters! lol After a few mins she was still there so I asked her what she was doing. She said I had a huge and very colourful aura and she wanted to stand in it!

At a BBQ this old fella kept staring at me. He caught my eye and smiled, then took off his false hand and threw it at me! I managed to catch it and almost by reflex, thought about enhancing this laugh and swung to throw his rubbery false hand into the pool. I decided against it as it was cold and he was an ol' guy, so I wheeled over with his hand. He then started crying - his dog had died the week before! I told him I was pissed off too as my dog was killed the night before and I had loads of money on the dog winning the fight!!! lol

[Trinity]

Haha, I've had the aura one too, was a few years ago and this woman came up to me and started grabbing the air around me and 'throwing' it around, apparently my aura was too good to keep to myself.

I have also had evil demons cast out of me on more than one occasion

What confuses me is how it's possible to have a fabulous aura whilst being possessed by demons

[Manda]

All my Nana's friends from a Holy Roller Church
(15 or more)
All came to my house,put their hands on me and prayed
all at the same time,started speaking in tongues
scared me to death

[Izziwhizzi]

Reminds me of when a C4 complete friend of mine lived with his sister and brother in law.

His sister and the brother in law were in the 'Jesus Army'

In the middle of one night the brother in law came down crying 'Dave, Dave, Gods told me you can walk again' to which he promptly pulled this 6 foot plus, 100kg, C4 out of bed and both fell down on the floor in a heap.

Add to that the mixture of a Brummie accent and you too can be in fits of laughter.

Needless to say, after my friend stopped laughing, he decided he had to move out and he lived an independant life with live in carers for the rest of his days.

Edited by Izziwhizzi, 22 October 2008 - 12:50 PM.

[AdiTrax]

We had just bought ice creams in the park when a young woman came up and asked if she could pray for me...I didn't think the ice cream was that bad.

[Scribbler]

AdiTrax, on Oct 22 2008, 03:18 PM, said:

We had just bought ice creams in the park when a young woman came up and asked if she could pray for me...I didn't think the ice cream was that bad.

That gave me a chuckle; thanks AdiTrax.

I also attract the weirdo god-squad types like wasps round jam; its happened scores of times, but I'm always ready for them.

The best one was when a couple of middle aged ladies came to my front door wanting to convert me to jesus and saying god would look after me.

It didn't matter what they said I had a quick reply plus endless questions, as I love winding them up.

After a while they tried to get away but I kept on, determined to make them suffer; that way they make a note of never calling again.

Just at that moment it started raining so one of the ladies said, "Oh, we shall have to go, its raining and I've left my washing out"...

I quickly resonded with. "god will look after your washing"... With that, they realised they'd lost, and sped off down the drive never to be seen again...

[Tash]

I have one this is a killer...

One time I went to this church... not a church of my religion I must add. Anyway, one of the Deacons speaking that night saw me in the middle of the room. He had his eye on me the entire sermon. No Prob I get that all the time.

Anyway he finnaly calls me up to the front of the church I was reluctant but what was I gonna do. The deacon started telling me that the Lord wanted me to learn the gift of speaking in tongues. I at the time was very interested in that so I followed on with what he was saying. He asked me to go to a scripture in the Bible and read it aloud. No problem I get that too alot in Church. Then as I read the scripture as it was talking about form of speaking in tongues. I was very confused becasue it just did not register to my soul what I was reading. The Deacon was trying his best to get me to speak in tongues after reading that scripture. I guess he thought that after I read the scripture it would make me speak in tongues INSTANTLY. He layed his hands on me and was pushing on me. Needless to say I never spoke in tongues that night and I think it made the Deacon upset..IDK.

So later I went to my Pastor and asked him to explain to me the scripture I was instructed to read. It turned out that the scripture that I read just was mentioning the phrase speaking in tongues it had nothing to do with actually learning about speaking in tongues.

Doh!

[fatdave]

I used to hang out with people involved in certain "reality-altering" substances, and they too were convinced i had a "great aura" and would ask to sit by me to "feel" it. I told them i don't care, as long as they "feel" anything else.

I was also told by my grandmothers southern-baptist preacher that i was paying for my gluttony and hedonistic life. Sometimes i wonder if he even knows the definition of those words....

and when i was about 14 i had some weirdo i don't even know put his hand on my forhead and start screaming about how "I was going to be a WARRIOR OF GOD!"

I sometimes wonder if this is a war injury from being that "warrior of god"

And slowlegs, i'll be willing to have you transfer that bad karma onto me for a nominal fee also....i take cash, check, or foodstamps

Edited by fatdave, 23 October 2008 - 02:45 AM.

[Slowlegs]

fatdave, on Oct 22 2008, 08:39 PM, said:

I used to hang out with people involved in certain "reality-altering" substances, and they too were convinced i had a "great aura" and would ask to sit by me to "feel" it. I told them i don't care, as long as they "feel" anything else.

I was also told by my grandmothers southern-baptist preacher that i was paying for my gluttony and hedonistic life. Sometimes i wonder if he even knows the definition of those words....

and when i was about 14 i had some weirdo i don't even know put his hand on my forhead and start screaming about how "I was going to be a WARRIOR OF GOD!"

I sometimes wonder if this is a war injury from being that "warrior of god"

And slowlegs, i'll be willing to have you transfer that bad karma onto me for a nominal fee also....i take cash, check, or foodstamps

So how about an IOU Dave? You know that once I win the lottery I'll be good for it. You're not the "god warrior" from wife swap are you? maybe you have bad karma from taking the fifty grand.

[fatdave]

Sure, i'll take an iou, and no, im not that crazy lady....although she was very entertaining.

[E-DOG]

This is not something I would normally talk about, but, what the hell, right?
I mean shit, ya did ask!

The time I was abducted by space dudes.

Around 14 at the time, I was a lively, outspoken child with a high I.Q. and a joyous outlook on life in general.
So I'm passed out one night after a 6 day drunken sex binge with my step sister Frank the skank.
(Frank's a post op tranny with a beautiful body and a face that would stop a clock)
Vomit, piss and pizza crusts all over the floor and me. Frank off to the side laying in a pool of who knows what.

Next thing I know I'm on a glass table, strapped down, with a probe up my, shall we say, secret place.
Little fella walks by, big head, six eyeballs, 3 arms and a pecker that was a frigging monster, and sez,

"You must be Mr. E-dog, out newest addition."
"Why, yes I am you little f*@kwad, what have you got shoved up my ass?"
"Oh that" he sez "that's a probe, why do you ask?"
"Cuz it hurts, you tiny turd eating, six eyed salamander lookin' shit!"
"Yo, dawg, ya needn't get nasty. It's for your own good." "Notice how yer hangover's gone?"
"Hum" I sez, "yer right, no headache, dizzy spell's gone. I'll be damned, I feel fresh as a daisy! What'd ya put in me"
"Tequila and some peruvian flake, you likey?"
"Shit, I feel ten feet tall and bullet proof! Where'd ya get the blow, I haven't had coke this good in years."
"We're from outer space Mr. dawg, we can create anything we want, you know, technology and all."
So I sez, "Well gee, how bout a lil' take home package, you know, for the inconvinience of being sucked outa bed at 800 miles an hour at 4 in the morning?"
"No can do, boo boo." he sez. "And besides, you're not going anywhere for a while. We have work to do, Mr. E with a capital E, dog."

Keep in mind folks, this is a true story. If I get a little support, I'll finish it. Otherwise, you'll have to guess the ending.

E-dog

[sits2much]

I was reading this topic and the first weirdo experience that came to mind was this:

I was attending the state fair, which was a piss poor excuse for a fair. There was a lady in an electric chair that saw me pushing around and seemed mesmerized by me! She came by me a few time and I finally just rolled over to say hi and she wheeled off. The entire day I kept seeing her wheeling around me kind of if she was purposely following me. I really started to get freaked out since she seemed to be stalking me, and I really had no place to get away from her. By the end of the day I was relived to go home. I spent 8 hours at the fair and saw this women at least 20+ times. I was a very weird experience and I hope that I don't see her again.

Cheers!

[wheeliebear75]

Why do you think I don't attend church? Love God & Jesus.....but sometimes some of their disciples can be a bit too much.

I've got a bunch but the oddest one was.

(I only get visitation with my kids so every minute is precious to me)
I was talking with my kids on the bus on the way back to my house when this guy decided that we needed to pray for my "recovery and salvation". I told him I'd already accepted Jesus Christ therefore I was "saved".
"But what about getting up out of that chair?"
"What about it?"
"Don't you want to walk again?"
So of course by my saying that praying isn't going to fix it....."you just don't believe in him".
No amount of me and even my kids telling him that I'm not angry at God & don't blame him in any way would get this guy to stop. He wasn't going to be satisfied until we had ourselves a prayer circle. Is it really THAT hard a concept "I'm not angry"?
Finally I did tell him just to please let me have my evening with my children.
Well the guy just couldn't take no for an answer; the guy actually had a thing of "anointed oil" on his key chain and had dabbled some on his finger and was going to "bless me". I had already told him several times to sit down and leave me alone. But the oil thing was the last straw! After telling him #1 if I could have I'd have moved seats many stops ago, & #2 if he so much as touched me I'd show him just how much upper body strength us wheelchair users have.

FINALLY......the driver stepped in and told him to get off his bus. Thank God fro bus drivers.

[Kwag_Myers]

The only weirdos I've met since my SCI has been here. For example:

Quote

The time I was abducted by space dudes...

[longhaul]

I was at a park when this guy sat at the table next to mine. He was carrying on a conversation with someone who was not there or at least not visible to me. I was fascinated with the conversation and waited for the invisible one to answer because the guy was so convincing. After awhile he got up and walked a few steps turned and ask the invisible one "Are you coming" and walked off, I still wonder if the invisible one went with him.

[fatdave]

Quote

I was at a park when this guy sat at the table next to mine. He was carrying on a conversation with someone who was not there or at least not visible to me. I was fascinated with the conversation and waited for the invisible one to answer because the guy was so convincing. After awhile he got up and walked a few steps turned and ask the invisible one "Are you coming" and walked off, I still wonder if the invisible one went with him.

That was me, and no he didn't

[Austyn]

My partner was sitting around outside a shop waiting for his friend and some f***wit came up to him and said "If you really wanted to you could get out of that chair and walk. God will help you".

Partner responded with "But I don't really want to. I've only been in this chair for 15 years and I'm just getting used to it!"

That shut the idiot up...

[E-DOG]

Kwag_Myers, on Oct 24 2008, 04:47 PM, said:

The only weirdos I've met since my SCI has been here. For example:

Quote

The time I was abducted by space dudes...

Thanx for your support there, Kwag.
'preciate it.
No, really, thanx a lot, you've done wonders for my self esteem.
I knew I shoulda stayed in bed!
a rather despondent E-dog, now in search of a handgun.

[longhaul]

Hey Dog I have one I can't get to work if you want to give it a try let me know.

[E-DOG]

longhaul, on Oct 27 2008, 08:36 PM, said:

Hey Dog I have one I can't get to work if you want to give it a try let me know.

Well longhaul, ain't you just the nicest guy ever!
Let me finish this bottle o' Cuervo an' I'll be right up.
E
you are such a shit!

[longhaul]

E-DOG, on Oct 27 2008, 09:33 PM, said:

longhaul, on Oct 27 2008, 08:36 PM, said:

Hey Dog I have one I can't get to work if you want to give it a try let me know.

Well longhaul, ain't you just the nicest guy ever!
Let me finish this bottle o' Cuervo an' I'll be right up.
E
you are such a shit!

Hey man it was a joke I thought you of all people would get it................hey and pass that bottle over here I'm still trying to get this damn gun to work wish me luck. And I resent only being a shit I am a boneified Ass H*le.

[Courtney]

We haven't had any weirdos yet. However, I do believe that yet is the key word in that sentence. I will have to remember austyn's reply when someone tells me that God will help my husband walk! The interesting thing that I get, is people asking if I need help getting him in and out of the car. Granted I'm only 5'3 and 125lbs.....but why do people stop and watch when we are getting in or out of a vehicle?

[Kwag_Myers]

longhaul, on Oct 26 2008, 12:31 AM, said:

...I still wonder if the invisible one went with him.

I wouldn't. Let's face it, the guy's nuts.

Courtney, on Oct 28 2008, 10:26 AM, said:

...but why do people stop and watch when we are getting in or out of a vehicle?

Maybe you have a cute patoot.

[Courtney]

Kwag_Myers, on Oct 28 2008, 10:11 AM, said:

longhaul, on Oct 26 2008, 12:31 AM, said:

...I still wonder if the invisible one went with him.

I wouldn't. Let's face it, the guy's nuts.

Courtney, on Oct 28 2008, 10:26 AM, said:

...but why do people stop and watch when we are getting in or out of a vehicle?

Maybe you have a cute patoot.

I mean...it's cute and all, but must they stare .....personally, I think that they are making bets with their buddy in the car. I can hear it now---"$5 says she drops this guy"

[E-DOG]

longhaul, on Oct 27 2008, 09:46 PM, said:

Well longhaul, ain't you just the nicest guy ever!
Let me finish this bottle o' Cuervo an' I'll be right up.
E
you are such a shit!

Hey. And I resent only being a shit I am a boneified Ass H*le.


I know you were kidding. Guess my reply wasn't funny enough.
and I know yer an Ass H**e. You just haven't been BONE ified enough LOL!
E

[longhaul]

E-DOG, on Oct 29 2008, 05:18 PM, said:

longhaul, on Oct 27 2008, 09:46 PM, said:

Well longhaul, ain't you just the nicest guy ever!
Let me finish this bottle o' Cuervo an' I'll be right up.
E
you are such a shit!

Hey. And I resent only being a shit I am a boneified Ass H*le.


I know you were kidding. Guess my reply wasn't funny enough.
and I know yer an Ass H**e. You just haven't been BONE ified enough LOL!
E

Hey I have papers proving my title, plus my two X's says so.