1 reply to this topic

[Mia]

Hi everybody.

I accidently came across this sight this afternoon and have just finished reading the previous posts and find it very comforting that there is a place we can all meet up.

My husband Noel is a C5 quad after a car accident 13 years ago, we have been married for two years so it is relatively new for me. I am amazed by his strenght, courage and accomplishments and wouldn't change a thing about him but I too feel I'm losing myself because I want to be "on call" 24 hours a day even though he managed just fine without me.

I also am no longer happy go lucky but worry about what could go wrong in any situation. I am a hairstylist and really want to go back to work and Noel is encouraging me but I am filled with terror about not being there for my family if something happens.

We have two daughters (from my first marriage) and as the able bodied parent I feel alot of responsibility. It is nice to know after reading the previous posts that this is probably a natural feeling. Does anybody have any tips on getting over this or any personal experience of their own.

Thanks everyone.
Mia

[Jilly]

Hi Mia,
My advice is definitely go back to work. You need your own life and interests just like you would with any other relationship. Your man will be fine, as you said he managed without you before. Maybe for your own peace of mind you could start back at work part time then you would only be away for a few hours. You say that you feel you are losing your own identity....thats telling me you need to find your own thing to do and going back to hairdressing sounds like a good way to do it.

My man is T5 Para and I imagine his needs are very different than your man, but I work full time as I need my own life....combined with his.