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Howdy! I'm doing a drama at college about someone suffering from Quadraplegia and I was wondering if any carers would be able to give me any advice on how i could play the part of a carer. what do they need to do and how does it effect your life- can it be normal? what sort of help is out there for carers. my character is a 17 year old girl who is looking after her paralysed mum and doing her A-Levels at the same time, whilst hanging out with mates and her boyfriend - can that all be done?
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Carers
How do carers cope?
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#2 *Anon*
Posted 08 December 2005 - 10:24 AM
KT - I am a 24 hour carer for my hubby who is paralysed completely from C2, on a ventilator and cannot do anything for himself. He has no movement in his arms or legs and most of his time is spent in bed or in a special wheelchair. I would think that what you are asking i.e. to care for Mum, hang out with mates and see her boyfriend would depend on how much ability your Mum has and can she be left on her own.? If she is able to be left then I would think you could do these things. However, and this is only my opinion, the definition of the word "carer" means just that and by doing that you obviously have to lose some of your own enjoyment. If you could find someone else to relieve you - whcih is what I do through respite, etc, then you can still have some of your own plesaures. Not everyone would agree iwth me though. Another post where it will fire up posters.
Hope this helps.
Hope this helps.
#3
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Posted 08 December 2005 - 02:17 PM
I agree. It depends on how independent the mom is. Everyone is different. I know people with high injuries that are more independent than those with low injuries and visa versa. You need to find out more about the mom and let us know.
Personally, I can't do it all, and my husband is a very low level paraplegic. I go to school full time and take care of him and I've pretty much got my hands full. I have a couple of good friends who understand me and they know that if I don't have time to call everyday then we are still friends. My husband's injury is still relatively "fresh" though, so after he heals up, I will be able to do it all.
Life can be normal...just not the normal that normal people thinks is normal!!! Did that make any sense? I guess it is just kinda like finding a new normal in your life.
Personally, I can't do it all, and my husband is a very low level paraplegic. I go to school full time and take care of him and I've pretty much got my hands full. I have a couple of good friends who understand me and they know that if I don't have time to call everyday then we are still friends. My husband's injury is still relatively "fresh" though, so after he heals up, I will be able to do it all.
Life can be normal...just not the normal that normal people thinks is normal!!! Did that make any sense? I guess it is just kinda like finding a new normal in your life.
#4
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Posted 08 December 2005 - 03:06 PM
You might want to include the fact that due to your mum being a quad that you may have to get up a few times during the night to turn her (depending on her abilitys), to relieve the pressure on on side, i think that would be a good point too add as this would affect the concentration that you would have on your schoolwork,
i think that would be a good point to make,
is this a play that you have made up, or somthing you have been told to act out?
i think that would be a good point to make,
is this a play that you have made up, or somthing you have been told to act out?
This post has been edited by wheelie182: 08 December 2005 - 03:10 PM
That's what she said!
#5
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Posted 08 December 2005 - 07:46 PM
Then there would be the preparations in getting ready to go out with her friends. She'd have to spend time making sure everything her mum would possibly need would be within reach, all the bathroom details taken care of beforehand, food prepared and easy to access, emergency phone numbers nearby, etc.
Her time out would probably be very limited too, depending on the level of need her mum has.
Another thought: People who are in w/c's are often very particular about how things are done. We kind of get set in our ways and tend to not vary much from what we know has worked best in the past.
I really like the premise of your play, and I hope you're able to include the true realities of what it's like to deal with someone (or be someone!) who has a SCI. Good luck with your efforts.
Her time out would probably be very limited too, depending on the level of need her mum has.
Another thought: People who are in w/c's are often very particular about how things are done. We kind of get set in our ways and tend to not vary much from what we know has worked best in the past.
I really like the premise of your play, and I hope you're able to include the true realities of what it's like to deal with someone (or be someone!) who has a SCI. Good luck with your efforts.
* * * * * * * * *
Female. Incomplete para following a cord stroke in '03. Spina-bifida, severe scoliosis. 18 surgeries total...five spine-related: Three fusions w/hardware, two tethered cord releases.
Female. Incomplete para following a cord stroke in '03. Spina-bifida, severe scoliosis. 18 surgeries total...five spine-related: Three fusions w/hardware, two tethered cord releases.
#6
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Posted 08 December 2005 - 10:48 PM
There are so, so many tiny, tiny things that are very important for you to do everytime you leave the house. There are so many things I do that I don't even think about it anymore...it is just like brushing my teeth or hair! I always have to get up at least an hour earlier than I did before to make sure everything is taken care of before I go. Then, I always have to have my cell phone close by in case I need to rush home. That is if my husband is in bed though. If he is up in his chair then I can just go and he can take care of himself.
#7 *KT*
Posted 09 December 2005 - 10:30 AM
It seems that there is alot of stuff to think about. Thank you all for your help and advice.
The play's story line is one that our group have to make up ourselves but we had a stimulus to trigger any ideas.
The mum has been in a wheelchair for about 3 years, paralyzed from the neck down, and she has a carer from an agency during the day from about 8 o'clock, when the daughter leaves the house for college, and 4 o'clock when she gets back.
i thought that if the daughter was late, no matter how late it was, that the mum would know and be effected by it, if it was 20 minutes, she would know if it was 23 minutes or 19 minutes. in this instance, the regular carer is on holiday, so there is a stand-in. the replacement is really nice and helpful- maybe a little too helpful, and does things in a different routine to the other carer. The mum makes out to the daughter that the stand-in isn't taking care of her properly when of course she is and that she walked out 3 hours early and left her alone when it was her who sent her away.
The stress of looking after her mother and school and a social life takes its toll on the daughter and she starts to resent her for it. there is alot of tension between the two and not alot of conversation.
Do you think that this play could work? any more advice anybody may have would be greatly appreciated.
The play's story line is one that our group have to make up ourselves but we had a stimulus to trigger any ideas.
The mum has been in a wheelchair for about 3 years, paralyzed from the neck down, and she has a carer from an agency during the day from about 8 o'clock, when the daughter leaves the house for college, and 4 o'clock when she gets back.
i thought that if the daughter was late, no matter how late it was, that the mum would know and be effected by it, if it was 20 minutes, she would know if it was 23 minutes or 19 minutes. in this instance, the regular carer is on holiday, so there is a stand-in. the replacement is really nice and helpful- maybe a little too helpful, and does things in a different routine to the other carer. The mum makes out to the daughter that the stand-in isn't taking care of her properly when of course she is and that she walked out 3 hours early and left her alone when it was her who sent her away.
The stress of looking after her mother and school and a social life takes its toll on the daughter and she starts to resent her for it. there is alot of tension between the two and not alot of conversation.
Do you think that this play could work? any more advice anybody may have would be greatly appreciated.
#8
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Posted 09 December 2005 - 03:43 PM
It sounds like a great play....very parallel to real life...I would go see it if I had a paralyzed spouse or not.
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